Mutual Genocide
Apparently noses can bleed at random. I was not privy to this knowledge until recently when I woke up with my hands and precious jacket covered in blood. At first I thought I had finally killed someone with my bare hands as opposed to death by severe making funnery. After concocting an ingenious plan on what to do with the body, I sneezed and created a intricate mural of the virgin mary's last menstruation on the wall, I think jesus was in there somewhere in his infamous beanie and striped shirt. thank god for water proof material because the blood just wiped right off my jacket, the wall was a little harder however. Apparently yelling doesn't clean blood, it just attracts attention. "it was like that when I got here" didn't seem to work so I darted out the back door screaming "jewdickspicchinkcrackerniggeryellowdevilgookcoonwatermeloncuntsnatchpenisjesuschristianmorphinpowerrangers" to awe and dismay any followers. Logically, I proceeded to round table where my order was taken by a girl so whorish I could hear the wind whistling in the canyon between her legs. This was the kind of girl that had absolutely no reason for legs because all they do is get in the way. After ordering a cheeseburger and violently demanding a refund for the money I didn't spend when they told me they didn't serve cheeseburgers, I went home and had just enough time to smash my head into the walls a few times before passing out.
I think whales should be sold as beds during the winter so we can sleep in their vaginas, that would be the coolest thing in the history of things
"I have a twin"
"I have a double"
"I have a king!"
"I sleep in a whale, go fuck yourselves"
I think whales should be sold as beds during the winter so we can sleep in their vaginas, that would be the coolest thing in the history of things
"I have a twin"
"I have a double"
"I have a king!"
"I sleep in a whale, go fuck yourselves"