Today Is A Dark Day For Australia...And Me
Today I just discovered that one of my favorite people in the world; a personal idol, inspirer, and I dare say hero passed away.
Steve 'The Crocodile Hunter' Irwin passed away t'day after being stung in the chest by a GODDAMN stingray. So as an act of mourning I am going to boycott all things stingray. That's right, the Corvette Stingray...CUT OFF! What are other things that are stingrays? Nothing, oh except fucking murderers. I hope everyone of those slimy sting ray bastards die. I don't care if the entire delicate nature of the oceans ecosystem is thrown into chaos. The fuckers are done.
But seriously folks. Who would have guessed that this pioneer, a man that taught us what a crocs cloaxa was, would buy the farm from a stingray to the chest. Random. He was supposed to die being bitten in the testicles by five rattlesnakes, have his arms ripped off by an angry gorilla, be beaten to death between to trees by a bull elephant, or as most of us expected, just found floating facedown in the croc exhibit one morning. But a goddamn stingray? It's insulting. That's like fighting in WWII only to die by slipping off the gangplank when you get back to port. Fucking ridiculous.
So to this giant of a man, I give my apologies. You were not born for this fate. Greater things were in store for you.
So for old times sake, lets take a minute to mourn the death of a hero. Crikey Steve...Crikey!
RIP Steve 'The Stingray Assassinated ex Crocodile Hunter' Irwin
Steve 'The Crocodile Hunter' Irwin passed away t'day after being stung in the chest by a GODDAMN stingray. So as an act of mourning I am going to boycott all things stingray. That's right, the Corvette Stingray...CUT OFF! What are other things that are stingrays? Nothing, oh except fucking murderers. I hope everyone of those slimy sting ray bastards die. I don't care if the entire delicate nature of the oceans ecosystem is thrown into chaos. The fuckers are done.
But seriously folks. Who would have guessed that this pioneer, a man that taught us what a crocs cloaxa was, would buy the farm from a stingray to the chest. Random. He was supposed to die being bitten in the testicles by five rattlesnakes, have his arms ripped off by an angry gorilla, be beaten to death between to trees by a bull elephant, or as most of us expected, just found floating facedown in the croc exhibit one morning. But a goddamn stingray? It's insulting. That's like fighting in WWII only to die by slipping off the gangplank when you get back to port. Fucking ridiculous.
So to this giant of a man, I give my apologies. You were not born for this fate. Greater things were in store for you.
So for old times sake, lets take a minute to mourn the death of a hero. Crikey Steve...Crikey!
RIP Steve 'The Stingray Assassinated ex Crocodile Hunter' Irwin