It's Christmas,weehaa >:(
It:s Christmas....again,and that's a good thing on one hand but it's a bad thing on the other.
Now why is that,you might ask.
I think,i will tell you why,although that'll be a long one,so you better bring along some crackers and something to drink.Not that it's an amusing story,just in case.
Now for the most part,i'm a happy fella,but as a lot of people on this planet,i do have my dark sides.And they always come out in times like christmas or at the beginning of spring,so to say in times,when you feel lonely,cause you see so many people in love,except yourself.
I'm 25 now and i never had any sort of relationship whatever.Yes,some of you might be surprised about that,but that's how it is.
How that has occured,well,i just was the psychical punching ball of my classmates and you don't have a lot of time nor the self-confidence to dig at your favourite girl in school and i never did.I always kept my crush for myself.Until one day in 2000,that's when i told this woman(29),that i love her(first-timer for me,nervous as hell).But i had competition and to anticipate the outcome,i lost.
Why,i don't know,i don't really care.
The important thing is,up to this point,i didn't know,what love could mean.I was just sitting around at home,playing videogames,listening to music,bore myself to death,things like that.
That woman showed me,what i was missing out the last 10 years,which was,again,a good thing,but also a bad thing.
She just showed me but didn't start a relationship with me(Like i said,i lost).
Since that day,i'm craving for this feeling,that she gave me that one evening and worse,all other women that might follow up,will be compared to her.I already hate myself for that.
Furthermore,my heart is broken,no,say shattered since that day,into thousands of thousands of tiny pieces.No one on this planet will ever be able to mend this heart of mine.
And in times like this,i feel so f.....in' lonely,i could drive my car full speed against a tree or jump from a high bridge,that's what love can do to you and your mind,soul,whatever.I'm so devastated inside,i don't know,if i will ever be in a position to have a healthy relationship and i hate that thought.
I would give my life for a woman,that would take me with my mistakes,but unluckily,i'm not a "chick-magnet" nor am i very much into public entertainment,like going into a club,partying and stuff.
I'm a quiet guy,sometimes a little strange,nothin really to have as a partner.But that's not up to me to judge.
I just had to write this off my soul and i hope to feel better after i sent this update.
Until next time(maybe)
Markus
Now why is that,you might ask.
I think,i will tell you why,although that'll be a long one,so you better bring along some crackers and something to drink.Not that it's an amusing story,just in case.
Now for the most part,i'm a happy fella,but as a lot of people on this planet,i do have my dark sides.And they always come out in times like christmas or at the beginning of spring,so to say in times,when you feel lonely,cause you see so many people in love,except yourself.
I'm 25 now and i never had any sort of relationship whatever.Yes,some of you might be surprised about that,but that's how it is.
How that has occured,well,i just was the psychical punching ball of my classmates and you don't have a lot of time nor the self-confidence to dig at your favourite girl in school and i never did.I always kept my crush for myself.Until one day in 2000,that's when i told this woman(29),that i love her(first-timer for me,nervous as hell).But i had competition and to anticipate the outcome,i lost.
Why,i don't know,i don't really care.
The important thing is,up to this point,i didn't know,what love could mean.I was just sitting around at home,playing videogames,listening to music,bore myself to death,things like that.
That woman showed me,what i was missing out the last 10 years,which was,again,a good thing,but also a bad thing.
She just showed me but didn't start a relationship with me(Like i said,i lost).
Since that day,i'm craving for this feeling,that she gave me that one evening and worse,all other women that might follow up,will be compared to her.I already hate myself for that.
Furthermore,my heart is broken,no,say shattered since that day,into thousands of thousands of tiny pieces.No one on this planet will ever be able to mend this heart of mine.
And in times like this,i feel so f.....in' lonely,i could drive my car full speed against a tree or jump from a high bridge,that's what love can do to you and your mind,soul,whatever.I'm so devastated inside,i don't know,if i will ever be in a position to have a healthy relationship and i hate that thought.
I would give my life for a woman,that would take me with my mistakes,but unluckily,i'm not a "chick-magnet" nor am i very much into public entertainment,like going into a club,partying and stuff.
I'm a quiet guy,sometimes a little strange,nothin really to have as a partner.But that's not up to me to judge.
I just had to write this off my soul and i hope to feel better after i sent this update.
Until next time(maybe)
Markus