HALP HALP HALP HALP

[roflolmaomg]

I NEED SUGGESTIONS FOR REALLY, REALLY LAME MARY-SUEISH NAMES B/C I LIKE MAKING ARTHUR'S LIFE HELL, ESPECIALLY AT SUMMER CAMPS.

PLUS, YOU GUYS ARE THE ONLY ONES I TRUST ENOUGH TO COME UP WITH WAYS TO TORTURE THE IDIOT PRINCE.

Comments

[meritjubet]

LADY LE'JET. PRINCESS PRIMROSE MARIGOLD FLEUR JASMINE DELPHINE. SASKIA SUNFLARE. OH! MOONDRAGON BLOODJEWEL.

[roflolmaomg]

....HAVE YOU DONE THIS BEFORE.

[meritjubet]

OH YOU! IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE TO AVOID MARY SUES WHEN ONE BROWSED THE HP SECTION OF FF.N. I STILL HAVE THE SCARS.

[roflolmaomg]

MY GOODNESS, I KNOW. HP FANDOM IS A SCARY, SCARY PLACE, WHAT WITH ALL OF THE REDDISH-BROWNISH-BLONDISH-SILVER HAIRED, BLUEISH-GREENISH-AMETHYST-GRAYISH-HONEY EYES AND THE SOFT-BUT-FIRM, SKINNY-BUT-MUSCLED, DELICATE-BUT-STURDY BODIED LONG-LOST-TWINS OF DRACO/HARRY/VOLDEMORT/REMUS/SIRIUS WHOM EVERYONE FALLS IN LOVE WITH BECAUSE OF THEIR UBER NICENESS AND ALL THE GURLZ R JELUZ OF HER SKILLZ AND SUPERLOVELOVEMAGIC AND

OH GOD

THE NIGHTMARES.

[meritjubet]

OH GOD. I'M HAVING FLASHBACKS :/ AND DON'T YOU FORGET, THEY ARE THE ONES WHO ARE DESTINED TO SAVE THE WORLD FROM VOLDEMORT. EVEN IF THEY ARE HIS LONG LOST DAUGHTER. WHO WAS SECRETLY RAISED BY REMUS AND SNAPE. NOW YOU'RE STUDYING AT HOGWARTS. AS AN AMERICAN EXCHANGE STUDENT. AND BOTH DRACO AND HARRY HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH YOU. PLUS SIRIUS. WHO IS ALIVE!! AND ALL THE GIRLS ARE JEALOUS OF YOU. BECAUSE YOU'RE PERFECT. BUT YOU CAN'T BEING THE QUEEN OF THE UNICORNS.

[roflolmaomg]

AND EVEN THOUGH BEING QUEEN OF THE UNICORNS REQUIRES ABSOLUTE PURITY

THAT HOLDS NOTHING OVER THE FACT THAT UPON SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH DRACO/HARRY/EVERYBODY, YOU ARE A SEXUAL DEVIANT WHO CAN BRING YOUR LOVER OFF WITH ONE TOUCH, YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHERE AND WHAT TO DO AND IT WILL NEVER BE AWKWARD BECAUSE YOU ARE FUCKING QUEEN.

AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL THOSE GIRLS ARE JUST HATERS, AND YOUR BOYS TAKE YOUR SIDE EVEN THOUGH THEY'VE BEEN FRIENDS WITH THOSE GIRLS SINCE THEY GOT TO HOGWARTS

THEY JUST LOVE YOUR ADORABLE LITTLE AMERICAN ACCENT, YOU'RE SO CUTE AND DIFFERENT AND OMG CREAM MY PANTS CUTE.

[meritjubet]

OH YEAH. INNOCENT AS DRIVEN SNOW AND YET CAN KISS WITH BLINDING PASSION, FIREY KISSES THAT LEAD TO VOLCANIC ERUPTIONS AND BLINDING LIGHTS. BUT NO ERECTIONS. UNLESS THIS IS A REALLY BAD LEMON.

SUCH HAT0RS! BUT YOU'LL EVENTUALLY WIN THEM OVER TO YOUR SIDE WHEN YOU SAVE THEM FROM BEING RAPED BY BELLATRIX. OR WHEN YOU HELP HERMIONE WITH HER HOMEWORK. COS YOU'RE JUST THAT SMART.

... AND I'M GOING TO ASSUME THAT YOU WERE ALSO SCARRED BY THIS HORRIFIC PERIOD IN HP FANDOM'S HISTORY? THERE THERE, I'M SURE THERE IS A SUPPORT GROUP OUT THERE.

[roflolmaomg]

NOT TO MENTION, MY SISTER WROTE HERSELF INTO JUST ABOUT EVERY STORY SHE EVER WROTE WHEN SHE WAS YOUNGER. I WANTED TO HANG MYSELF.

OH GOD I CAN'T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME SOMETHING WAS REFERRED TO AS 'LEMON.' I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND THE REFERENCE, AND IT'S LIKE SIX YEARS LATER.

[meritjubet]

...! I'M SO SORRY. I DIDN'T KNOW T______T

YEAH, YEAH I'M AN OLD FANDOM H0R. STOP POINTING THAT OUT! LEMON IS EXPLICIT SEX SCENES. LIME WAS MORE IMPLIED SEX SCENES.

AREN'T YOU GLAD THAT THE MERLIN FANDOM IS MAINLY FILLED WITH SLASH DEVIANTS? XD

[roflolmaomg]

SO, SO, SO GLAD. BUT IT'S MOSTLY BECAUSE NONE OF THE HET PAIRINGS MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL.

EXCEPT FOR GWEN/LANCELOT BUT WHO GIVES A SHIT.

DUDE, I'M SUCH AN OLD FANDOM H0R, TOO. I MEAN, I READ THINGS LIKE GUNDAM WING AND SAILOR MOON AND DARE I SAY IT, YU YU HAKUSHO.

BUT OMG, I STILL HAVE A MASSIVE CRUSH ON YOKOKURAMA. SOOOO HARD.

[meritjubet]

HET CAN LOOK VERY NICE IN THREESOMES THOUGH.

HEY, I STILL WRITE THINGS FOR GW. AND HAVE GW ICONS. THOUGH I'VE NEVER SEEN YU YU HAKUSHO TO MY ETERNAL SHAME. TO BEING OLD AND CROTCHETY LADIES OF FANDOM!

I WOULD PROBABLY UNDERSTAND IF I KNEW THE REFERENCE *FAILS*

[roflolmaomg]

IT'S ALL RIGHT, DARLING, YOU HAVEN'T BEEN MISSING OUT ON ALL THAT MUCH. <3

ALSO I WILL BREAK SOMETHING LAUGHING IF I'VE READ ONE OF YOUR FICS AND DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS YOURS.

I MEAN THAT IN A GOOD WAY.

[meritjubet]

*RELIEVED*

COOLNESS. NO, I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND. MOST OF MY FICS...ARE LESS THAN FABULOUS. BUT FANFIC WRITING HAS ALWAYS BEEN ABOUT THE FUN FOR ME. WHICH IS WHY I HATED HOW UNIVERSITY SUCKED THE CREATIVE URGES OUT OF ME THIS YEAR. BAH.

[roflolmaomg]

OH I KNOW, ONCE YOU START BEING FORCED TO WRITE FOR UNINTERESTING THINGS, YOU SORT OF LOSE CREATIVITY AND INTEREST FOR THE... INTERSTING. BITS. LIKE PORN, Y/Y.

BUT PROPS FOR BEING LIKE ONE OF THE FEW WRITERS THESE DAYS WHO DOESN'T WRITE SIMPLY WHAT THE FANDOM WANTS. WOO!

[meritjubet]

Y! THE THEORY OF LAW IS VERY DRAINING AND THEN WAS NOTHING LEFT FOR PORN. WHAT A SAD DAY THAT WAS.

YOU'RE PROBABLY OVERESTIMATING ME, BUT THANKS. THE FIC I'VE WRITTEN LATELY HAS MOSTLY BEEN WRITTEN IN BETWEEN IM SESSIONS. BOUT PORN AND SUCH. SO... ;)

[roflolmaomg]

\O/ THERE ARE ALWAYS EXCEPTIONS ALLOWED FOR PORN, BBY.