Christmas Arrogance and Malevolence for All

[captain_pinhead]

Nobody is online because secretly, you're all religious nutsacks and I bet you are celebrating the birth of your messiah and wearing knitted sweaters whilst unpacking gifts with your families on a rug by a fireplace somewhere. Well I hope you carelessly allow a ribbon to fall into the fireplace when you ravage yet another perfectly packaged little box of goodies. Then, whilst you devour your tasty holiday ham, unbeknownst to your family, the ribbon catches on fire, and, like a fuse, beckons the inferno of the fireplace unto this picturesque scene. Your gifts; your rug; your tree; your decorations; your family pictures; better yet, your family members, all are soon devoured by the merciless flames and all that is left is a lump of coal, and a lump sum of monies from house and life insurance for the delinquent family member who refused to partake in the Christmas farce.
Basically, I hope you're all choking on this joke of a holiday and milking it for any possible financial gain.

Now these are some christmas wishes I doubt you'll ever find inside of a hallmark card.