NY, Palin, and Motion Pictures
So, what’s happened in the nearly one month since I last updated?
Well, I finally spent some proper time in NYC, something I’ve been wanting to do for literally twelve years, now. It was all awesome, seriously. The mad rush of people, the near-claustrophobic effect of being surrounded by endless, huge buildings, the sheer absurdity of the blitzkrieg of advertisements and neon in Times Square…none of this is sarcastic. I seriously thought it was all terrific. The only downsides were throwing my back on 7th Avenue so badly that I puked from the pain, and watching The Interpreter on the bus ride down.
Honestly, I think The Interpreter was worse, because the pain was so bad I actually don’t remember what it was like, anymore. There’s just a vague memory of not being able to think of anything but pain. But I remember all I saw of The Interpreter, from Sean Penn’s definition-of-phoning-it-in performance, to Nicole Kidman’s accent, which fluctuated between bad South African, Australian, and I think Martian or something. Ok, maybe not Martian, but seriously, it was bizarre. And it was vaguely racist, since it was about a conspiracy to murder some African Liberator-turned-Dictator, so it was one of those films where every single black person that had not been specifically identified as a good guy was a potential threat, and usually did turn out to be evil.
In other news, I wish John McCain had picked Mitt Romney to be his VP. I never thought I’d say/type/think/joke about that, but here we are. This is the world we live in. A world where Sarah Palin exists. Like nearly everyone else, I only didn’t fear her before because I was unaware of her existence. Mitt Romney would’ve sucked hardcore, but I think I’m genuinely afraid of the idea of President Palin. She’s just Goerge W. with a better command of the English language and a vagina. She may, in fact, be even more of a fanatic than him, since I feel like he was mostly doing lip service at least half of the time, whereas she seems to be full-bore crazy. Just look in those big, glassy eyes of hers.
You want to know what a hockey mom really is? It’s some cunt who forces her kids to do something they probably don’t want, either because it’s what all the other moms do or (more likely) because their alcoholic husbands are trying to vicariously live out their old, failed ambitions though their children, who will eventually crash and burn and either become wife-beating drunks like dad, or OD and die from a heroin addiction at 16 or so. That’s a goddamned hockey mom. Lots of fucking experience there. I want one of those cunts running this country. We’re out for some great times if McCain croaks of an aneurism three minutes into his Presidency, like we’re all expecting.
But to end on a positive note, wasn’t The Dark Knight awesome? And I’m so very happy that Get Smart did not destroy one of my childhood joys. Plus Pushing Daisies comes out on DVD and Blu-Ray today, and I fucking love me some Pushing Daisies. I challenge any of you to see that show and not have your heart melt at least a little. Seriously, you’re some kind of demented super-villain, otherwise.