[Private Journal Entry #11]
... I swear one day this card game is going to hell. I'll make it go to hell. I'll burn every single card in existence if it boils down to it. ._.
Stupid card games. Stupid practical. Stupid Mystical Space Typhoons destroying my Black Gardens.
.___________. ;;
Later~
Island blowing up or not, I really should learn how to keep my identity under wraps. Tsubasa found out ... in the most ... bizarre of ways. How does someone like Tsubasa not run away screaming bloody murder after being lashed by acid? I always thought of him as a screaming pansy who hid behind strong words, but for him to stand there, take my abuse, and then hug and kiss me - I admit that the kid has guts when it all comes down to it. I should reconsider his persona. He said he 'knew it was me' and that he loved me 'inside and out' and 'which ever form I was in' which I ... believe he fully means from the very nadir of his heart, but yet can't possibly take seriously at the same time. I doubt he would believe me if he found out all the things I did in the past - they weren't my fault - but in human standards, they're considered ... depraved? Wonder what he would think of Kleinman, huh. I blame Tsubasa's naïvety on Mon's influence and his Fantasy Heroes. Like I told him, he better start suitably judging what comes in his direction because m'god if that kid dies one day because of his over-trusting nature...
And y’know, it wasn't only Tsubasa who gotten hint of my true form, because I was joking around with Roara who ended up taking me seriously anyway. What a guy. He says he's 12 but really, what kind of 12-year-old has that kind of insight anyway? He asks me if I'm not human, and I give him a crazy look, though when I think about it, he might not be human himself. Spirit? Clone? Cyborg? Modified genetics to ensure immortality? The last is probable for he often did speak about immortality - also mentioned being over a million years old. I'll have to look into that. Immortality is ... desirable. It’s been a long time since I have last wanted to reach my final stage again, but like all other mortal beings, human or not, I age too. Mitsuki strives to be a lich, an eternal undead, and if I am to remain with him, immortality is a necessity to me.
... he loves me now. After so many months of disinterest and loathing, he has finally returned my feelings for the better. But a small thought in the back of my head keeps pestering me: do I need love? If not for reproduction, then for …? For…?
Perhaps, just to…live?
…
But Oukai-tousan would have approved. Happy birthday, he would have said, happy birthday.
Yours truly,
Sora~
Stupid card games. Stupid practical. Stupid Mystical Space Typhoons destroying my Black Gardens.
.___________. ;;
Later~
Island blowing up or not, I really should learn how to keep my identity under wraps. Tsubasa found out ... in the most ... bizarre of ways. How does someone like Tsubasa not run away screaming bloody murder after being lashed by acid? I always thought of him as a screaming pansy who hid behind strong words, but for him to stand there, take my abuse, and then hug and kiss me - I admit that the kid has guts when it all comes down to it. I should reconsider his persona. He said he 'knew it was me' and that he loved me 'inside and out' and 'which ever form I was in' which I ... believe he fully means from the very nadir of his heart, but yet can't possibly take seriously at the same time. I doubt he would believe me if he found out all the things I did in the past - they weren't my fault - but in human standards, they're considered ... depraved? Wonder what he would think of Kleinman, huh. I blame Tsubasa's naïvety on Mon's influence and his Fantasy Heroes. Like I told him, he better start suitably judging what comes in his direction because m'god if that kid dies one day because of his over-trusting nature...
And y’know, it wasn't only Tsubasa who gotten hint of my true form, because I was joking around with Roara who ended up taking me seriously anyway. What a guy. He says he's 12 but really, what kind of 12-year-old has that kind of insight anyway? He asks me if I'm not human, and I give him a crazy look, though when I think about it, he might not be human himself. Spirit? Clone? Cyborg? Modified genetics to ensure immortality? The last is probable for he often did speak about immortality - also mentioned being over a million years old. I'll have to look into that. Immortality is ... desirable. It’s been a long time since I have last wanted to reach my final stage again, but like all other mortal beings, human or not, I age too. Mitsuki strives to be a lich, an eternal undead, and if I am to remain with him, immortality is a necessity to me.
... he loves me now. After so many months of disinterest and loathing, he has finally returned my feelings for the better. But a small thought in the back of my head keeps pestering me: do I need love? If not for reproduction, then for …? For…?
Perhaps, just to…live?
…
But Oukai-tousan would have approved. Happy birthday, he would have said, happy birthday.
Yours truly,
Sora~