Manifesto of a Personal Revolution
I'm tired of wandering around in this MGM movie lot.
I don't know if I'm as happy as I tell myself I am.
I spend too much time feeling inferior/absent/lost.
I need to stop this hazy existence.
I just want to feel something again.
I want to be blown away by something. Shredded/kicked/uplifted; its all good.
I'm sick of being friends with everybody, but not feeling like I know any of them.
I'm lonely, and I need to stop denying it.
I need to learn who these people I clothe myself with are.
I need to find my friends again.
I have to start believing I'm interesting again.
I need to find something interesting to say. The familiar Luke I used to love comes out all too rarely.
I have to find some new experiences. I'm tired of playing these conversations on auto-pilot.
I have to refind my energy.
I need to spend a lot more time one on one with people. I feel like I've collapsed into an adjunct of group identity. Keeps everyone at a (safe?) distance. It smacks of apathy. And fear.
I need to find the time to do what I want.
I want to be more creative.
I want to feel excited. There was a time when it felt like that was all i could do.
I need to stop waiting for something to wake me up.
I want to start caring again.
This mediocrity doesn't become me.
...............
Bowl of Oranges - Bright Eyes
The rain had started tapping
on the window near my bed
There was a loop hole in my dreaming
so I got out of it
And to my surprise my eyes were wide and already open
Just my nightstand and my dresser
where those nightmares had just been
So I dressed myself and left then
out into the gray streets
But everything seemed different
and completly new to me
The sky, the trees, houses, buildings
even my own body
And each person I encountered,
I couldn't wait to meet
And I came upon a doctor
who appeared in quite poor health
I said, "there's nothing I can do for you, you can't do for yourself"
He said, "oh yes you can, just hold my hand, I think that that would help"
So i sat with him a while and i asked him how he felt
he said, "I think I'm cured, no infact I'm sure of it
thank you stranger... for your theraputic smile."
So that's how I learned the lesson
that everyone's alone
And your eyes must do some raining
if you're ever gonna grow
When crying don't help, you can't compose yourself,
it's best to compose a poem
An honest verse of longing
or a simple song of hope
That's why I'm singing, baby, don't worry
cause now i've got your back
And everytime you feel like crying
I'm gonna try to make you laugh
And if i can't, if it just hurts too bad,
then we'll wait for it to pass
And i will keep you company
through those days so long and black
We'll keep working on the problem
we know we'll never solve
Of love's uneven remainders
our lives fractions of a whole
But if the world could remain within a frame
like a painting on a wall
then i think we'd see the beauty then
And stand staring in awe
At our still lives posed
like a bowl of oranges
like a story told
by the fault lines and the soil
I don't know if I'm as happy as I tell myself I am.
I spend too much time feeling inferior/absent/lost.
I need to stop this hazy existence.
I just want to feel something again.
I want to be blown away by something. Shredded/kicked/uplifted; its all good.
I'm sick of being friends with everybody, but not feeling like I know any of them.
I'm lonely, and I need to stop denying it.
I need to learn who these people I clothe myself with are.
I need to find my friends again.
I have to start believing I'm interesting again.
I need to find something interesting to say. The familiar Luke I used to love comes out all too rarely.
I have to find some new experiences. I'm tired of playing these conversations on auto-pilot.
I have to refind my energy.
I need to spend a lot more time one on one with people. I feel like I've collapsed into an adjunct of group identity. Keeps everyone at a (safe?) distance. It smacks of apathy. And fear.
I need to find the time to do what I want.
I want to be more creative.
I want to feel excited. There was a time when it felt like that was all i could do.
I need to stop waiting for something to wake me up.
I want to start caring again.
This mediocrity doesn't become me.
...............
Bowl of Oranges - Bright Eyes
The rain had started tapping
on the window near my bed
There was a loop hole in my dreaming
so I got out of it
And to my surprise my eyes were wide and already open
Just my nightstand and my dresser
where those nightmares had just been
So I dressed myself and left then
out into the gray streets
But everything seemed different
and completly new to me
The sky, the trees, houses, buildings
even my own body
And each person I encountered,
I couldn't wait to meet
And I came upon a doctor
who appeared in quite poor health
I said, "there's nothing I can do for you, you can't do for yourself"
He said, "oh yes you can, just hold my hand, I think that that would help"
So i sat with him a while and i asked him how he felt
he said, "I think I'm cured, no infact I'm sure of it
thank you stranger... for your theraputic smile."
So that's how I learned the lesson
that everyone's alone
And your eyes must do some raining
if you're ever gonna grow
When crying don't help, you can't compose yourself,
it's best to compose a poem
An honest verse of longing
or a simple song of hope
That's why I'm singing, baby, don't worry
cause now i've got your back
And everytime you feel like crying
I'm gonna try to make you laugh
And if i can't, if it just hurts too bad,
then we'll wait for it to pass
And i will keep you company
through those days so long and black
We'll keep working on the problem
we know we'll never solve
Of love's uneven remainders
our lives fractions of a whole
But if the world could remain within a frame
like a painting on a wall
then i think we'd see the beauty then
And stand staring in awe
At our still lives posed
like a bowl of oranges
like a story told
by the fault lines and the soil