From a rather hysterical Star Trek XI thread on sixwordstories that I participated on:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5207985/1/Red_Matter

Go reeeeeead.  It's good crack.  Nero thinks red jello eats people (*cough*) so he goes to Safeway to get some.

Yes.. I sorta had a hand in that convincing part...

(it does eat people.. and planets..)

Pancakes!!!  says:
 *Tackles from behind*

Don Nathan    says:
 OMG PANCAKES
 PANCAKES TOOK DOWN DON NATHAN

OMG I WON THE ICON BATTLE!!!!!!!!!!1

PROJECT AMBUSH HUG OF EMONESS!