hmm... i really hate myself today...
hmm... i'll start from the beginning... well two days ago i tried out for les miserables and found out i made it. i was really proud of myself and happy! but then the next day i didnt know if i actually wanted to go through with it cuz i didnt know anyone and i didnt think i was good enough. but then the lady at front said they really liked me and i realized that if i quit again that they may never pick me again so i decided to go through with it. and i didnt want to let down everyone who really wanted me in it. soo the next day i showed up to the callback and i was really nervous and didnt know what to expect. so i sat by myself in te back. i had to do a monologue (which i completely sucked at even tho ppl thought i was good i think they told me that to make me feel better cuz i knew i completely sucked.) but... then we had to the singing portion where we sang parts of three songs back to back and i did amazingly good! so i got called back to come in again today. i was an hour late to start off my stream of bad events. but they didnt really mind and so i was called up with a bunch of other girls to sing a cosette part. Omg... i sounded so airy and bad cuz i was losing my voice all day normally i would have done that flawlessly but no... F-ing ms.mesbah i hate u soooo much!!! u made me sing today and thats the whole reason y i sang sooo badly!!! RAR RAR RAR RAR!!! I HATE MORE THAN ANYTHING EVER KNOWN!!! o and to add to the traumatic experience... stupid kid i hate kody!!! he talked to me!! and he pet my dog! and what pissed me off most about our convo!! was when he talked to me the whole time in this stupid fake annoying british accent!!! i should have hit him right then and there but no i held back that urge!! ooo i hate a girl on the cast too... her name is kelly... ive come to realize there isnt a kelly i like in this world... i hate every kelly ive met... they r snobbish dreadful girls who think they r gods gift when they arent.... rar this girl is sooooo annoying i hate her soooo much!! and the magic circle ppl seem to like her sooo much cuz everytime a group of girls had to go up to sing she was up there. o but anyways we sang a piece of on my own and i think i did the best but i think i lost the part of eponine cuz during the last part they went over for marius and eponine i wasnt called up there... i dont think i got any lead... so ya i when i got home i cried cuz i got yelled at about how my grades r such a disappointment and how i wont get into college which made me feel terrible about myself... and ya so right now im a big disappoinment in life... i dont even know what to do anymore... like my theatre goal seems shot now... and my grades arent good to b anything else so ya now im stuck... i guess i could try being a model but i know there will just b some prettier girl there and im an easy replacement... so ya im really upset right now about the magic circle thingy... and ya i dont like my bio teacher cuz he just seems to want me to fail and ya... im just in such a bad mood i feel like my life is over... ToT i think i'll just lay in bed now and cry myself to sleep cuz thats the only thing left for me to do... but ya someone might want to hold me back next time i see kelly or kody cuz i swear one of those bitches is gonna die next time they come close to me... but who knows mayb i got a good part or something i really need something to cheer me up... i have to wait till friday...