I Am Not The Dance Police
Funny Things students have said to me while substitute teaching.
On my girlfriend - Damn. She is fine!!
The fact that you just said fuck makes you so cool
You look like Mr. Tumnus from Narnia. (I really do)
On the word sex in the dictionary
Girl: This is a bad word
Me: It's not a bad word, it's means to be a boy or girl
Girl:That is not all that word means. It's how babies are made
Me: Go sit down.
Why are your ears so small?
On my ID Card - You used to be fatter. You look much better now.
You are a teacher. I thought you were a new student.
Mr. J....Mr Jones...Mr. J. Jones
Mr. Jonas Brothers
Mike Jones - every times I sub for Jr. High
I've never had a boy teacher. I'm afraid of you
Mr. Jones, she is just being this way because she thinks you're hot.
You're 22? My brother is older than you...he couldn't teach anything.
Wow look how fast he does timed math facts
Can you juggle? You can? Are you a clown?
On chaperoning Schnepf Farms
Me: I'll be in the trees making sure none of you are doing what I used to do in there
Them: What did you do in there Mr Jones...drugs? sex?
Me: Human sacrifice. stay out of the orchard
On thespian conference:
Me:Whats the theme this year?
Them: 60's
Me: When we went it was 80's 90's. My fiend and I went as Kriss Kross
Them: Blank stares
Me: You know the rap group that wore there clothes backwards and sang Jump Jump
Them: You're older than you look Mr. Jones
On my girlfriend - Damn. She is fine!!
The fact that you just said fuck makes you so cool
You look like Mr. Tumnus from Narnia. (I really do)
On the word sex in the dictionary
Girl: This is a bad word
Me: It's not a bad word, it's means to be a boy or girl
Girl:That is not all that word means. It's how babies are made
Me: Go sit down.
Why are your ears so small?
On my ID Card - You used to be fatter. You look much better now.
You are a teacher. I thought you were a new student.
Mr. J....Mr Jones...Mr. J. Jones
Mr. Jonas Brothers
Mike Jones - every times I sub for Jr. High
I've never had a boy teacher. I'm afraid of you
Mr. Jones, she is just being this way because she thinks you're hot.
You're 22? My brother is older than you...he couldn't teach anything.
Wow look how fast he does timed math facts
Can you juggle? You can? Are you a clown?
On chaperoning Schnepf Farms
Me: I'll be in the trees making sure none of you are doing what I used to do in there
Them: What did you do in there Mr Jones...drugs? sex?
Me: Human sacrifice. stay out of the orchard
On thespian conference:
Me:Whats the theme this year?
Them: 60's
Me: When we went it was 80's 90's. My fiend and I went as Kriss Kross
Them: Blank stares
Me: You know the rap group that wore there clothes backwards and sang Jump Jump
Them: You're older than you look Mr. Jones