Solo
Toki asks Nathan if the band can perform his computer generated love song for Skwisgaar.
turnip_girl wrote this fic and said I could make a part 2. (This can stand alone, but makes more sense if you read hers. If you don’t care about sense, do whatever.) First version of the song here is the one she generated.
x-posted to i_hates_you
Disclaimer: I do not own them, and all that stuff.
Toki knew Skwisgaar didn’t really think he’d do it, take his crappy little song to the rest of the band, but he was going to do just that.
He’d purposely waited until he could catch Nathan alone and very drunk, both conditions which would make him more likely to listen and consider this crazy scheme. Convince Nathan, convince the band. Which sounded like something from tv, but that didn’t make it any less true. If Nathan agreed, the others would go along with it.
Well, everybody but Skwisgaar, but he’d figure that part out later.
One night he saw his chance. “Nathan? I writes this song with a generators thingy, and I wants to plays it.”
“So go play it.”
“Noes, I means alls of us as a whole bands.”
“I’m too drunk for this. Or not drunk enough, I’m not sure which. Doesn’t matter. Anyway, what the hell, let me see what you have.”
Toki handed over the printout, and Nathan read in silence:
I loves that you ams going to gives to me a solos one days
Verse One:
The one times I trieds to bes in a relationships, I hads to jumps out ofs a windows
Lucky to have been where I have been
I worrys that you'll get so mads at my sloppy playings that you'll kicks me out of the bands
I've never been this close to anyone or anything
Chorus:
I loves that you ams going to gives to me a solos one days
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose
The times when you says that my playings ain't so bads ams the best
Sometimes life can be deceiving
Verse Two:
I hopes we'll be togethers forever!
The mornin' dew is blinkin' yonder
As long as we gets to pals around, I don't minds what we dos fors a date
You've given me the thrill of a lifetime
Chorus Two:
I loves that you ams going to gives to me a solos one days
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose
The times when you says that my playings ain't so bads ams the best
Sometimes life can be deceiving
“Oh Toki, this is... This is pretty terrible.”
“I knows, but that’s what the generators gaves me! Can we plays it, pleeease?”
“I don’t know, I mean I wouldn’t even be discussing this with you if I wasn’t really, really drunk right now. You’re asking me to sing a love song about Skwisgaar, do you have any idea how gay that is? And... and you wrote about Mountain Dew? You know you’re not supposed to have sugar.”
“You reads it wrongs! And they makes a diet versions anyways.”
“Oh. Yeah, but this still really sucks.”
“Pleeease Nathan! It really really reallies means a lots to me!”
“Ugh. Okay, but two conditions. One: We do it here in the studio, no way am I letting this happen during a show. And two: We need to make it more brutal because this isn’t, or at least where it makes some sense. Oh, and three: You have to sing the backup.”
"You saids two.”
“I can’t count when I’m drunk. But that’s the best offer I’m making you, take it or leave it.”
“Fines, I takes it. What does you wants to rewrites?”
“Everything!”
“Nathan...”
“Okay, let me see what I can do here. Um, The only time he dated a girl he jumped out a window and we knew he was gay for you.”
“Noes! That’s no goods!”
“Fine, let me think. And go get me more beer, if I sober up at all the deal’s off.”
“How much has I gots to sing?”
“How about every other line?”
“How’s I still supposed to plays mine guitar?”
“You figure it out.” What was with the twenty questions, and where was his beer?
“How’s we goings to gets the other guys to plays it?”
“Uh, Pickles will, no problem. He’s cool. And Murderface... I don’t know, I can threaten him or something.”
“And I gets the solos?”
“You get it all, the only way I can see that Skwisgaar will actually stay and listen is if we tie him to a chair. So we’ll, you know, tie him to a chair.”
“Oh wowee, you’s really goods at this!”
“Toki? Beer! Now.”
~one week later~
Practice was almost over. Skwisgaar had noticed that Toki was acting a little strange, but had decided to ignore it. Nathan had been drinking heavily throughout practice, which was a little unusual and more troubling. He usually waited until afterwards.
They finished the song they were on, then Nathan grabbed a chair and set it in the middle of the room. “Skwisgaar, come sit here.”
Skwisgaar obeyed, a little confused. “Okays, but why? It amns’t mine birt’day.”
Toki and Pickles quickly tied him up.
“Hey, what de fucks ams goings on here?”
Nathan sighed. “Okay Skwisgaar, it’s like this: Toki wants us to play this song he sort of wrote. Except he didn’t really write it because he used some computer thing and then I helped him make it suck less. But anyway, you’re going to sit there and listen.”
“Toki, you really takes dat t’ing to Nathans?” Toki was just grinning. Skwisgaar looked to Murderface, his best hope to object to this. “Murderface, you ams okays wit’ dis gay stuffs?”
“Hey, asch long asch it’sch not about me, I don’t give a schit.”
“Shuts up and listens now, Skwisgaar.”
Pickles moved his mic stand and adjusted it for Toki, setting it where he could face Skwisgaar.
Nathan continued drinking to prepare himself, this was very possibly the gayest thing he’d ever done.
Skwisgaar watched in dread, having no real idea what to expect and not liking being tied up. He knew the song sucked, but Nathan said he’d changed it... Well at least now he understood why Nathan was currently so drunk, he wished he was too.
They took their positions and began, Nathan and Toki singing every other line:
“Dating chicks makes him jump out of windows.”
“You never makes me wants to do that.”
“You bitch so damn much he thinks you want to kick him out of the band.”
“But stills I feel really close to yous.”
Skwisgaar sat with a ‘deer in the headlights’ expression, wishing he could at least hide his face but his arms were tied down. It was also really strange to see his band playing without him.
“He wants you to give him a solo someday, don’t be such a dick about it.”
“Or I ties you up and plays mine own damn solos, ha, takes that!”
“It makes him really happy when you say he doesn’t suck.”
“I knows when you hates me it’s just pretends.”
Toki played a short solo, well technically it was all a solo since Skwisgaar wasn’t playing, except that’s not really the definition of a solo...
It didn’t suck, but that wasn’t the point either.
“I hope you guys stay together forever so I never have to do this again, seriously.”
“I woulds buy you a unicorns.”
“You have it easy, he’s a really cheap date.”
”Heys! Fucks you Nathan, you changed that!”
“Fine! What he likes best is just spending time with you.”
“Ams the best times in mine whole life.”
Somewhere deep inside Skwisgaar’s brain, a war was waging between laughing and dying of embarrassment. He only hoped it would be over soon.
“He wants you to give him a solo someday, don’t be such a dick about it.”
“Everybody still knows you’s always the best.”
“It makes him really happy when you say he doesn’t suck.”
“I loves you, Skwisgaar.”
Finally, they wrapped it up. Nathan walked straight out of the room without a backward glance, but Pickles threw him an apologetic grin as he put his stuff away.
Murderface handed Toki a knife. “Wait til we’re all out of the room before you cut him loosche.”
Toki nodded, then waited. He suspected Murderface was taking his time just to be an asshole, in fact he was pretty sure of it.
And then they were alone.
Toki aproached Skwisgaar with the knife, but hesitated.
“Toki? Don’ts ever does dis to me agains.”
“Um, you’s not goings to kills me when I lets you loose, rights?”
“Maybes.” He realized that wasn’t getting him out of the ropes any faster. “No, it ams already all overs, killings you now woulds change not’ings.”
Toki cut the ropes and Skwisgaar stood, rubbing his arms where the ropes had left marks.
“Dids you writes dat music?”
“Mostly! Pickle helpeds me some though. Dids you likes it?”
“It wasn’t too terribles.” He saw Toki’s hurt expression. “Okay, you dids fine, don’ts be getting all upsets now. Besides, I shoulds be de one mads at you.”
Toki grinned. “But you’s not. You knows, I bets Nathan would does you’s song if you asks.”
“No. No ways. And de next time I gets ties up, somet’ing kinky better happens.” He pulled Toki in and kissed him. “But rights now, let’s go gets some beers.”
And that’s what they did.
turnip_girl wrote this fic and said I could make a part 2. (This can stand alone, but makes more sense if you read hers. If you don’t care about sense, do whatever.) First version of the song here is the one she generated.
x-posted to i_hates_you
Disclaimer: I do not own them, and all that stuff.
Toki knew Skwisgaar didn’t really think he’d do it, take his crappy little song to the rest of the band, but he was going to do just that.
He’d purposely waited until he could catch Nathan alone and very drunk, both conditions which would make him more likely to listen and consider this crazy scheme. Convince Nathan, convince the band. Which sounded like something from tv, but that didn’t make it any less true. If Nathan agreed, the others would go along with it.
Well, everybody but Skwisgaar, but he’d figure that part out later.
One night he saw his chance. “Nathan? I writes this song with a generators thingy, and I wants to plays it.”
“So go play it.”
“Noes, I means alls of us as a whole bands.”
“I’m too drunk for this. Or not drunk enough, I’m not sure which. Doesn’t matter. Anyway, what the hell, let me see what you have.”
Toki handed over the printout, and Nathan read in silence:
I loves that you ams going to gives to me a solos one days
Verse One:
The one times I trieds to bes in a relationships, I hads to jumps out ofs a windows
Lucky to have been where I have been
I worrys that you'll get so mads at my sloppy playings that you'll kicks me out of the bands
I've never been this close to anyone or anything
Chorus:
I loves that you ams going to gives to me a solos one days
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose
The times when you says that my playings ain't so bads ams the best
Sometimes life can be deceiving
Verse Two:
I hopes we'll be togethers forever!
The mornin' dew is blinkin' yonder
As long as we gets to pals around, I don't minds what we dos fors a date
You've given me the thrill of a lifetime
Chorus Two:
I loves that you ams going to gives to me a solos one days
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose
The times when you says that my playings ain't so bads ams the best
Sometimes life can be deceiving
“Oh Toki, this is... This is pretty terrible.”
“I knows, but that’s what the generators gaves me! Can we plays it, pleeease?”
“I don’t know, I mean I wouldn’t even be discussing this with you if I wasn’t really, really drunk right now. You’re asking me to sing a love song about Skwisgaar, do you have any idea how gay that is? And... and you wrote about Mountain Dew? You know you’re not supposed to have sugar.”
“You reads it wrongs! And they makes a diet versions anyways.”
“Oh. Yeah, but this still really sucks.”
“Pleeease Nathan! It really really reallies means a lots to me!”
“Ugh. Okay, but two conditions. One: We do it here in the studio, no way am I letting this happen during a show. And two: We need to make it more brutal because this isn’t, or at least where it makes some sense. Oh, and three: You have to sing the backup.”
"You saids two.”
“I can’t count when I’m drunk. But that’s the best offer I’m making you, take it or leave it.”
“Fines, I takes it. What does you wants to rewrites?”
“Everything!”
“Nathan...”
“Okay, let me see what I can do here. Um, The only time he dated a girl he jumped out a window and we knew he was gay for you.”
“Noes! That’s no goods!”
“Fine, let me think. And go get me more beer, if I sober up at all the deal’s off.”
“How much has I gots to sing?”
“How about every other line?”
“How’s I still supposed to plays mine guitar?”
“You figure it out.” What was with the twenty questions, and where was his beer?
“How’s we goings to gets the other guys to plays it?”
“Uh, Pickles will, no problem. He’s cool. And Murderface... I don’t know, I can threaten him or something.”
“And I gets the solos?”
“You get it all, the only way I can see that Skwisgaar will actually stay and listen is if we tie him to a chair. So we’ll, you know, tie him to a chair.”
“Oh wowee, you’s really goods at this!”
“Toki? Beer! Now.”
~one week later~
Practice was almost over. Skwisgaar had noticed that Toki was acting a little strange, but had decided to ignore it. Nathan had been drinking heavily throughout practice, which was a little unusual and more troubling. He usually waited until afterwards.
They finished the song they were on, then Nathan grabbed a chair and set it in the middle of the room. “Skwisgaar, come sit here.”
Skwisgaar obeyed, a little confused. “Okays, but why? It amns’t mine birt’day.”
Toki and Pickles quickly tied him up.
“Hey, what de fucks ams goings on here?”
Nathan sighed. “Okay Skwisgaar, it’s like this: Toki wants us to play this song he sort of wrote. Except he didn’t really write it because he used some computer thing and then I helped him make it suck less. But anyway, you’re going to sit there and listen.”
“Toki, you really takes dat t’ing to Nathans?” Toki was just grinning. Skwisgaar looked to Murderface, his best hope to object to this. “Murderface, you ams okays wit’ dis gay stuffs?”
“Hey, asch long asch it’sch not about me, I don’t give a schit.”
“Shuts up and listens now, Skwisgaar.”
Pickles moved his mic stand and adjusted it for Toki, setting it where he could face Skwisgaar.
Nathan continued drinking to prepare himself, this was very possibly the gayest thing he’d ever done.
Skwisgaar watched in dread, having no real idea what to expect and not liking being tied up. He knew the song sucked, but Nathan said he’d changed it... Well at least now he understood why Nathan was currently so drunk, he wished he was too.
They took their positions and began, Nathan and Toki singing every other line:
“Dating chicks makes him jump out of windows.”
“You never makes me wants to do that.”
“You bitch so damn much he thinks you want to kick him out of the band.”
“But stills I feel really close to yous.”
Skwisgaar sat with a ‘deer in the headlights’ expression, wishing he could at least hide his face but his arms were tied down. It was also really strange to see his band playing without him.
“He wants you to give him a solo someday, don’t be such a dick about it.”
“Or I ties you up and plays mine own damn solos, ha, takes that!”
“It makes him really happy when you say he doesn’t suck.”
“I knows when you hates me it’s just pretends.”
Toki played a short solo, well technically it was all a solo since Skwisgaar wasn’t playing, except that’s not really the definition of a solo...
It didn’t suck, but that wasn’t the point either.
“I hope you guys stay together forever so I never have to do this again, seriously.”
“I woulds buy you a unicorns.”
“You have it easy, he’s a really cheap date.”
”Heys! Fucks you Nathan, you changed that!”
“Fine! What he likes best is just spending time with you.”
“Ams the best times in mine whole life.”
Somewhere deep inside Skwisgaar’s brain, a war was waging between laughing and dying of embarrassment. He only hoped it would be over soon.
“He wants you to give him a solo someday, don’t be such a dick about it.”
“Everybody still knows you’s always the best.”
“It makes him really happy when you say he doesn’t suck.”
“I loves you, Skwisgaar.”
Finally, they wrapped it up. Nathan walked straight out of the room without a backward glance, but Pickles threw him an apologetic grin as he put his stuff away.
Murderface handed Toki a knife. “Wait til we’re all out of the room before you cut him loosche.”
Toki nodded, then waited. He suspected Murderface was taking his time just to be an asshole, in fact he was pretty sure of it.
And then they were alone.
Toki aproached Skwisgaar with the knife, but hesitated.
“Toki? Don’ts ever does dis to me agains.”
“Um, you’s not goings to kills me when I lets you loose, rights?”
“Maybes.” He realized that wasn’t getting him out of the ropes any faster. “No, it ams already all overs, killings you now woulds change not’ings.”
Toki cut the ropes and Skwisgaar stood, rubbing his arms where the ropes had left marks.
“Dids you writes dat music?”
“Mostly! Pickle helpeds me some though. Dids you likes it?”
“It wasn’t too terribles.” He saw Toki’s hurt expression. “Okay, you dids fine, don’ts be getting all upsets now. Besides, I shoulds be de one mads at you.”
Toki grinned. “But you’s not. You knows, I bets Nathan would does you’s song if you asks.”
“No. No ways. And de next time I gets ties up, somet’ing kinky better happens.” He pulled Toki in and kissed him. “But rights now, let’s go gets some beers.”
And that’s what they did.