INCEPTION.
EVERY SUMMER I THINK ABOUT THIS TIME WHEN I WAS DATING A GUY WHO LIVED IN TORONTO AND I DIDN'T YET SO IT WAS A LONG-ISH DISTANCE THING WHERE I WOULD TAKE THE BUS AND VISIT HIM. WE DATED THREE MONTHS BUT IT SOMEHOW FELT LIKE THREE YEARS, I GUESS BECAUSE EVERYTHING GETS SO INTENSE SO FAST WITH DISTANCE.
BUT ONE DAY HE TEXTED ME ON MY FLIP PHONE AND SAID, "We need to talk."
AND I KNEW IT WAS BREAK UP TIME BECAUSE IT HAD BEEN FOR A FEW WEEKS, AND WE BOTH KNEW IT SO I WAS LIKE, WELP, OKAY I GUESS WE SHOULD HAVE THIS CONVERSATION IN PERSON SO I BETTER GET ON THE HOT SWEATY BUS IN JUNE AND DO THIS.
I GOT THERE AND HAD TO WAIT FOR HIM TO FINISH HIS WORK SHIFT AT A SANDWICH SHOP DOWNTOWN AND I WAS WEARING HEELS FOR SOME REASON EVEN THOUGH IT WAS SO HOT/MUGGY. I LIVE HERE NOW AND WOULD ABSOLUTELY NEVER. WE DECIDED TO GO SIT IN THIS PARK ON A BENCH AND TALK AND I REMEMBER THINKING EVEN BEFORE EITHER OF US OPENED OUR MOUTHS THAT THIS WAS NOT WORTH THE TRIP I MADE OR THE SCHLEPPIN' AROUND DOWNTOWN IN HEELS, LIKE THIS SUMMERTIME DALLIANCE EASILY DESERVED A SOLEMN PHONE CALL AND NOTHING MORE.
HE LAUNCHED INTO HIS SPEECH AND ABOUT TWO MINUTES IN BEGAN TO COMPARE OUR DWINDLING RELATIONSHIP TO THE MOVIE INCEPTION STARRING LEONARDO DICAPRIO AND JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT WHICH HAD JUST COME OUT. HE SAW IT IN THEATRES THREE TIMES AND COULDN'T STOP TALKING ABOUT HOW MUCH HE LOVED IT AND THEN CONVENIENTLY FOUND A WAY TO SHOEHORN IT INTO OUR BREAK UP.
I just remember him saying, "You know, it's like Inception...."
BUT HERE'S THE THING, I WAS SO DAMN HOT AND SWEATY OUT THERE ON THAT BENCH THAT I COULDN'T EVEN BE BOTHERED TO ARGUE OR ASK WHAT HE WAS ON ABOUT.
I WAS LIKE, "Yeah no totally - it's like Inception. I'm glad you said something. If you hadn't brought it up, I would have."
AFTERWARDS I DIDN'T REALLY SAY MUCH AND HE WAS LIKE "Wow, you're being so calm and cool about this!" AND I WAS LIKE, THAT'S BECAUSE I'M LITERALLY MELTING INTO THE GROUND BENEATH US AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, I WANNA GO HOME.
YEARS LATER I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HE MEANT BY ANY OF IT. I DOUBT HE DOES EITHER. MAYBE SOMETIMES YOU JUST SAY THINGS TO SEE WHAT YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH WHEN IT'S A BILLION DEGREES OUTSIDE. I HOPE THE NEXT GIRL HE DUMPED BY SAYING "It's like Mrs. Doubtfire...."