i think i'm crazy.
i can not tell you how many times the thought, "why the fuck am i doing this?" goes through my head when i think about polo. when i'm laying there trying to sleep, when i'm studying, when i have to wake up for early morning practice, when i get home and collapse... BUT i never seem to think it during practice. i noticed that today. we can be doing 25 yard sprints on the 20 seconds and i'm thinking, "come on just a little bit faster, kick just a little bit harder..." but the thought, "what the fuck am i doing" never pops in my head. it's like when i get into my "polo groove" (gosh i'm cheesy) negativity seems to float away from my mind; which, if you know me, is a HUGE accomplishment. i'm the most negative and cynical person on the planet.
today i tried something, when we were squatting and i just wanted to let go off the bar and let the weights squish me into the floor, i started chanting "i love polo..." in my head and tried my very best to stay positive, to my utter surprise, it worked. :) going to have to try that again tomorrow morning.
also found out today there are 12 field traveling spots. we have 16 field players on the team. 9 of those spots are for sure filled. i'm one of the remaining six people stuck in limbo not knowing if i'm going to go or not. i'm betting it's a no, but it doesn't hurt to try right? so until then i'm just going to have to work my ass off.
i want this so badly, more than anything i've wanted in my life. i want to be the one who scores the winning goal with 5 seconds left. i want to be the one that shot blocks the tying goal. i want to be the girl that the girls on the other teams talk about before games, the girl they fear, the girl they don not want to guard.
today i tried something, when we were squatting and i just wanted to let go off the bar and let the weights squish me into the floor, i started chanting "i love polo..." in my head and tried my very best to stay positive, to my utter surprise, it worked. :) going to have to try that again tomorrow morning.
also found out today there are 12 field traveling spots. we have 16 field players on the team. 9 of those spots are for sure filled. i'm one of the remaining six people stuck in limbo not knowing if i'm going to go or not. i'm betting it's a no, but it doesn't hurt to try right? so until then i'm just going to have to work my ass off.
i want this so badly, more than anything i've wanted in my life. i want to be the one who scores the winning goal with 5 seconds left. i want to be the one that shot blocks the tying goal. i want to be the girl that the girls on the other teams talk about before games, the girl they fear, the girl they don not want to guard.