(no subject)
since no one comments on my entries i am gonna take it as no one reading them so....ya. thats good i guess, then that means that my thoughts are kept private.
so i've met someone new. well, not really, i knew him before but i haven't seen him in years. he seems cool. quiet. cute. i think so anyway. i've come to realize that there AREN'T many good guys here. i'm not attracted to any of them really. i mean, i think people are good looking and stuff, but im never really attracted. i don't know what it is, its just when i look at someone and theres "something" that happens inside me, i don't know what it is, but it happens, and i know i like them....if that sounds childish or not i dont really care. but like i said, no one will read this anyway...
i've missed out on a lot lately i think. i haven't gone to any parties or anything. and i haven't really done anything besides walk around. but it doesnt bother me or anything, i just think its weird. i like takeing it easy sometimes. just realxing, not making big plans to go get wasted and shit like that, just..... relaxing!
i cried like 4 times today, for like no reason at all. and it wasnt just little weeps, i was BAWLING! once because my dad said something to me, and another time was just because my brothers were yelling downstairs! what the fuck is that? who cries because someone is yelling downstairs, and they werent yelling at me or anything, just yelling and being loud. i think that theres someting wrong. with me i mean. i just don't feel the same. not like me. i try to be me, but it just feels weird. like i actually have to try to be myself, so obviously that doesnt work.
i dont even know any more. about anything. it all seems like one big blur. everything is happening so fast!its like time is put in fast forward or someting. its kind of scary.
but any ways, im out of things to say.
whatever. thats what i think.
whatever...
so i've met someone new. well, not really, i knew him before but i haven't seen him in years. he seems cool. quiet. cute. i think so anyway. i've come to realize that there AREN'T many good guys here. i'm not attracted to any of them really. i mean, i think people are good looking and stuff, but im never really attracted. i don't know what it is, its just when i look at someone and theres "something" that happens inside me, i don't know what it is, but it happens, and i know i like them....if that sounds childish or not i dont really care. but like i said, no one will read this anyway...
i've missed out on a lot lately i think. i haven't gone to any parties or anything. and i haven't really done anything besides walk around. but it doesnt bother me or anything, i just think its weird. i like takeing it easy sometimes. just realxing, not making big plans to go get wasted and shit like that, just..... relaxing!
i cried like 4 times today, for like no reason at all. and it wasnt just little weeps, i was BAWLING! once because my dad said something to me, and another time was just because my brothers were yelling downstairs! what the fuck is that? who cries because someone is yelling downstairs, and they werent yelling at me or anything, just yelling and being loud. i think that theres someting wrong. with me i mean. i just don't feel the same. not like me. i try to be me, but it just feels weird. like i actually have to try to be myself, so obviously that doesnt work.
i dont even know any more. about anything. it all seems like one big blur. everything is happening so fast!its like time is put in fast forward or someting. its kind of scary.
but any ways, im out of things to say.
whatever. thats what i think.
whatever...