12- Learning
Previous parts: And the Devil will set you free, The streets of Norway, How many more sins? Paradise lost, Music is freedom, Girl trouble, Toki relocation, Too fast, Audition, Dethhouse, Day 2
Toki tries to learn their songs, has band practice, and is forced to go shopping.
Warnings: none this time
Disclaimer: I do not own them, and all that stuff. Or Wal-mart either, unfortunately.
Toki was learning the rules, or what passed for rules. You could take a shower as long as nobody else was already in there, they didn’t have an order or anything. He was still mostly going last though, just to be polite.
And it was okay to eat anything that hadn’t already been eaten. They always seemed to have food, or be about to get food.
Also, alcohol would almost magically reappear before they ever completely ran out.
He was trying to learn their songs, but that wasn’t going so well. No matter what he had said, it was clear that Skwisgaar had just isolated his previously recorded tracks and copied them to tapes.
It was hard, trying to learn this way. He had no idea what songs were which, or what they might sound like with the other instruments thrown in. Also, in a few places the finger work was just a little too fast, he couldn’t quite manage it.
After a few days of playing the copies over headphones, trying to figure it all out, he was ready to give up in disgust. But practice with the band started tomorrow...
It was Murderface who offered to help, of all people.
Toki was sitting in his room, trying once again to figure out what the hell he was supposed to be playing when Murderface came in. “Hey, how’sch it going?”
Toki stopped the tape and took off his headphones. “Nots so good. They’s probably just goings to gets rid of me.”
“Come to my room, we have ampsch. We’ll put on the CDs and play to them, okay? Nobody elsche isch here.”
But Skwisgaar said he didn’t want him learning from the CDs... but this wasn’t working at all. “Okays. Where is everybodys?”
“They went to the schtudio. They never let me go when they’re doing the final schtuff, they’ll probably never let you go either. We’re not important enough. Come on, let’sch play.”
They went to the room Murderface shared with Pickles, indeed there were amps in there. Murderface pointed to the one his bass wasn’t plugged into. “We can’t turn them up much becausche we’re hiding, but it’sch better than nothing.”
And so they played. Listening to the CD was way better than trying to memorize a random disconnected rhythm line.
Apparently this studio stuff the others were doing was an all day thing, because they had time to go through both albums twice, playing and drinking beer.
Toki was feeling much more confident about his ability to make it through the next day without getting thrown out. “Moiderface... Don’t tell Skwisgaar how we dids this, okays?”
Murderface just waved his hand dismissively. “He won’t aschk.”
They were sitting on the couch watching boring TV when the others finally came home.
Nathan threw bags of food at them, Murderface was clearly used to this treatment but Toki barely caught his. “We got tacos. Toki, I hope you’re not a picky eater.”
“Tacos is fines.” No, he wasn’t very picky.
“Scho did you get it all done?”
“Yeah. But I think we’re gonna have to get a new producer, that guy’s a real asshole.”
After they ate (and drank of course), the others started drifting off to bed until it was down to just Toki and Pickles. Some nights Pickles never bothered going to bed, and slept on the couch.
“So are ya ready fer tomorrow?”
Toki shrugged. “Pickle, what happens if I messes up?”
“What do ya mean if? It’s yer first practice, yer gonna mess up. Don’t worry ‘bout it too much, it’ll be alright.” He noticed that Toki didn’t look reassured at all. “Hey, yer scared of Nat’an, aren’t ya? Don’t be.”
“But whats if I messes up and he kills me?”
Pickles finished his beer, reached for another and realized he was out. He got up and retrieved more, handing one to Toki as he sat back down. “Nat’an’s jest like thet, controllin’ an’ all, because this is his first time at tha top. I’ve told him he needs to let tha manager handle more stuff, thet’s what we pay him fer, but he’s stubborn.” He considered, drinking his beer. “Actually, it’s tha first time fer all of them. Sahm of Skwisgaar’s bands got known, but never anythin’ like this. Me, I’ve been here before, I know how fast it can change. But this time, I don’t think thet’s gonna happen... it’s jest a feelin’ I’ve gat. We’re only goin’ higher, you’ll see.”
That made sense. “I never even has my own band befores.”
“Thet’s okie, ya git ta start at tha top. But you’ve toured before, haven’t ya? Or am I rememberin’ wrong?”
“Ja, with Assassination Time. They picks me up in Norway and brings me here.”
“Well don’t be so worried, yer gonna be jest fine. An’ Nat’an’s naught gonna kill ya.” Pickles realized he was out of beer again, and didn’t feel like getting up to get more.. “Look, I’m jest gonna pass out now, okie?
“Okays. Night, Pickle.” Toki went to bed.
****
The next day, Toki went with them for his first real practice.
He’d restrung his guitar with Skwisgaar-approved strings, and had to admit that they did sound better than the kind he’d been using, at least at low volume through Murderface’s amp.
As soon as they started, Toki realized he’d been worried about the wrong band member. Nathan paid him no mind at all, but Skwisgaar was very quick to criticize.
“No, dat’s wrong! You ams doesing it all wrong! We’s starting over.”
Toki tried harder, but he just hadn’t had enough time to memorize everything yet. And improvising was not met with approval.
Even more nervous now, he tried even harder. Skwisgaar wasn’t even playing exactly what he’d been learning from, making it even more difficult to follow.
“What ams dis shit, I thoughts you coulds play! Starts over!”
Murderface gave Toki what was supposed to be a reassuring look, but it was clear that he didn’t dare say anything. He’d probably been through the same thing himself.
Toki said nothing, not wanting to risk making things worse. He tried to play it faster, play it like he thought he remembered it.
Skwisgaar just kept tearing into him.
Several restarts later, Pickles threw a drumstick at Skwisgaar, hitting him in the back of the head. “Skwisgaar, shut tha hell up! He’s naught gonna git it raight on tha first day! Ignore him and jest fuckin’ play!”
Skwisgaar sniffed disapprovingly, but finally quit stopping them.
They played through most of the songs, and Toki knew he was messing up on a lot of them. He’d get it eventually, he just needed more time, more practices.
It was Nathan who finally called a stop.
Nobody questioned him, they just turned their amps off.
Nathan went over an collapsed on one of the couches, resting. Toki looked at him curiously, singing wasn’t that hard of work, was it? Pickles was nearby, so he asked him. “Hey Pickle? Is Nathan okays?”
“Yeah he’s fine, he jest gets tired sahmtimes, needs a little rest. We’re all used ta it, so don’t let it worry ya.”
And sure enough, pretty soon Nathan was sitting up and looking mostly normal.
They all helped themselves to the seemingly ever-present beer supply.
Nathan had an announcement. “We’re getting new photos, and we have to do a press conference. And this time, we’re ALL wearing black!”
“Pfft, all buts me.”
“Uh-uh, you too! Go out and buy a fucking black shirt for this, I don’t give a shit what you wear the rest of the time.”
“But Nathans-“
“I. Don’t. Care. You’re doing it! Besides, I know you’ve worn it in other bands, it won’t fucking kill you. Toki, do you have a decent black shirt?”
“Nots really, they’s all old.”
“Fine. Skwisgaar, take him with you when you go shopping, both of you get black shirts. And jeans too, if you don’t have them.”
Toki didn’t have a problem with wearing all black, but was wondering how he would afford to buy anything.
Skwisgaar was pouting, but Nathan wasn’t done. He pointed at Toki. “And shave! Corpse paint looks like shit over facial hair, that’s why we don’t have any.”
He did have a problem with that. “But Pickle said-“
“SHAVE!”
Well... he could always grow it back. He wasn’t about to get kicked out of this band for something as stupid as not shaving. He nodded.
They went home, Skwisgaar still clearly pissed off but unwilling to challenge Nathan. He took his shower and went straight to their room.
Nathan retreated to his side of the house, and Murderface went to take a shower.
Pickles lit a joint, lounging on the couch. “So yer gonna shave.” It wasn’t a question.
“I guess so. I gots no choice, does I?”
“Nah, ya rally don’t. Hey, I wonder how many rooms we’re gonna git after the con’frence?”
That didn’t make sense. “Rooms?”
Pickles took a moment to reply, he’d just taken a big hit. Finally, he exhaled. “Yep. We git rooms an’ chicks, and have an orgy. Hey, yer naught a virgin, are ya?”
“Noes.” Toki wasn’t sure he wanted to be in an orgy though. “We can’ts affords more than one rooms?”
“It’s jest more fun ta share. Ya know... well maybe ya don’t. Look, we can’t bring chicks here, so we gotta make up fer it when we can.”
Murderface was done with the bathroom, so Toki escaped to take his shower. If he was going to be required to fuck in front of them for some reason, it was good to be warned. Maybe.
While he was in the bathroom... As much as he hated to do it, Toki shaved.
He made a face at himself in the mirror, he looked like a little kid again. Well not really, not his body. He’d filled out over the years, still skinny but not scrawny.
Oh well, it was done. At least he would finally get to wear corpse paint, that was something to look forward to. Would they help him put it on, or was he going to just have to hope he got it right?
It was all too much to think about, so Toki took his shower and went to bed. Tomorrow he had to go shopping with Skwisgaar.
****
Nothing was said about shopping in the morning, although Pickles did comment on his new lack of facial hair. Maybe they’d forgotten about it?
But after a while, Nathan dropped some wadded up bills and a set of keys in Skwisgaar’s lap. “You can’t use your card, so go someplace cheap. You know, like Wal-mart or something.”
“Pfft, Wals-mart.” He made no move to get up.
“Stalling’s not going to change my mind, get your asses up and go!”
Toki jumped up, Skwisgaar got up much more slowly. “Fines. Comes on Toki, we goes in the disguises closet.”
It turned out to be a large closet near the front door. Skwisgaar pulled off his shirt and grabbed one from a hanger, putting it on and buttoning it up. He got a hair band off the shelf and pulled his hair back, then put on some yellow-tinted glasses. “What ams you waitings for, change.”
Toki took off his shirt and pulled the first one he’d grabbed over his head. It was a little tight, so it probably belonged to Pickles. He noticed Skwisgaar looking at him funny.
“You ams not a little as you looks. Puts yous hairs back, and gets a hat or someting.”
He wasn't sure about this shirt. “Maybes I should changes?” Skwisgaar shook his head, so Toki finished his disguise and they went out to the car.
Skwisgaar wasn’t the best driver, but he got them there alive. Toki went to open his door, but Skwisgaar stopped him. “You gots to remembers to be callings me Frank while we ams in dere, okays? And I guess we needs a name for yous too...”
“Pickle and Moiderface names me Jack.”
“Oh okays, dat’s easy, I likes it. Let’s be getting dis overs with now.”
Together, they went into Wal-mart. It was fine with Toki, he’d shopped here before, but Skwisgaar seemed annoyed by it.
Toki led the way, since Skwisgaar seemed unsure where to start. Skwisgaar would probably want the same style he usually wore, and it was likely that the only plain shirts would be in that same section.
“Uh, Jack? Why ams we in de underwears section?”
Instead of answering, he grabbed a pack of what was probably the right size and handed it over. While Skwisgaar was inspecting the shirts, Toki found some a pack for himself. Now they just needed jeans, he only had blue and Skwisgaar owned mostly white.
They were stacked by size, making it easy. “Just finds yous size, Skw- Frank.” He’d almost messed up. “Or tries them on, if you doesn’ts know.” He found himself a pair, he had some in this brand so he knew they’d fit.
Skwisgaar seemed clueless, so Toki took a guess and picked a couple for him to try, shoving him toward the conveniently close dressing rooms.
He waited, but Skwisgaar didn’t come out to show him.
When he did come out though, he was carrying the pair that had fit him, laving the others for the store people to deal with.
They checked out unrecognized and headed back home, Skwisgaar still driving badly.
Corpse Painted
Toki tries to learn their songs, has band practice, and is forced to go shopping.
Warnings: none this time
Disclaimer: I do not own them, and all that stuff. Or Wal-mart either, unfortunately.
Toki was learning the rules, or what passed for rules. You could take a shower as long as nobody else was already in there, they didn’t have an order or anything. He was still mostly going last though, just to be polite.
And it was okay to eat anything that hadn’t already been eaten. They always seemed to have food, or be about to get food.
Also, alcohol would almost magically reappear before they ever completely ran out.
He was trying to learn their songs, but that wasn’t going so well. No matter what he had said, it was clear that Skwisgaar had just isolated his previously recorded tracks and copied them to tapes.
It was hard, trying to learn this way. He had no idea what songs were which, or what they might sound like with the other instruments thrown in. Also, in a few places the finger work was just a little too fast, he couldn’t quite manage it.
After a few days of playing the copies over headphones, trying to figure it all out, he was ready to give up in disgust. But practice with the band started tomorrow...
It was Murderface who offered to help, of all people.
Toki was sitting in his room, trying once again to figure out what the hell he was supposed to be playing when Murderface came in. “Hey, how’sch it going?”
Toki stopped the tape and took off his headphones. “Nots so good. They’s probably just goings to gets rid of me.”
“Come to my room, we have ampsch. We’ll put on the CDs and play to them, okay? Nobody elsche isch here.”
But Skwisgaar said he didn’t want him learning from the CDs... but this wasn’t working at all. “Okays. Where is everybodys?”
“They went to the schtudio. They never let me go when they’re doing the final schtuff, they’ll probably never let you go either. We’re not important enough. Come on, let’sch play.”
They went to the room Murderface shared with Pickles, indeed there were amps in there. Murderface pointed to the one his bass wasn’t plugged into. “We can’t turn them up much becausche we’re hiding, but it’sch better than nothing.”
And so they played. Listening to the CD was way better than trying to memorize a random disconnected rhythm line.
Apparently this studio stuff the others were doing was an all day thing, because they had time to go through both albums twice, playing and drinking beer.
Toki was feeling much more confident about his ability to make it through the next day without getting thrown out. “Moiderface... Don’t tell Skwisgaar how we dids this, okays?”
Murderface just waved his hand dismissively. “He won’t aschk.”
They were sitting on the couch watching boring TV when the others finally came home.
Nathan threw bags of food at them, Murderface was clearly used to this treatment but Toki barely caught his. “We got tacos. Toki, I hope you’re not a picky eater.”
“Tacos is fines.” No, he wasn’t very picky.
“Scho did you get it all done?”
“Yeah. But I think we’re gonna have to get a new producer, that guy’s a real asshole.”
After they ate (and drank of course), the others started drifting off to bed until it was down to just Toki and Pickles. Some nights Pickles never bothered going to bed, and slept on the couch.
“So are ya ready fer tomorrow?”
Toki shrugged. “Pickle, what happens if I messes up?”
“What do ya mean if? It’s yer first practice, yer gonna mess up. Don’t worry ‘bout it too much, it’ll be alright.” He noticed that Toki didn’t look reassured at all. “Hey, yer scared of Nat’an, aren’t ya? Don’t be.”
“But whats if I messes up and he kills me?”
Pickles finished his beer, reached for another and realized he was out. He got up and retrieved more, handing one to Toki as he sat back down. “Nat’an’s jest like thet, controllin’ an’ all, because this is his first time at tha top. I’ve told him he needs to let tha manager handle more stuff, thet’s what we pay him fer, but he’s stubborn.” He considered, drinking his beer. “Actually, it’s tha first time fer all of them. Sahm of Skwisgaar’s bands got known, but never anythin’ like this. Me, I’ve been here before, I know how fast it can change. But this time, I don’t think thet’s gonna happen... it’s jest a feelin’ I’ve gat. We’re only goin’ higher, you’ll see.”
That made sense. “I never even has my own band befores.”
“Thet’s okie, ya git ta start at tha top. But you’ve toured before, haven’t ya? Or am I rememberin’ wrong?”
“Ja, with Assassination Time. They picks me up in Norway and brings me here.”
“Well don’t be so worried, yer gonna be jest fine. An’ Nat’an’s naught gonna kill ya.” Pickles realized he was out of beer again, and didn’t feel like getting up to get more.. “Look, I’m jest gonna pass out now, okie?
“Okays. Night, Pickle.” Toki went to bed.
****
The next day, Toki went with them for his first real practice.
He’d restrung his guitar with Skwisgaar-approved strings, and had to admit that they did sound better than the kind he’d been using, at least at low volume through Murderface’s amp.
As soon as they started, Toki realized he’d been worried about the wrong band member. Nathan paid him no mind at all, but Skwisgaar was very quick to criticize.
“No, dat’s wrong! You ams doesing it all wrong! We’s starting over.”
Toki tried harder, but he just hadn’t had enough time to memorize everything yet. And improvising was not met with approval.
Even more nervous now, he tried even harder. Skwisgaar wasn’t even playing exactly what he’d been learning from, making it even more difficult to follow.
“What ams dis shit, I thoughts you coulds play! Starts over!”
Murderface gave Toki what was supposed to be a reassuring look, but it was clear that he didn’t dare say anything. He’d probably been through the same thing himself.
Toki said nothing, not wanting to risk making things worse. He tried to play it faster, play it like he thought he remembered it.
Skwisgaar just kept tearing into him.
Several restarts later, Pickles threw a drumstick at Skwisgaar, hitting him in the back of the head. “Skwisgaar, shut tha hell up! He’s naught gonna git it raight on tha first day! Ignore him and jest fuckin’ play!”
Skwisgaar sniffed disapprovingly, but finally quit stopping them.
They played through most of the songs, and Toki knew he was messing up on a lot of them. He’d get it eventually, he just needed more time, more practices.
It was Nathan who finally called a stop.
Nobody questioned him, they just turned their amps off.
Nathan went over an collapsed on one of the couches, resting. Toki looked at him curiously, singing wasn’t that hard of work, was it? Pickles was nearby, so he asked him. “Hey Pickle? Is Nathan okays?”
“Yeah he’s fine, he jest gets tired sahmtimes, needs a little rest. We’re all used ta it, so don’t let it worry ya.”
And sure enough, pretty soon Nathan was sitting up and looking mostly normal.
They all helped themselves to the seemingly ever-present beer supply.
Nathan had an announcement. “We’re getting new photos, and we have to do a press conference. And this time, we’re ALL wearing black!”
“Pfft, all buts me.”
“Uh-uh, you too! Go out and buy a fucking black shirt for this, I don’t give a shit what you wear the rest of the time.”
“But Nathans-“
“I. Don’t. Care. You’re doing it! Besides, I know you’ve worn it in other bands, it won’t fucking kill you. Toki, do you have a decent black shirt?”
“Nots really, they’s all old.”
“Fine. Skwisgaar, take him with you when you go shopping, both of you get black shirts. And jeans too, if you don’t have them.”
Toki didn’t have a problem with wearing all black, but was wondering how he would afford to buy anything.
Skwisgaar was pouting, but Nathan wasn’t done. He pointed at Toki. “And shave! Corpse paint looks like shit over facial hair, that’s why we don’t have any.”
He did have a problem with that. “But Pickle said-“
“SHAVE!”
Well... he could always grow it back. He wasn’t about to get kicked out of this band for something as stupid as not shaving. He nodded.
They went home, Skwisgaar still clearly pissed off but unwilling to challenge Nathan. He took his shower and went straight to their room.
Nathan retreated to his side of the house, and Murderface went to take a shower.
Pickles lit a joint, lounging on the couch. “So yer gonna shave.” It wasn’t a question.
“I guess so. I gots no choice, does I?”
“Nah, ya rally don’t. Hey, I wonder how many rooms we’re gonna git after the con’frence?”
That didn’t make sense. “Rooms?”
Pickles took a moment to reply, he’d just taken a big hit. Finally, he exhaled. “Yep. We git rooms an’ chicks, and have an orgy. Hey, yer naught a virgin, are ya?”
“Noes.” Toki wasn’t sure he wanted to be in an orgy though. “We can’ts affords more than one rooms?”
“It’s jest more fun ta share. Ya know... well maybe ya don’t. Look, we can’t bring chicks here, so we gotta make up fer it when we can.”
Murderface was done with the bathroom, so Toki escaped to take his shower. If he was going to be required to fuck in front of them for some reason, it was good to be warned. Maybe.
While he was in the bathroom... As much as he hated to do it, Toki shaved.
He made a face at himself in the mirror, he looked like a little kid again. Well not really, not his body. He’d filled out over the years, still skinny but not scrawny.
Oh well, it was done. At least he would finally get to wear corpse paint, that was something to look forward to. Would they help him put it on, or was he going to just have to hope he got it right?
It was all too much to think about, so Toki took his shower and went to bed. Tomorrow he had to go shopping with Skwisgaar.
****
Nothing was said about shopping in the morning, although Pickles did comment on his new lack of facial hair. Maybe they’d forgotten about it?
But after a while, Nathan dropped some wadded up bills and a set of keys in Skwisgaar’s lap. “You can’t use your card, so go someplace cheap. You know, like Wal-mart or something.”
“Pfft, Wals-mart.” He made no move to get up.
“Stalling’s not going to change my mind, get your asses up and go!”
Toki jumped up, Skwisgaar got up much more slowly. “Fines. Comes on Toki, we goes in the disguises closet.”
It turned out to be a large closet near the front door. Skwisgaar pulled off his shirt and grabbed one from a hanger, putting it on and buttoning it up. He got a hair band off the shelf and pulled his hair back, then put on some yellow-tinted glasses. “What ams you waitings for, change.”
Toki took off his shirt and pulled the first one he’d grabbed over his head. It was a little tight, so it probably belonged to Pickles. He noticed Skwisgaar looking at him funny.
“You ams not a little as you looks. Puts yous hairs back, and gets a hat or someting.”
He wasn't sure about this shirt. “Maybes I should changes?” Skwisgaar shook his head, so Toki finished his disguise and they went out to the car.
Skwisgaar wasn’t the best driver, but he got them there alive. Toki went to open his door, but Skwisgaar stopped him. “You gots to remembers to be callings me Frank while we ams in dere, okays? And I guess we needs a name for yous too...”
“Pickle and Moiderface names me Jack.”
“Oh okays, dat’s easy, I likes it. Let’s be getting dis overs with now.”
Together, they went into Wal-mart. It was fine with Toki, he’d shopped here before, but Skwisgaar seemed annoyed by it.
Toki led the way, since Skwisgaar seemed unsure where to start. Skwisgaar would probably want the same style he usually wore, and it was likely that the only plain shirts would be in that same section.
“Uh, Jack? Why ams we in de underwears section?”
Instead of answering, he grabbed a pack of what was probably the right size and handed it over. While Skwisgaar was inspecting the shirts, Toki found some a pack for himself. Now they just needed jeans, he only had blue and Skwisgaar owned mostly white.
They were stacked by size, making it easy. “Just finds yous size, Skw- Frank.” He’d almost messed up. “Or tries them on, if you doesn’ts know.” He found himself a pair, he had some in this brand so he knew they’d fit.
Skwisgaar seemed clueless, so Toki took a guess and picked a couple for him to try, shoving him toward the conveniently close dressing rooms.
He waited, but Skwisgaar didn’t come out to show him.
When he did come out though, he was carrying the pair that had fit him, laving the others for the store people to deal with.
They checked out unrecognized and headed back home, Skwisgaar still driving badly.
Corpse Painted