and the sun burst through the sky
So, it is sunset here in the desert, and I have duty tonight so I'll be spending the night at the BAS. Saw a few patients today, one with an STD (always interesting), and a few more with gastroenteritis...food poisoning.
I'm having some trouble at home. My Grandma is dying, my Dad is depressed, and my Mom is tripping. I just need some relief man, and it's pretty lame being 10,000 miles away when you're needed most at home. Got an email from my mom today, here's some excerpts:
"That's how they do it, they will fool you one of these times, and when you are thinking that you are just getting out to push some Iraqi's car out of the sand, you'll get kidnapped and beheaded."
"So far, you've been so lucky, and I know that you are sometimes thinking that it is the patriarchal blessing saying that he sees you coming home whole. But my concerns are that he could be misreading his insight. So please, give my concerns and requests some heavy consideration. I had felt some relief when you were assigned to a base with a reputation of being safer than others, but this is 24/7 anxiety and I just don't know how I can handle months of this."
"Worrying about you on those convoys and sleeping out there in the desert is so hard on me. I also worry that one of these times when you and your Marines are being good Samaritans, that you will walk into a well laid out trap and get ambushed or kidnapped."
What the crap man, I don't want to read that. I made up my mind along time ago that I'm coming home, and I'm not letting anyone stop me. But with that said, I'm not coming home with shame, and I'm not coming home with guilt for anything I did, have done, or didn't do. I'm letting the spirit guide me, and I haven't done anything for which I should be ashamed. It's not about me; it's about my Marines, and doing my job. I'm responsible for them, and I'm not going to lose any of them. They're like brothers to me, and we're all going home alive. I'm not going to dishonor myself, my platoon, my country, my family, or my God. Ah, I'm just frustrated.
I think I'm going to go watch wedding crashers or something, because I love that movie like a fat kid loves cake.
I need a change, something new.
<3be great.
I'm having some trouble at home. My Grandma is dying, my Dad is depressed, and my Mom is tripping. I just need some relief man, and it's pretty lame being 10,000 miles away when you're needed most at home. Got an email from my mom today, here's some excerpts:
"That's how they do it, they will fool you one of these times, and when you are thinking that you are just getting out to push some Iraqi's car out of the sand, you'll get kidnapped and beheaded."
"So far, you've been so lucky, and I know that you are sometimes thinking that it is the patriarchal blessing saying that he sees you coming home whole. But my concerns are that he could be misreading his insight. So please, give my concerns and requests some heavy consideration. I had felt some relief when you were assigned to a base with a reputation of being safer than others, but this is 24/7 anxiety and I just don't know how I can handle months of this."
"Worrying about you on those convoys and sleeping out there in the desert is so hard on me. I also worry that one of these times when you and your Marines are being good Samaritans, that you will walk into a well laid out trap and get ambushed or kidnapped."
What the crap man, I don't want to read that. I made up my mind along time ago that I'm coming home, and I'm not letting anyone stop me. But with that said, I'm not coming home with shame, and I'm not coming home with guilt for anything I did, have done, or didn't do. I'm letting the spirit guide me, and I haven't done anything for which I should be ashamed. It's not about me; it's about my Marines, and doing my job. I'm responsible for them, and I'm not going to lose any of them. They're like brothers to me, and we're all going home alive. I'm not going to dishonor myself, my platoon, my country, my family, or my God. Ah, I'm just frustrated.
I think I'm going to go watch wedding crashers or something, because I love that movie like a fat kid loves cake.
I need a change, something new.
<3be great.