Bloods vs Crips
I almost got into a fight with a crippled kid today.
True story.
Lemme give a disclaimer here first. For those of y'all that don't know me very well, I'm not a mean person. Especially to most crippled people. However, this guy is an asshole. It started when he stalked my ex-girlfriend relentlessly, to the point where she gets the shakes just thinking about him. He is a manipulative liar, who uses his disability to get what he wants. ::End Disclaimer::
Ok, so I'm in Wilky, (By the way, his test today was a fucking joke. More on that later.), and we're all making jokes. Then, Hoenik (his name sucks too), comes, airport suitcase in big sweaty hand, waddling into the room. To accurately describe what this looks like, you'd have to imagine one of the thriller zombies, but a really awkward thriller zombie... with cerebral palsy. So, we're all talking... and taking a test, and he sits down and starts to talk, right next to me. Now, I've confronted this kid before about how I don't like him. He knows I hate him, and he knows what he's done. So, why the fuck would he sit right next to me?
I don't know either.
So, after I finish a sentence, I tell him to shut up, because I'm taking a test.
Wilikinson, being the complete doof (remember: doof = douchebag goof) that he is, believes me.
He says, "Ryan! What are you trying to do?"
Now, I pride myself on the fact that normally, whenever I'm trying to keep a straight face, I can achieve it, but this really set me off.
I bent my head down on the table and started laughing, quiet at first, but once I caught the eye's of Jimmy James, Cody, and Brett... I fuckin' blew up in laughter.
Ok, so apparently, Ryan didn't find this as funny as I did. He looks at me, (well kinda, he has a googely eye), and tells me to "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
Time stopped.
Everything went silent. Wilkinson looks up like, "Did that crippled kid just say Fuck?" and before anyone can say anything, I turn towards the Nima, the Arab kid in my class, and say:
"Woah Woah Woah, Ryan, you can't drop the F-bomb in here. Only Nima and his people drop bombs."
The class fucking essploded. 'Twas magnifique.
Ok, so back to the test:
I ask to start the test early, before everyone else, so I can remember the formulas I had just written down on my hand. Success. It totally works. I start the test, and it's freakin' easy. I mean, Paris Hilton with a couple a drinks in her easy. But, I guess to seal the deal, Wilkinson started to do a test review on the overhead, DURING MY TEST. I couldn't believe it. I was sitting here, being tested on material that he's teaching right in front of me.
Needless to say, I got a class high 97% on the test.
So, to recap:
1. I punk'd a kid with cerebral palsy
2. Wilkinson is crazy/beautiful
3. Paris Hilton is a slut.
4. The Chronicles of Riddick.
5. Nima and his people are terrorists.
6. The Lakers kick ass.
7. I can't wait for the beach (look for updates tomorrow)
I guess I feel good about myself, knowing that I put a disabled kid in his place.
-Josh
P.S. Here's some behind the scenes footage about how I came to a specific line in this entry. This insight is almost never seen, so enjoy!
NoYouAre4 [8:48 PM]: Quick name a slut at our school
NoYouAre4 [8:48 PM]: All I have so far is Tiara Gomez.
SalmonSkin [8:49 PM]: shit, all I know is the popular girls
SalmonSkin [8:49 PM]: I don't know which are sluts
NoYouAre4 [8:49 PM]: Mee-neevah
NoYouAre4 [8:50 PM]: There's gotta be one slut at our school
SalmonSkin [8:50 PM]: Adam
NoYouAre4 [8:50 PM]: ::sigh::
NoYouAre4 [8:50 PM]: I'll just use Paris Hilton.
True story.
Lemme give a disclaimer here first. For those of y'all that don't know me very well, I'm not a mean person. Especially to most crippled people. However, this guy is an asshole. It started when he stalked my ex-girlfriend relentlessly, to the point where she gets the shakes just thinking about him. He is a manipulative liar, who uses his disability to get what he wants. ::End Disclaimer::
Ok, so I'm in Wilky, (By the way, his test today was a fucking joke. More on that later.), and we're all making jokes. Then, Hoenik (his name sucks too), comes, airport suitcase in big sweaty hand, waddling into the room. To accurately describe what this looks like, you'd have to imagine one of the thriller zombies, but a really awkward thriller zombie... with cerebral palsy. So, we're all talking... and taking a test, and he sits down and starts to talk, right next to me. Now, I've confronted this kid before about how I don't like him. He knows I hate him, and he knows what he's done. So, why the fuck would he sit right next to me?
I don't know either.
So, after I finish a sentence, I tell him to shut up, because I'm taking a test.
Wilikinson, being the complete doof (remember: doof = douchebag goof) that he is, believes me.
He says, "Ryan! What are you trying to do?"
Now, I pride myself on the fact that normally, whenever I'm trying to keep a straight face, I can achieve it, but this really set me off.
I bent my head down on the table and started laughing, quiet at first, but once I caught the eye's of Jimmy James, Cody, and Brett... I fuckin' blew up in laughter.
Ok, so apparently, Ryan didn't find this as funny as I did. He looks at me, (well kinda, he has a googely eye), and tells me to "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
Time stopped.
Everything went silent. Wilkinson looks up like, "Did that crippled kid just say Fuck?" and before anyone can say anything, I turn towards the Nima, the Arab kid in my class, and say:
"Woah Woah Woah, Ryan, you can't drop the F-bomb in here. Only Nima and his people drop bombs."
The class fucking essploded. 'Twas magnifique.
Ok, so back to the test:
I ask to start the test early, before everyone else, so I can remember the formulas I had just written down on my hand. Success. It totally works. I start the test, and it's freakin' easy. I mean, Paris Hilton with a couple a drinks in her easy. But, I guess to seal the deal, Wilkinson started to do a test review on the overhead, DURING MY TEST. I couldn't believe it. I was sitting here, being tested on material that he's teaching right in front of me.
Needless to say, I got a class high 97% on the test.
So, to recap:
1. I punk'd a kid with cerebral palsy
2. Wilkinson is crazy/beautiful
3. Paris Hilton is a slut.
4. The Chronicles of Riddick.
5. Nima and his people are terrorists.
6. The Lakers kick ass.
7. I can't wait for the beach (look for updates tomorrow)
I guess I feel good about myself, knowing that I put a disabled kid in his place.
-Josh
P.S. Here's some behind the scenes footage about how I came to a specific line in this entry. This insight is almost never seen, so enjoy!
NoYouAre4 [8:48 PM]: Quick name a slut at our school
NoYouAre4 [8:48 PM]: All I have so far is Tiara Gomez.
SalmonSkin [8:49 PM]: shit, all I know is the popular girls
SalmonSkin [8:49 PM]: I don't know which are sluts
NoYouAre4 [8:49 PM]: Mee-neevah
NoYouAre4 [8:50 PM]: There's gotta be one slut at our school
SalmonSkin [8:50 PM]: Adam
NoYouAre4 [8:50 PM]: ::sigh::
NoYouAre4 [8:50 PM]: I'll just use Paris Hilton.