I hate Valentine's Day
One of the most frustrating things that happens to me is when someone tells me, "You're a wonderful person. You'll find someone." I want to scream out, "No! It's not going to happen! It hasn't happened, and it won't!" I don't like the implication that being a wonderful person automatically means that one will have a loving, fulfilling relationship or even just a light hearted romance. I have years and years of experience to the contrary.
I know that whenever a friend says this, he or she really means it and sincerely believes it, but it just feels almost patronizing and in a way, dismissive. If what they say is true, I have to keep living with the fact that I'm so wonderful, yet for all this goodness, I can't spark some feelings in some woman. Either I'm so wonderful that no woman dare approach me in this way, or I have some severe hidden defect. I know I'm quite fat, and that can be a serious obstacle to some people, but there are plenty of overweight men and women who are dating.
Then comes the first half of February, the worst half-month of the year, when the happiness of couples spreads in front of me like a beautiful reflection in a pool. I want to reach down, but if I reach too far I'll drown. But still that doesn't stop me.
I don't really want to write any more right now. I hate Valentine's Day.
I know that whenever a friend says this, he or she really means it and sincerely believes it, but it just feels almost patronizing and in a way, dismissive. If what they say is true, I have to keep living with the fact that I'm so wonderful, yet for all this goodness, I can't spark some feelings in some woman. Either I'm so wonderful that no woman dare approach me in this way, or I have some severe hidden defect. I know I'm quite fat, and that can be a serious obstacle to some people, but there are plenty of overweight men and women who are dating.
Then comes the first half of February, the worst half-month of the year, when the happiness of couples spreads in front of me like a beautiful reflection in a pool. I want to reach down, but if I reach too far I'll drown. But still that doesn't stop me.
I don't really want to write any more right now. I hate Valentine's Day.