Comments | captainhikaru: Help for Fellow Women.

captainhikaru

Help for Fellow Women.

Mar 14, 2009 23:45

I got this email and thought I'd share it with all of my fellow women.

This is for you, And for you to share With your wife, Your children, Everyone you know. After reading these 9 crucial tips, Forward them to someone you care about. It never hurts to be careful In this crazy world we live in ( Read more... )

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ooc: I'm so sorry!! V_V doubleppk March 15 2009, 04:28:54 UTC

This is SUCH bullshit.

2. Don't throw your money away just because some JACKASS asks for it. Kick him in the head, knee him in the balls and stop fucking enabling. If he had any skills he wouldn't need to ask for it so he should just learn better.

3. What kind of cars are even made with kick-out tail-lights? Answer? NONE. You want to get out of a car trunk? You keep a knife on your person at all times someplace kidnappers aren't going to notice. Then when they think you're safely tied up, you cut the ropes, and jack the door open. Stab the tires and kill the stupid idiots who thought to mess with you.

4. This is why motorcycles are better than cars. Carjackers don't even bother trying to convince a motorcyclist to drive them away. Also, cars don't exist in this world! Why even bring it up?! And please, most carjackers don't put the gun to a girl's head UNTIL she drives off. And do you know why? Because then she's already in motion, DUH.

6. Please. Rapists are lazy. That's why they don't try to go through with the effort of getting girls through date-rape. Bothering with large stairways is not going to happen. Elevators ARE safer but only because they have emergency phones and buttons and if worse comes to you can kick out an exit.

7. Running in a zig-zag pattern slows you down. Running for cover or water is best.

9. That is what is known as an urban legend but any women coming out of her safety spot because of a baby crying is going to get killed anyone.

You suck as a girl by the way. Try harder.

Re: ooc: I'm so sorry!! V_V captainhikaru March 15 2009, 04:38:37 UTC

tl;dr

BTW: I'm an awesome girl.

doubleppk March 15 2009, 04:57:46 UTC

It's shorter than yours which you insisted everyone should read dumbass.

Epic failure. In my world you'd have been spread out, fucked and left by the train tracks cut up into itty bitty pieces.

Especially if you think those tips of yours would save you.

captainhikaru March 15 2009, 05:02:01 UTC

Yeah, but mine's an entry and yours is a comment.

Did you miss the part where I said I got this as an email and posted it because it was hilarious? Or were you too busy being feminist and offended?

ooc: I found it funny, for what it's worth, Fujiko less so doubleppk March 15 2009, 05:11:44 UTC

Too busy being ticked off because this ocean is filled with a bunch of idiots and I'm sick of watching people rush headlong into imminent doom and jerks like you encouraging such misbehaviour on the principle of a joke. I'm easily amused and yet even I didn't find it funny.

I did find Tamaki's taking it as good advice funny though. That man is a comical failure.

Re: ooc: I found it funny, for what it's worth, Fujiko less so captainhikaru March 15 2009, 05:22:34 UTC

I don't think I'm encouraging anything. I think you're oversensitive and taking your estrogen too seriously right now.

doubleppk March 15 2009, 05:49:16 UTC

Tell you what. Next time you get raped, kidnapped, ruffied, drugged, or spend 3 and 1/2 years of your life both undercover pretending to be a prostitute and trying to counsel rape victims we'll ask how amusing this is to you and my answer will be, "Stop taking your testosterone so seriously and grow a pair." And keep in mind, you have France on your ship~ and Russia will be returning any day now~

captainhikaru March 15 2009, 06:00:15 UTC

...

tl;dr.

Re: ooc: I'm so sorry!! V_V samurai_parfait March 15 2009, 17:48:43 UTC

Ha ha! You scared Hikaru! HIGH FIVE! :D

doubleppk March 15 2009, 19:41:13 UTC

I did? Really??? :D

He seemed more than a little apathetic towards the situation?

samurai_parfait March 16 2009, 04:10:55 UTC

Yeah, he was a little rattled further down on the thread when I mentioned something about scary women being awesome.

samurai_parfait March 16 2009, 04:19:57 UTC

Oh wait, nevermind. Didn't see the rest of your guys's convo down there. Serves me right for answering things from my email.

doubleppk March 16 2009, 04:27:52 UTC

Well THAT part came later.

But yeah I don't think he was that much scared.

sekuharadesu March 15 2009, 22:43:26 UTC

I like you. What's your name?

doubleppk March 16 2009, 00:56:18 UTC

Fujiko Mine.

Glad to see someone thinks as I do.

sekuharadesu March 16 2009, 01:20:33 UTC

Likewise.

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