Fic - Addicted To Chaos
Got another one!
Pairing: Rockso/Toki
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Frot, Masturbation, Knifeplay, Light Bondage...and did I mention this has Rockso in it? Yeah, I know. :/
Author's Notes: So I'm pretty much evil. This prompt, Written for Back to Klok. was just song lyrics from Megadeth's "Addicted to Chaos". No real pairing, no prompt or any do's or don'ts, just the lyrics. So I chose to do...this. You have your permission to hate me now.
Addicted To Chaos
Only yesterday they told me you were gone
All these normal people will I find another one?
Monkey on my back, aching in my bones
I forgot you said "One day you'll walk alone"
Toki would never be exactly sure what had made him feel more than just friendship for the clown. It hadn't started out that way....he'd met Rockso at Murderface's birthday party, after he'd been kicked out of Mord Haus and beaten by the Klokateers at Muderface's rage-filled command. Something about the scene had invoked an emotion he hadn't felt since long before joining Dethklok, that of a strong sympathy for another human being.
He'd gone around back, after their performance for Murderface and after they'd all gotten together to give Murderface his real birthday gift, to see what had become of Rockso. He hadn't expected to see the clown still lying there, curled up in a ball, shivering and whimpering in that high-pitched voice of his that was like nails on a chalkboard to most other people. Toki had bent down and asked Rockso if he was all right. Rockso had whined something at Toki that he couldn't understand, got up and was about to run off when Toki had grabbed his arm impulsively.
"Lets me drives you home," he'd all but begged. "Ams de leasts I can does."
Rockso had just nodded weakly, and Toki had gone to the garage, taken one of Nathan's cars, and driven Rockso back to where he'd been staying at the time, a fetid flophouse on the outskirts of Mordland. The clown had been sharing an apartment with about ten other guys, all of them strung out on some kind of drug or another. The more Toki had seen of Rockso's world, the stronger the sympathy got until all Toki wantd to do was fix everything, be the one person Rockso knew he could turn to. Because maybe, just maybe, if Toki opened his heart to someone else, one day someone would come along and do the same for him, too.
I said I need you, does that make me wrong?
Am I a weak man, are you feeling strong?
My heart was blackened, it's bloody red
A hole in my heart, a hole in my head?
He hadn't seen Rockso for weeks after that. He'd given the clown some money - fucking stupid thing to do, he knew now - and one of those cards with all his contact information that Offdensen told him to carry on his person at all times, in case of an emergency. Toki had just assumed that Rockso had been too busy, doing whatever it was clowns tended to do when they weren't performing at birthday parties. And then one night, his Dethphone rang, and that familiar, screechy voice was on the other line.
"Heeeyyy, T-T-T-Toookiiii! Wanna hang out and have some fuuunnnn?!"
After all, who was Toki to turn down a good time, especially when a cool clown like Rockso was inviting him along? Toki had wanted to make a good impression, so he'd taken Murderface's car that time.
It turned out that Rockso's idea of a good time involved stealing, cocaine, guns and driving around the city at breakneck speeds with the stereo blasting. Toki wasn't sure about the cocaine, but Rockso wasn't forcing him to do any so all the other stuff was pretty cool, so of course he went along with it...he didn't want to ruin their good time, after all. He didn't know when he'd get to just hang out with a friend again, none of the guys ever wanted to just hang out with him, unless they were drunk and high .And sure Rockso was high all the time, but it was a different kind of high...he actually knew Toki was there.
Who will help me up?
Where's the helping hand?
Will you turn on me?
Is this my final stand?
The first time things had gotten sexual was on one of those little jaunts, the same night they'd come back to Toki's place and Rockso had awakened the whole Haus by sticking his hand in Murderface's pants. They stopped off to get some gas at a shady-looking filling station in the middle of nowhere. Rockso had been doing cocaine all night, like he normally did, but this time he'd taken some pills too. Toki went in to pay for the gas, then came back out with a 12-pack of beer, and Rockso was sitting in the passenger seat just staring at him.
Toki placed the 12-pack in the backseat before he realized that Rockso had been staring. "Oh, sorries, Rockso! You wants a beer?"
And Rockso just grinned his wide, manic grin and placed his hand on Toki's thigh. "Naw, baby, I ain't thirsty."
Toki gulped, not quite able to decipher what was going on at first, but pretty sure it wasn't right. "Rockso? What ams you doings?"
Rockso leaned forward, grinning wider by the second, unzipping Toki's pants. "Figure it out, b-b-baby."
"R-Rockso! Noes!' Toki squeaked, batting the clown's hands away from his crotch desperately. "I...I nots like dat, I likes goils! You knows dats!"
"Aw, c'mon man, don't be a bummer," Rockso begged. "I got needs too, y'know. Girls are great, but they don't look at Rockso no more....not like you...you look at Rockso with them pretty blue eyes...." He trailed off, moving Toki's hands out of the way and zipping his pants down all the way this time. "You like your ol' pal Rockso, don't ya?"
"Y-yeah, Rockso, I likes you, but...."
it was then that Toki felt the handcuffs clasp around his wrists, and the cold steel of the knife Rockso kept in his boot on his throat. Then, and only then, did he suddenly start to feel aroused.
In a dream I cannot see
Tangled abstract fallacy
Random turmoil builds in me
I'm addicted to chaos
Toki's eyes were squeezed shut and he heard himself whimpering, but he wasn't sure if he was whimpering because he didn't want it, or because he wanted it so bad he felt like he'd explode. Rockso's hands were dry, wrinkled and calloused from age and hard living. They didn't have any lube handy and the clown wasn't even as courteous as to spit in his palm, just took hold of Toki's cock in one hand and his own in the other. Toki cried out when he felt Rockso start to roughly jack him off, then bit down on his bottom lip hard enough to bleed...they were still parked in a filling station after all, tinted windows or no, anyone could walk out right now and catch them in the act. Rockso was panting hard, but otherwise silent...he never took his eyes off Toki's face, not even when he came hard all over the plush interior of Murderface's car. He grabbed the knife, pressing it to Toki's throat again, and Toki moaned, reaching his own climax.
Rockso uncuffed Toki, put the knife away, and tucked both of them back into their respective items of clothing, and they went on about the rest of the night as if it hadn't happened...they were just a couple pals, out for a night of fun and mayhem.
That had been the last time they'd really gotten a chance to "hang out' for a while, since apparently Rockso had done something to overstep his boundaries at Mord Haus and Offdensen said Rockso wasn't allowed to come back anymore (Toki had figured it was just because the guys hated him). But then, he'd gotten that tearful, desperate call in the middle of the night, and suddenly, the handcuffs, the knife, Rockso's predatory, leering face...he couldn't erase those images from his mind.
Light shined on my path,
Turn bad days into good
Turn breakdowns into blocks, I smashed 'em
Cause I could
Pickles, of course, hadn't wanted to drive Toki down to get Rockso, but in the end he'd agreed. Probably because he knew addiction, and knew what it was like to want to help someone in the throes of it. It had killed Toki to see Rockso giving handjobs to old men for five bucks a pop. He'd hoped that the intervention would help Rockso, even if it meant there wouldn't be any more "good times" between them.
He'd tried to talk to Rockso at the Snakes n' Barrels Sobertown USA show, just to say hi and catch up with his old friend, but the former Rock n' Roll Clown had just looked through Toki as if he hadn't even been standing in front of him, let alone tried to talk to him. it might have been a part of his deprogramming he'd gone through while in rehab, or maybe that stupid dildo that had taken Pickles' old band away had instructed him not to talk to anyone who even remotely looked like they could be a member of Dethklok. Whatever the reason, it had hurt Toki deeply, and when he heard about Rockso's relapse and further cocaine-fueled shenanigans, he hadn't been a bit surprised or compelled to help him again.
My brain was labored, my head would spin
Don't let me down, don't give up, don't give in
The rain comes down, cold wind blows
The plans we made are back up on the road
Turn up my collar, welcome the unknown
Remember that you said
"One day you'll walk alone"
He'd been horrified to run into Rockso dressed as Santa at the mall, of all places. But a small part of him held out hope. So maybe Rockso hadn't stayed sober. He'd lied, he'd taken advantage of Toki's kindness on more than one occasion. But that didn't mean he was a lost cause yet. Maybe the people he was listening to at that class were full of shit. You didn't give up on someone you cared about no matter how fucked up they were. And, if worse came to worse, things would just go back to how they'd been before all the crazy stuff started happening, when they'd been best friends.
Toki found out quiicky how wrong he'd been. Rockso was more fucked up than ever. All he cared about now was cocaine, it was even worse than it had been before. And the nicer Toki tried to be to him, the worse it got....until finally, Toki had tried to draw a hot bath for the clown, who was sick and shaking from withdrawals, and ended up with his head being held underwater.
Who will help me up?
Where's the helping hand?
Will you turn on me?
Is this my final stand?
Wet, gasping and panting, Toki somehow managed to force his head back up to the surface, pushing against the weight of Rockso's grip. The clown was screaming something about Toki getting him some cocaine, and Toki's first instinct was to scuttle away and do exactly what had been ordered. But suddenly, he remembered....the cuffs, the knife...maybe this was the only way to help his friend. To get his mind off drugs for at least a little while.
Toki's eyes narrowed, and he shook his head, slapping Rockso's hand away. "Noes, I nots gets you any drugs," he forced himself to bark out. "I tolds you I nots enables you anymore."
Rockso glared murderously at Toki. He reached for his knife, and Toki grabbed his arm, yanking it forward so that the blade was pressing against his throat. Toki's hand tightened over Rockso's hand, the hand that held the knife, while his other hand trailed slowly down to his pants, unzipping them and freeing himself from his candy-cane imprinted boxers.
The reflection of rage and murder in the clown's eyes was replaced with the most base expression of animal lust. Toki had never seen anything like it, never had anyone look at him like that, and it was making him harder than the knife, or the memory of the cuffs around his wrists. Rockso pawed at the pants of his Santa suit, tearing at the belt until it was loose enough for him to free his own swollen member.
Toki scooted forward on his knees, getting closer to Rockso...he didn't want to get that close to the guy, since he smelled pretty bad, but at this point his dick had completely taken over his brain, he almost couldn't smell anything anymore. He grabbed Rockso's cock, pressing it against his own, and wrapped his fingers around both of them. A low moan caught in his throat as his eyes fluttered closed, feeling the dirty, yet delicious friction.
In a dream I cannot see
Tangled abstract fallacy
Random turmoil builds in me
I'm addicted to chaos
Rockso cried out, grabbing Toki, scooping him in closer with one arm, still holding the knife to his throat with the other, as Toki's strokes built up speed. The clown fisted a hand into long brown hair and pulled, making Toki gasp and moan loudly. "Yeah, that's it, b-b-baby, scream for Rockso!"
"Aaaaah...Dr. Rockso...I LOVES YOU!"
Toki came, shuddering and panting and barely aware of what he'd just shouted at the top of his lungs. Rockso didn't even notice, just thrust himself against Toki's cock and into his hand and came not a moment later, then tucked himself back into his pants and went on about the business of trying to find some drugs.
The last time Toki saw Rockso was during Murderface and Knubbler's fiasco of a Christmas special. His back still hurt sometimes from that cross falling on him. He'd been so blind with rage when he'd found out about Rockso's final betrayal that he barely remembered anything before the accident, and the next thing he'd remembered after that was being wheeled into the hospital on a stretcher. But he would never forget that last time they'd had together, however short it had been.
Perhaps, deep in his heart, Toki knew why he'd developed these feelings for Rockso. It was more than just having a friend to pal around with, more than sympathy. Maybe Toki was an addict himself. He was addicted to what Rockso stood for, his dangerous lifestyle, his ability to make everything seem brighter, more colorful, yet somehow edgier. Rockso was a walking speedball on acid, and no matter what, Toki would always be his biggest fan... and his biggest junkie.