Shitty week? I think so.
No...shitty doesn't even describe it. Sure, it was Homecoming, and I had a lot of fun, but this week as a whole really sucked. And I don't see better days in the near future. It's just...I'm sick of everything. I'm done with a lot of people right now...some people who just DON'T GET IT, and others who try too hard and look like a fool while doing it. So on top of rolling my ankle the other day, having my back hurt all week, plus a million other health-related problems I've been having, added to all of the emotional things that I've been dealing with concerning friends, family, and an extremely clueless person who keeps hurting me ALL THE TIME, I can't go on. I told Alicia last night that I was ready for life to be over. That's not meant in a suicidal way at all. I promise. It's just that everything really sucks, and I don't see any end in sight, plus I'm just bored with everything. I'm just kinda ready to move on. It's like "Okay, I've lived, now what?" And I really haven't lived. Why should a seventeen-year-old be thinking like that? It kind of scares me. I wish I could cry. I wish I could talk about things. I wish I was eighteen. I wish I was seeing a therapist. I wish I could be happy. But I'm not happy...and I haven't been in so long...since freshman year pretty much. Unbelievable as that sounds. Underneath all of the happy-go-lucky stupid Aaron hyperness, I'm miserable. How is that better than not being alive?