Day 3 - On the Way to The Friendly Arm Inn (or: We're Already There)
Later...Evening
Man, I'm so tired...Imoen and I didn't stop, like, until we got here to The Friendly Arm Inn. Lots happened on the way though...sorta. First, as we were walking along, we met some weird old guy all dressed in red. What in the nine hells he was doing in bright red in the middle of nowhere, I dunno, but he was pretty old, so, like, maybe he was...what's the word Imoen told me...sextile? No...um...servile? Um no...aw, now I'm all confused. Sort of like Phlydia - always forgetting things and saying and doing really stupid stuff. So, like, this old dude in red came up to us and started babbling and talking all funny. I caught the words "desperate" and "deranged". Imoen ended up answering 'cuz I couldn't understand a friggin' word he said, old fart. Imoen later told me he was just wondering why we were wandering around. Deranged, eh? well, he was a fine one to talk. Anyway, Imoen asked for directions to The Friendly Arm Inn and then after he told us, he hobbled off. Thank the gods that was quick. Mind you, since he was pretty sextile, I told Imoen maybe, like, we should, you know, like, take his directions with a grain of salt.
So, it was broad daylight, sun was out, birds were singing, gibberlings came at us and a few "farts". Oh, Imoen says they're called xvarts, but they were so easy to get rid of, like a good fart, so I decided I wanted to call them that. But yeah, a few "farts" came at us. Y'know, when you stick 'em with a sword, they make this squelching noise and same with the one I hit with my flail, shattered his head like when you step on snail. (Oh, look, poetry!) They alo make this nose when they're dying, like, um...like a...well, like a "fart" dying. So, anyway, some gibbelings also came at us, made gibblets outa them...heh, my own joke. Actually came up with that one by myself. Nyah, Imoen, I am too witty! Thing is, stupid things bleed when you stick 'em or smash 'em and that stuff gets all over the place. It's gonna be a bitch to get all this blood outta my armour.
So, Imoen and I were, like, y'know, going along, y'know, sun was out, birds were singing. I like birds, they're cool. I like bunnies and squirrels too, but don't tell nobody, 'kay? I mean, it'll ruin my rep for being a tough, kickass elf. Well, actually, everyone knows I like bunnies and squirrels, oh, and hamsters. Especially hamsters, but just don't spread the word...Hey, waitaminnit! This is a friggin' journal! How's it gonna tell anyone anything? I'll just have to, like, hide it really well when I'm not writing in it.
So, as Imoen and I were, like, walking along, this stupid human guy who called himself Aoln told us not to make so much noise 'cuz there were so many nasties around. Like, HELLO! I'm and ELF! Imoen was makin' all the noise anyway. She walks so loud, I can hear her a mile off. She should lose some weight (she hit me when I told her that). SHE said if I didn't talk so damn much we might be able to not get heard by anyone. So, anyway, Aoln told us about monsters. I said "Bring 'em on!" He was a big weenie. Made some excuse about getting away, y'know, so Imoen and I kept on going in the opposite direction. We did find a few place markers that told us we were going in the right direction, so I gather, like, the old red servile dude wasn't so cracked after all.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot, there was a huge Ogre thingy that attacked us. He was pretty strong and, like, after whacking me once I just up and ran. Thank the gods Imoen had some sort of wand on her so she could keep, you know, sending bolts at him, or something. So I kept running and drank a potion to heal up, and then he just like, kept following me and Imoen kept firing stuff at him, and lobbed a few arrows at him too...soon he was too weak to follow so I went and finished him off. Good tactic we had going there, although Imoen says I'm just a big chicken. She should try getting whacked over the head with an ogre's spikey stick. And it was too strategy. I figured the ogre would chase me and not notice Imoen, she's so puny. So it was too me being smart, I don't, like, care what Imoen thinks.
We got stuff from the thing anyway. It had a lot of belts.
Nothin' else happened until we got to The Friendly Arm Inn. It was night already when we finally arrived and the guards told us we better follow the "rules", or else. I asked what rules and he just said no fighting. 'Kay, not here to fight, anyway. I told him so. So, we went up to the Inn and, like, some guy came up to me and I thought maybe he was, like, you know, Khalid or something, so I told him my name and the stupid bastard attacked me! Just like that! Friggin' mages. Told me his name was Trash...or was it Tarnish? No...oh yeah, it was Tarnesh! That was it. Yeah! Well, I didn't wanna fight, 'cuz, y'know, the rules and all, but the jerk lobs a magic missile at me so I clocked him one, right across the chops, with my flail. Imoen pulled out the wand and nearly fell over when the magic missile came out of it, but she got him. Next thing you know, there're guards EVERYWHERE! I pointed at Trash and hollered "HE STARTED IT!!" so the guards would know, like, y'know, that it wasn't me who did. What is it with mages, anyway? They think they can do whatever the hells they want!
Anyway, I killed him and took his stuff - sold it all too. That'll learn him! Yeah, I like my flail. Besides, the bastard bled all over me. It's gonna be a bitch getting my armour clean. There was a note on him too. Imoen laughed when she read it. Told me there was a price on my head. I asked her where, I've never seen one anywhere on my head. She made fun of me, then said Trashy was a bounty hunter and if he'd killed me, he would get, y'know, like, paid for it. I asked her how much; she told me 100 gold pieces. That's IT?! Excuse me, but I'm worth way more than that! I'm insulted! Bet it goes up after this.
So, we went into the inn...I like inns. All those busty barmaids. Yeah, sure most of 'em are human, but what the hells! A few ales and they can be ogres for all I care, as long as I'm gettin' some. So, I was checkin' out this cute barmaid and some bozo tried to cramp my warrior style by coming over and bugging me about some stuff about the roads and bandwits or something. Yeah, Imoen took care of him. Said his name was, like, Joky or Jopi or whatever, and he told her bandits now control the roads and, like, they were stealing iron and stuff. Yeah, whatever. The barmaid disappeared. DAMN!
Then I spied this really hot elf chick and decided to check her out. Thing is, she was with this wimpy looking elf dude, but not as good-looking as me so I went over and what do you know! It's Jaheira and the wimpy elf is Khalid! Gorion's friends! Too bad Jaheira is such a sour puss. She's got a great pair of hooters.
Anyway, Jaheira and Khalid want to travel with us, go south they say. Sure, why not? Gorion wanted me to find them, so sure. I don't care now anyway. I got me a beer, and I got me a babaroonie barmaid and now I'm off to PAR-TAY before I get too tired and actually want to go to sleep.
Wonder if the barmaid wears panties?
Man, I'm so tired...Imoen and I didn't stop, like, until we got here to The Friendly Arm Inn. Lots happened on the way though...sorta. First, as we were walking along, we met some weird old guy all dressed in red. What in the nine hells he was doing in bright red in the middle of nowhere, I dunno, but he was pretty old, so, like, maybe he was...what's the word Imoen told me...sextile? No...um...servile? Um no...aw, now I'm all confused. Sort of like Phlydia - always forgetting things and saying and doing really stupid stuff. So, like, this old dude in red came up to us and started babbling and talking all funny. I caught the words "desperate" and "deranged". Imoen ended up answering 'cuz I couldn't understand a friggin' word he said, old fart. Imoen later told me he was just wondering why we were wandering around. Deranged, eh? well, he was a fine one to talk. Anyway, Imoen asked for directions to The Friendly Arm Inn and then after he told us, he hobbled off. Thank the gods that was quick. Mind you, since he was pretty sextile, I told Imoen maybe, like, we should, you know, like, take his directions with a grain of salt.
So, it was broad daylight, sun was out, birds were singing, gibberlings came at us and a few "farts". Oh, Imoen says they're called xvarts, but they were so easy to get rid of, like a good fart, so I decided I wanted to call them that. But yeah, a few "farts" came at us. Y'know, when you stick 'em with a sword, they make this squelching noise and same with the one I hit with my flail, shattered his head like when you step on snail. (Oh, look, poetry!) They alo make this nose when they're dying, like, um...like a...well, like a "fart" dying. So, anyway, some gibbelings also came at us, made gibblets outa them...heh, my own joke. Actually came up with that one by myself. Nyah, Imoen, I am too witty! Thing is, stupid things bleed when you stick 'em or smash 'em and that stuff gets all over the place. It's gonna be a bitch to get all this blood outta my armour.
So, Imoen and I were, like, y'know, going along, y'know, sun was out, birds were singing. I like birds, they're cool. I like bunnies and squirrels too, but don't tell nobody, 'kay? I mean, it'll ruin my rep for being a tough, kickass elf. Well, actually, everyone knows I like bunnies and squirrels, oh, and hamsters. Especially hamsters, but just don't spread the word...Hey, waitaminnit! This is a friggin' journal! How's it gonna tell anyone anything? I'll just have to, like, hide it really well when I'm not writing in it.
So, as Imoen and I were, like, walking along, this stupid human guy who called himself Aoln told us not to make so much noise 'cuz there were so many nasties around. Like, HELLO! I'm and ELF! Imoen was makin' all the noise anyway. She walks so loud, I can hear her a mile off. She should lose some weight (she hit me when I told her that). SHE said if I didn't talk so damn much we might be able to not get heard by anyone. So, anyway, Aoln told us about monsters. I said "Bring 'em on!" He was a big weenie. Made some excuse about getting away, y'know, so Imoen and I kept on going in the opposite direction. We did find a few place markers that told us we were going in the right direction, so I gather, like, the old red servile dude wasn't so cracked after all.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot, there was a huge Ogre thingy that attacked us. He was pretty strong and, like, after whacking me once I just up and ran. Thank the gods Imoen had some sort of wand on her so she could keep, you know, sending bolts at him, or something. So I kept running and drank a potion to heal up, and then he just like, kept following me and Imoen kept firing stuff at him, and lobbed a few arrows at him too...soon he was too weak to follow so I went and finished him off. Good tactic we had going there, although Imoen says I'm just a big chicken. She should try getting whacked over the head with an ogre's spikey stick. And it was too strategy. I figured the ogre would chase me and not notice Imoen, she's so puny. So it was too me being smart, I don't, like, care what Imoen thinks.
We got stuff from the thing anyway. It had a lot of belts.
Nothin' else happened until we got to The Friendly Arm Inn. It was night already when we finally arrived and the guards told us we better follow the "rules", or else. I asked what rules and he just said no fighting. 'Kay, not here to fight, anyway. I told him so. So, we went up to the Inn and, like, some guy came up to me and I thought maybe he was, like, you know, Khalid or something, so I told him my name and the stupid bastard attacked me! Just like that! Friggin' mages. Told me his name was Trash...or was it Tarnish? No...oh yeah, it was Tarnesh! That was it. Yeah! Well, I didn't wanna fight, 'cuz, y'know, the rules and all, but the jerk lobs a magic missile at me so I clocked him one, right across the chops, with my flail. Imoen pulled out the wand and nearly fell over when the magic missile came out of it, but she got him. Next thing you know, there're guards EVERYWHERE! I pointed at Trash and hollered "HE STARTED IT!!" so the guards would know, like, y'know, that it wasn't me who did. What is it with mages, anyway? They think they can do whatever the hells they want!
Anyway, I killed him and took his stuff - sold it all too. That'll learn him! Yeah, I like my flail. Besides, the bastard bled all over me. It's gonna be a bitch getting my armour clean. There was a note on him too. Imoen laughed when she read it. Told me there was a price on my head. I asked her where, I've never seen one anywhere on my head. She made fun of me, then said Trashy was a bounty hunter and if he'd killed me, he would get, y'know, like, paid for it. I asked her how much; she told me 100 gold pieces. That's IT?! Excuse me, but I'm worth way more than that! I'm insulted! Bet it goes up after this.
So, we went into the inn...I like inns. All those busty barmaids. Yeah, sure most of 'em are human, but what the hells! A few ales and they can be ogres for all I care, as long as I'm gettin' some. So, I was checkin' out this cute barmaid and some bozo tried to cramp my warrior style by coming over and bugging me about some stuff about the roads and bandwits or something. Yeah, Imoen took care of him. Said his name was, like, Joky or Jopi or whatever, and he told her bandits now control the roads and, like, they were stealing iron and stuff. Yeah, whatever. The barmaid disappeared. DAMN!
Then I spied this really hot elf chick and decided to check her out. Thing is, she was with this wimpy looking elf dude, but not as good-looking as me so I went over and what do you know! It's Jaheira and the wimpy elf is Khalid! Gorion's friends! Too bad Jaheira is such a sour puss. She's got a great pair of hooters.
Anyway, Jaheira and Khalid want to travel with us, go south they say. Sure, why not? Gorion wanted me to find them, so sure. I don't care now anyway. I got me a beer, and I got me a babaroonie barmaid and now I'm off to PAR-TAY before I get too tired and actually want to go to sleep.
Wonder if the barmaid wears panties?