Cry baby cry
Sometimes I feel like I'm only excelling if I'm doing something self satisfying. Writing. Taking pictures. Reading a good book. I don't know. I don't do any of those things anymore. I merely exist on a daily basis and I know this isn't what my life is supposed to be. My life is more than a twenty minute drive from Mt. Zion to Noah's Ark. I need to learn to pay attention. I sit in class and breathe. I contribute nothing. I want to learn. I want an education. Maybe there are too many distractions. I need room to stretch and grow. I need to be pushed. I need to be forced. But I know I can only do these things for myself. I want my life to be an array of beautiful moments. Beautiful people. Beautiful emotions. I know shit storms are inevitable. But I'm tired of focusing on the negativity. I saw the most beautiful pink sun today. I know the same sun rises and falls everyday, but I feel like I'm experiencing something completely new every time I see it.
I have so much homework to do. I hate to admit that I'll be happy when summer is here so I can go out and party hardy. I also hate to admit that I kind of want to get drunk by myself, in my room, in a house full of people I love, and watch a good movie and cry, or draw stupid pictures and cry or listen to good music and really fucking cry.
I have so much homework to do. I hate to admit that I'll be happy when summer is here so I can go out and party hardy. I also hate to admit that I kind of want to get drunk by myself, in my room, in a house full of people I love, and watch a good movie and cry, or draw stupid pictures and cry or listen to good music and really fucking cry.
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