(no subject)
“Here D, take this…it’ll mellow you out a little bit” without thinking twice I popped it in my mouth and swallowed hard. I was pretty sure she had been cheating on me, all the whispers into the phone, the working late, showers as soon as she walked in the door. I sat back in the chair and lit a cigarette. Sitting there, I could hear everything. The chair was squeaking with my every move, my cigarette burning, my inhale, my exhale, my heartbeat in the background of it all. I sat, staring, listening to the same pattern of noises until my ashes hit my jeans and brought me from my daze. “You aight man?” “Yea…um…I’m good.”
Ring! Ring! “Hello?” “babe…you sleepin?” “uh yea I guess so, I think I dozed off for a second” “oh, well I just wanted to tell you I was on my way home from work.” Looking at the clock, I noticed I had done more than dozed off…hours had gone by. She walked through the door and me and Ant were sitting in the same spot we were 4 hours ago. “Drugs again D!? I thought we had overcome all of this, you are out of fuck ups you know!” I didn’t think she’d notice, and I didn’t care that she did…who was she to tell me that I was out of fuck-ups. She was fucking up ultimately and soon it’d all crumble anyway. There was so much in our relationship that was overlooked, so much unsaid. Why her and I had let this communication gap grow so much between the love, neither of us knew. We were spiraling downhill fast with no ambition to try. “Fuck you. Let’s go Ant”