Not that I think this will happen, but still, forewarned is forearmed. Or elbowed. I'm not sure.
DUDE OK
Dumbrellites will know of the creepiest pick-up line in the world ("Do you want some babies in you?"). So, the other day, Jim and I were sitting having lunch, and he brings up how drug store clerks are practically trained not to make any fuss about anything you are buying - like, they really aren't allowed to make fun of you for buying weird stuff because honestly, that's what the store is there for. This means there really isn't a huge need to hide stuff like tampons or Immodium amongst a bunch of other things, since the clerk's seen it all and everyone else buys potentially embarrassing stuff too. No more slipping the EPT in with some paper towels and a birthday card so maybe no one will notice. Of course, this could just be a lie we tell ourselves so we don't lie awake at night, paranoid about how the entire store is laughing at you.
Jim then laid the challenge down: What is the worst collection of items you could put on that checkout counter? The usual [food item] and enema came up, and a couple more ideas in I came up with the ultimate make-this-situation-awkward item: child aspirin.
Really, whose imagination wouldn't start going scary places seeing condoms, toilet paper, a pack of juice boxes, and some kid's aspirin trundling down the automatic belt? Any combination of anything, outside of maybe a rectal thermometer and/or cough syrup, with those pills is just weird.
(Yes, I am aware that you're not supposed to give straight-up aspirin to a kid because of that whole Reyes Syndrome thing. You get what I'm saying, I should hope.)
So, moral of the story is, if you're going to buy aspirin for children, just buy it alone. Don't use it as a decoy for what you really went to buy - that terrible romance novel, or the hemorrhoid pillow, or the suppositories you need for that procedure next week.
Dumbrellites will know of the creepiest pick-up line in the world ("Do you want some babies in you?"). So, the other day, Jim and I were sitting having lunch, and he brings up how drug store clerks are practically trained not to make any fuss about anything you are buying - like, they really aren't allowed to make fun of you for buying weird stuff because honestly, that's what the store is there for. This means there really isn't a huge need to hide stuff like tampons or Immodium amongst a bunch of other things, since the clerk's seen it all and everyone else buys potentially embarrassing stuff too. No more slipping the EPT in with some paper towels and a birthday card so maybe no one will notice. Of course, this could just be a lie we tell ourselves so we don't lie awake at night, paranoid about how the entire store is laughing at you.
Jim then laid the challenge down: What is the worst collection of items you could put on that checkout counter? The usual [food item] and enema came up, and a couple more ideas in I came up with the ultimate make-this-situation-awkward item: child aspirin.
Really, whose imagination wouldn't start going scary places seeing condoms, toilet paper, a pack of juice boxes, and some kid's aspirin trundling down the automatic belt? Any combination of anything, outside of maybe a rectal thermometer and/or cough syrup, with those pills is just weird.
(Yes, I am aware that you're not supposed to give straight-up aspirin to a kid because of that whole Reyes Syndrome thing. You get what I'm saying, I should hope.)
So, moral of the story is, if you're going to buy aspirin for children, just buy it alone. Don't use it as a decoy for what you really went to buy - that terrible romance novel, or the hemorrhoid pillow, or the suppositories you need for that procedure next week.