Macaroni Necklaces

[capn_redd]

Poppets, oh lovies, my darlings~

Uncle Redd has a PRESENT for you all!

[No matter where your character is standing/sitting/sleeping, they will find that a multi-colored necklace made of dental floss and macaroni has fallen from the ceiling over their heads. These necklaces will be impossible to remove for an hour, but are otherwise harmless

Comments

[kaikou_tide]

I did not sing that.

How did you get that recording.

What's going on?

[capn_redd]

Oh but you did.

A you that is not you. A not-you that is you that is not you that is him.

I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all ~together~

[Did that sound somewhat sinister?

Oh well!]

[kaikou_tide]

Is that other-- why is he singing that?

[capn_redd]

. . .

He likes to eat.

Eat.

Eat.

Eeples and and and baneenees.

Obviously this is something of great import, my shiny Glowworm.

[farfairersoul]

...This is the sound of my opinion of you dropping steadily, Captain.

[WHAT THE HELL.]

[capn_redd]

Has your sense of childlike awe and wonder been wrung entirely from your heart, Razer?

Goodness.

We should do something about that.

STAT!

[POOF! Razer has been aged down physically. He now looks exactly as he did at the age of nine. This will last until the singing macaroni necklace can be removed, one hour later.]

There now, is that better, duckie?

1/I DON'T EVEN KNOW

[farfairersoul]

2/IDEK

[farfairersoul]

[pimp_hat]

Well dis be nice and all but it don't really match my hat.

[Tug tug tug.]

...Da hell?

[Frantic tugging now.]

How da hell do jah get dis t'ing off!?

[capn_redd]

Now why in Redd's name would you want to take it off when it's only just made friends with your neck?

[Redd is shocked. Truly shocked.]

Doesn't it sing SWEETLY my pet?

[pimp_hat]

Oh it be a right fine melody dat be fuh sure.

[He's not being sarcastic at all. Nope. Not even a little. Why would you think that?]

But dis liddle necklace here be clashin' wid my style. So if jah don't mind, tell me how to take da damn t'ing off already.

[capn_redd]

Oh no, no, that won't do at all.

[Have a second necklace, Kevas. Obviously two are better than one. The necklaces are now singing in the round. It's really quite lovely.

The second necklace has been painted with zebra stripes.]

Is that better, my tusked-friend?

[onlyajackass]

Hey, you got some awesome taste, Captain.

[capn_redd]

[You have no idea how pleased Redd is to hear you say that!]

It's so NICE to hear that someone appreciates my particular sense of...of...style.

[A pair of shorts made entirely from uncooked penne pasta falls onto your head. They are very stylish of course, and very short.]

I'm rather fond of these. Aren't they smashing?

[onlyajackass]

...Smashing is one way to put it. And noodle-y is another! U cugi ayoh mdaci, kyyt muh! [I like your style, good sir!]

[Salute! God, this is so weird.]

[ecopiracy]

...if I had any doubts before, they are completely erased after this. You are insane.

[capn_redd]

Now now, where is your sense of fun? Your sense of appreciation for the simpler things in life?

[Perhaps you need a change of perspective as well, Phoenix.

POOF! Phoenix is now a seven year old little girl with shiny pigtails tied with polka-dot ribbons.]

Surely this will help you in your quest toward open-mindedness and a more carefree existence!

[ecopiracy]

[The first thing Phoenix notices, besides the sudden change in height, is actually not his(her?) gender. Nor is it her age.

It's her hair. Her hands immediately go to her head.]

What... What did you...?

[Her voice is high and shrill, with a hint of a rising growl. She notes it, will pay attention to it soon. But first things must come first.

PIGTAILS. OUT.]

[capn_redd]

[Sorry Phoenix, the pigtails just won't come free!]

Oh dear, I almost forgot...this will make it much better.

[Have a Skip-It. The necklace now sings the theme-song for the toy.]

Doesn't your soul feel lighter already?