i'm here and in one piece
well as it says i am officially in Chicago. I made it here. It has been an interesting transition though, not like i thought. It has been a learning experience, a time to figure stuff out. It is crazy to be alone and feeling like you are in this big city with all these people but know no one. You end up sitting around waiting to meet people but you have to make the initiative. Last night I went to dinner at Duck Walk and got some thai food, and drank some wine. It was strange to sit there and not have anyone to talk to. I found myself looking at this guy who was acroos the room eating by himself. He kept looking back at me and I found myself wondering what his story was. After that I headed to the gay bar. In St. Louis Freddies was my bar of choice, it was familiar, everyone knew me and htere was no pressure to turn people away or worry about being hit on. I loved it. I could go in and they knew what I wanted and I could just talk to people. Up here everyone seems to be looking for someone or already found someone, it isn't about friendship, it is about hooking up and finding someone or so it seems. I could be completely off, I dunno. But it has been an experience and I just cant wait for it to become familiar to. In a way it still seems as though I am on a long vacation. It seems as though I am just visiting for the time being. But I do have a job up here and a friend or two, and for now it is enough. I am good at staying in touch with the ones I care about and it has become completely evident who cares about me. My long time friends, the people who have been through it all with me, they are the ones that still care. They are the ones who want ot see me do well and no matter what they don't judge me. They see me as the person I was and the one I wanna become. And I love them for it. You all know who you are.....