I see you have dumplings...I have dumplings too
I've deprived you all of classic Cap'n style excitement. So it's story time. Children, skooch closer. Don't make me remind you again about the skooching...
It all starts, as usual, with the kind of girl who you see and realize you just have to meet or at least try because certain opportunities can't be passed up with a clear conscience. So there she is, mystery girl, in the dining hall. Without any sort of friendly connections, to meet this one I'd have to muster up all my courage and confidence and approach her directly.
I'm not the type to act right away, as you all know, unless I've been drinking, so I sit and ponder my possibilities at the table while I waited for the food lines to go down. "Excuse me, you caught my attention from over there and I had to come meet you," or something along those lines. This time would require me to be cool and confident, or at least pretend to be, in order to give a good first impression. But enough of that, the lines were shorter and I went to get my food.
I pulled the usually deal and chose the shortest line, because the smaller the line, the sooner the mastication. That's what I always say.
And wham, I didn't even notice it, but she was right in front of me. As soon as I saw her I was in shock, and I watched as she walked up to the counter and ordered two orders of some kind of dumplings. Two orders = twelve dumplings. I was running out of time during which I could say something, but my head was cluttered. The only thing that came to my mind to say was:
"Wow, that's a lot of dumplings."
I must thank my reasoning for not abandoning me at the dumpling line, for I can only imagine the terribly awkward exchange which would have followed if I actually said that. All my pickup lines, my confidence, my smoothness...suddenly became "wow, that's a lot of dumplings."
When the going gets tough, the tough get going. And I get retarded.
Adam
Cap'n of the S.S. Awkwardly Obvious Conversation
It all starts, as usual, with the kind of girl who you see and realize you just have to meet or at least try because certain opportunities can't be passed up with a clear conscience. So there she is, mystery girl, in the dining hall. Without any sort of friendly connections, to meet this one I'd have to muster up all my courage and confidence and approach her directly.
I'm not the type to act right away, as you all know, unless I've been drinking, so I sit and ponder my possibilities at the table while I waited for the food lines to go down. "Excuse me, you caught my attention from over there and I had to come meet you," or something along those lines. This time would require me to be cool and confident, or at least pretend to be, in order to give a good first impression. But enough of that, the lines were shorter and I went to get my food.
I pulled the usually deal and chose the shortest line, because the smaller the line, the sooner the mastication. That's what I always say.
And wham, I didn't even notice it, but she was right in front of me. As soon as I saw her I was in shock, and I watched as she walked up to the counter and ordered two orders of some kind of dumplings. Two orders = twelve dumplings. I was running out of time during which I could say something, but my head was cluttered. The only thing that came to my mind to say was:
"Wow, that's a lot of dumplings."
I must thank my reasoning for not abandoning me at the dumpling line, for I can only imagine the terribly awkward exchange which would have followed if I actually said that. All my pickup lines, my confidence, my smoothness...suddenly became "wow, that's a lot of dumplings."
When the going gets tough, the tough get going. And I get retarded.
Adam
Cap'n of the S.S. Awkwardly Obvious Conversation