(no subject)
Break is damn near over, and i didnt enjoy it as much as i know i could, or should have. Im kinda pissed at the fact my car is slowly but surely fitting into the rusted down shitbox i hoped i wouldn't have to drive in highschool.
In other news, due to the fact im seeing mortality in my uncle bob, im disturbed about dying again. So im giving up pop after new years and i might like, excercise and shit. i figure from dropping pop and more or less giving up fast food, which essentially means no more 9 tacos a week from Taco Bell, i can drop a good 10 lbs.
While im kinda scared that school is almost over now with break near done, im scared at the prospect of college. i know i can pass, i know i can do well, but i dont want to think about all the debt i'll have or for that matter, the lack of a job i have, and then on top of the fact my mom has decided i should stop my anti-depressents. I admit i prolly should. I've gotten streaky about taking them everyday. Mainly cuz when im off them, im fine, and i dont think about the fact a year ago i was pretty fucked up mentally. Yet when im on them im told by my mom i more or less make a suicidal Bipolar person look normal. I geuss im worried as to whether or not i can handle it full time without it. So yeah i geuss with college, ill grow into the idea of having a shitload of debt. I mean, i was worried about stuff in HS in freshman year, but now i look at school as easy. Hell back when i was six, i used to get scared goin there and not having mom, dad, or grandma nearby to keep me reassured, but hey, i drive myself to this hellhole building of a school everyday now. Maybe ill get used to it by the end of it.
And more importantly, ask Beth Geerer about a stuffed animal resembling the Ebola virus. Just do it!