faint familiarity

[soldieringblue]

WHO: Kanaya and Soldier Blue
WHERE: Sunshiney streets
WHEN: 1/17, daytime, sunshine
WARNINGS: Fashion better than yours tbh
SUMMARY: This city's not big enough to make us all strangers
FORMAT: No

Comments

[tastesrainbows]

It was a bright day, and that was a rare thing to get in this season, so after she made home everyone else was on their way home safely, she decided to take a walk. Not the whole way, of course, as it would be ridiculous to walk all the way back to the heart of Manhattan from the Bronx. But she knew she tended to get cranky if she didn't get enough sun, and she didn't want to cause problems with everyone else, so she enjoyed the walk in pleasant stretches between skipping through her gates rather than going straight home.

Running into the crowds was always a conflicting prospect. She liked being among people and enjoyed the opportunity for interpersonal contact, but it was still something she was so unused to, especially in the numbers the City provided. Sometimes the sheer scale of it would flare up her anxiety, and she'd only start glowing brighter and not realize it until those she'd pass would start staring. She hated the staring, and it only made her brighter and more noticeable and more likely to be stared at, more likely to be given attention to, and everything would only get worse from there. Maybe this had been a bad idea. It would be easier to navigate with someone who at least wasn't a complete stranger, and not bringing Terezi along for this had perhaps been an oversight, but the girl just came back from the dead and all and Kanaya didn't want to completely smother her.

It was only as she'd been trying to calm herself down, opening her eyes again after taking a deep breath, trying not to glow so much, that she recognized a familiar face. He was maybe fifteen feet ahead and moving in the opposite direction, so she could probably gain his attention without bothering most of the surrounding pedestrians, so she gives him a wave.

"Oh, Soldier Blue! Do you, um, remember me perhaps?"

[soldieringblue]

Even with eyes ahead, Blue hadn't caught glimpse of her directly. He wasn't really looking, save to keep from bumping right into someone...his other sense was dominant in a crowd, especially with minds so free and unchecked. A fouler mood would've made it a migraine right away, but he had no energy to be angry. No one was at fault. Just that machine...

Like a light being turned on, his expression switched outright when acknowledgment pulled him right out of his daze. It only took a second of searching to pinpoint it - the voice helped with that. He stopped, and the surprise watered down to something less severe as realization settled in.

"Kanaya Maryam..." The girl who'd tried to help him on his long search. He remembered, of course...but only just then. He certainly hadn't expected to come across her.

[tastesrainbows]

She moved out of the path she'd mean moving in as to avoid getting carried away by the foot traffic, stopping in front of him. "I apologize if I'm distracting you from any especially important destination," she paused, glancing at his bag, "had you just visited the nourishment acquisition station?"

Someone behind her grumbled as they moved around her on the sidewalk, and she cast a glance toward them. "Oh, sorry." From then on, she shifted regularly to step out of the way of passersby.

[soldieringblue]

That was...a curious way to put it, he thought. He blinked, his mouth twitching a very faint smile, washed away with passers-by. Rather than force her to endure the brunt of traffic, Blue drifted toward the face of the closest building, encouraging her to do likewise with a small gesture.

Safe from the busier members of society, he revisited her oddly-put remark.

"You aren't interrupting at all," he assured with a vague nod. "And...yes. It's only a small errand."

[tastesrainbows]

She followed him over to the side, and it saved her the trouble of shifting uncomfortably. Or perhaps rid her of the opportunity? She wasn't really sure what to do with small talk in this instance, but there was one topic she had thought to broach, though she hopes it wouldn't be a misstep.

"I'd...heard it had been confirmed that your friends were more than likely submitted to an exportation. I'm sorry for it to result in that being the case."

[soldieringblue]

What there was of a smile watered away briefly, replaced by a somber and strained look. It, too, passed, leaving behind a placid, almost grim expression, where the sadness still remained in the wrinkles around his eyes. His head bowed just slightly, making a screen out of his bangs that did more to accentuate his mood than shield it.

"Their safety and happiness is what matters," he said, voice softening despite the crowds. "I at least know what waits for them there, and can believe they'll be well."

With the regretful feelings bearing down on him not utterly his own, he lifted his head, pushing a thin smile back on. It really wasn't right to saddle her with his misfortune, he knew. Common feelings made it all too easy to slip and share, being what he was and how he felt the world. But she was young and still much of an unknown; even fellow Mu didn't need to be weighted down by the Soldier's unhappiness.

"It meant a great deal to me that you would help me search," he said, and it was indeed very true. "That you would let me see the scene as you had seen it...I know how intrusive it is. That you would trust me to not harm you despite it is tremendous. You're a very kind-hearted person, Kanaya."

The hand not occupied by the bag settled on his breast to emphasize his earnest. "If ever there's a means to return what good you've done for me, you shouldn't hesitate to ask. I would be honored to help."

sorry this took so long! D:

[tastesrainbows]

Her glow waxes a little, and she purses her lips. Flattery is something she'll never be entirely used to, even after all the time she's spent in such a more accepting culture. She hadn't really done anything so far outside her nature, after all.

"Well, it was nothing so especially notable, I think.," she replied, eyes cast toward the ground. "I just...thought I might be capable of providing some help. I would imagine it to be difficult to lose so many you care for in so short a period, even when you have awareness that they will be returning to favorable circumstances." Especially given how rarely her own friends would be. "I only wish there were a greater quality of assistance I could have offered."

The matter of repayment was one she didn't have a response to, either. She hated the idea of being a bother to him, and wouldn't want to impose a favor, but glancing back at the crowd, the idea of having to navigate it only flared her glow further. Suddenly, a thought occurred to her that set it back down to a more subtle level.

"Perhaps you could accompany me as I continue my walk, if you don't mind? If the food must be submitted to refrigeration more immediately than that would allow, I'll understand."

counter apologies; had a long day

[soldieringblue]

Blue's hand dropped slowly to his side as he felt unease build from her, straightening and leaning back on a heel to offer up some leave for space without leaving altogether. Linked to the glow, it made for something odd but familiar to his senses. Almost like the flare Mu displayed when expressing the more extreme emotions out of impulse, but hers was hardly great distress.

To her decision, his head bowed once more in a slow nod, lifting his hand to gesture. "I don't mind following at all. Please lead the way."

[tastesrainbows]

And so she did, but not particularly quickly, making sure he could comfortably walk alongside. She didn't have any particular destination in mind, just home, eventually. She might end up bringing them along Fifth Avenue to look around the shops for inspiration.

But more immediately, she decided to settle her curiosity on a certain point, ad so she glanced back up at him. "On our previous encounter, I couldn't help but notice that you express some luminescence when you're in flight." She turned again, casting her gaze back up at the sun above them. "Do you think that quality is tied to the rays of the solar orb? Are you similarly fond of it?"

[soldieringblue]

Blue followed at almost half a pace, giving the girl control of their path. He paid little attention to their direction; anywhere they wound up going wasn't a challenge to navigate from. He could find his way by the landmarks of the air well enough.

The attention was on Kanaya, the lightening of mood and topic. His eyebrows lifted slightly, hidden by his bangs, at her words. Being so verbose and unusual in word choice was apparently a form of habit, rather than a formality. It made her stand out a bit more than the "luminescence."

"The glow is an expression of my power," he replied. "When I need to exert a great deal of it at once, there's sign of it showing from the outside, regardless of what I'm trying to do."

He tilted his head slightly at her. "Your own appears tied to your mood to some extent, from what little I've observed."

quietly lamenting the expiration of all my human icons

[tastesrainbows]

And one of the most effective ways to brighten her glow was to draw attention to its connection to her mood. She hated that aspect of it, having it broadcast everything she'd rather distract from, making her feel just as transparent as she'd probably been from the beginning. Probably her own fault for even broaching the subject.

"Yes, that is one unfortunate quality of it. I would suspect it to perhaps be an additional side effect of humanization, as it hadn't seemed to behave in that manner previously, though I hadn't acquired it long before my arrival on this timeline."

lj gave me the 12-day ultimatum earlier...BITTERSWEET

[soldieringblue]

He pondered her words for a moment. At first, he thought it hardly unfortunate at all, but considering her sensitivity to appearance and demeanor, it made sense. One more thing alerting to her mood, making her stand out...most likely the opposite of what she'd ever want.

"It could perhaps be something trainable," he suggested. "There might be a trick or technique to master which would keep it at bay if you wanted."

hank is already down to 15 ;~; kanaya's and vic's 30 should hopefully last to the end of the month

[tastesrainbows]

She frowned and knit her eyebrows together. "The most direct method by which to achieve such a thing would be not to feel at all. Which might at times be preferable."

She doesn't mean it, not really, or at least doesn't realize how little she'd enjoy that in comparison. All she knows now is that feelings in excess are a constant source of frustration.

"It's tied to my natural form, I think. When it erupts to a bright enough degree, I will typically resume that form. But even still, my glow remains unsteady in comparison to my native timeline."

and then we say farewell to lj..

[soldieringblue]

She might not have meant it, but her words did draw a faint frown out of Blue, forehead creasing only just so. It was a touchy thing to say, not feel at all, and preferable at that. No matter how overwhelmed he became in the City, the thought barely came to the forefront of his mind.

"There are ways to steady emotions," he said at length after mulling it over. "Meditations and ways to breathe and frame situations. There is something out there for you to find that wouldn't be so...extreme."

i am so antsy and anticipatory oh my gosh

[tastesrainbows]

That's the surprising thing about meeting so many adults here on Earth, the idea that someone understands how hard it can be because they have in fact been there. She's had so many things available for her to learn, so many people attempting to help her through her problems instead of the other way around.

It's astonishing, really, but not exactly easy to accept. When you've spent so long being the adult in your social circle, it's incredibly hard to accept being a kid again.

"Well, I try to control the rate at which I breathe, when such a maneuver seems feasible. The level of success, however, can be dubious at times.

someone needs to just move all my shit over there for me i am so tired forever aaaa

[soldieringblue]

"I would suppose so," Blue nodded, staring ahead and starting to scan over the heads of people passing near. "I don't believe there's a complete fix that's not so extreme...And I still have trouble refocusing when thoughts and emotions become too numerous or too loud. It's something that becomes easier to gauge and maintain over time, though..." He looked back over at her. "As much as learning about yourself teaches you to care for other aspects of yourself does."