Drown out the Damage [[Open Log]]

[ex_julianhe]

WHO: Julian Keller and...all of you guys!
WHERE: A City bar that's not too strict on its security policy. Or its over-21s policy.
WHEN: Evening and into the night, Wednesday, July 20th.
WARNINGS: Likely drunkenness, possible angst? Potential violence if someone irritates him.
SUMMARY: Ever since the trip to New Jersey, Julian's been doing a lot of

Comments

disapproving teacher face...

[in_likeflynn]

The bar was a good find. In a similar vein to Julian, Kurt had long developed a talent for finding acceptable bars that served acceptable beers and were accepting of odd individuals. Coincidentally, this was one of a few such bars in the City, almost completely free of folks side-eying and offering a small variety of foreign beers.

He stopped by some time after supper. Having admitted openly that he now thought often of the past, of home... Ach, well. He was homesick, and he ordered a bottle with a German label and sat down and remembered various nice things. There was the occasional foray into people-watching, and then...

And then he spotting a familiar face. Rather out-of-place for the setting.

He moved, taking the bottle with him and making his way back to Julian's corner and trying to look disapproving and non-threatening at the same time. "Mr. Keller, pray tell... What are you doing?"

oops. :D It's, um. Non-alcoholic beer?

[ex_julianhe]

Julian hadn't noticed Kurt coming close to him. Actually, he wasn't noticing much of anything. He was pretty much just staring into his drink and doing his best to look like he belonged here. Which, in his mind, he kind of did.

He looked up in complete surprise when he heard his name being spoken by a voice that was both very familiar and mildly worrying.

The X-Men had never actually caught him at this before. Apparently they were more savvy about it in the City. Well, that probably wasn't a good thing. He tried to school his expression into something resembling innocence, but then dropped it. Come on, he was caught. Wouldn't do any good to play innocent at this stage.

"Mr Wagner. Uh, hey." He sat up a little straighter. "Just, you know, shooting the breeze. Could ask you the same thing?"

No dice, kiddo.

[in_likeflynn]

"You could." Really, the reaction was amusing, and that probably showed the slightest bit in his expression. He made sure to keep the overall tone one of gentle authority, though. Kurt wasn't the best disciplinarian, but he was a great guilt-tripper. "The answer would be that I am a beer snob in my thirties, which makes it all perfectly legal. You, on the other hand... You might require a more verbose explanation."

It's for science?

[ex_julianhe]

The guilt trip was probably a harder thing to deal with than anger would have been. Julian was, after all, used to answering to Cyclops if anyone, or Emma Frost if she felt like it. And they were too busy for that these days, a thought that triggered resentment in him even though it meant he could get away with more. He wavered in what he would say, wavered in how he'd react. If Kurt had been angry with him he'd probably just have shot his mouth off like usual.

"Okay," he said slowly. "I had a lot on my mind and staying at home chewing it over only gets me so far. And okay. So maybe it's not exactly legal in the strictest sense but it's not like I'm hurting anyone."

He had no idea if that argument would fly at all. At the very least it was honest.

:|

[in_likeflynn]

"Not legal in the strictest sense, not hurting anyone... Ach. You poor embodiment of the rebellious teenager archetype. How I feel for you." Commentary full of obvious sarcasm, and Kurt even rolled his eyes in repeating the argument. While he could certainly be sympathetic to a troubled mind, often a possessor of such a thing himself, such excuses could not be so easily tolerated.

He did appreciate the honesty, though, did appreciate that Julian, who had a reputation for being a smartassed brat, hadn't fired off his mouth right away. Sighing, he slid into a chair and his posture relaxed.

"This is not a good coping mechanism to develop, Julian."

... ^-^

[ex_julianhe]

Julian had pretty much been preparing to shoot his mouth off because of the sarcasm, but was brought up short when Kurt sat beside him. That, like the guilt-tripping thing, was totally unexpected and completely unlike anything Cyclops would have done. Once again, he found himself unsure how to react. He didn't know if he was safe or not.

For the minute, he decided to take it at face value.

"It's not a 'coping mechanism'," he said, even though it was exactly that and he knew it. Admitting that would be admitting he had trouble coping with something, and he wouldn't do that. "It's just...blowing off steam." Yeah, he said that already. Damn it, why could he not find words to make this better? Because it isn't better, whispered a traitorous little voice at the back of his head. He ignored that. "And it's not like I'm the only one. Plenty of the X-Men do it."

[in_likeflynn]

"Ah, is that so?" His expression bloomed into a quick grin, and he took a good drink before leaning over, elbows propped on the table, the perfect stance for somebody eager to gossip. "And who might you be referring to, hm?"

He was sure there were few X-men that children might want to look to for mental health guidelines, but he'd point out exactly why if he had to.

[ex_julianhe]

Julian was feeling somewhat suspicious about how friendly Kurt was being about all this. He still half suspected he was going to get in trouble for it any second now, and it didn't help that he hadn't had a lot of one-on-one experience with what Nightcrawler was like as a personal authority.

"Plenty of them," he said, thinking that specifics were unlikely to be his friend here. "Besides, I'm better doing it here than at home by myself, right?"

[in_likeflynn]

"'Plenty of them.' I see." Kurt smirked, putting on a bit of a knowing expression. He had to estimate that Julian wasn't actually privy to such details, looking for excuses where there might not have been reasonable ones. "You cannot name them, hm? That is okay."

The next statement gave Kurt pause, and he looked openly taken aback. "No, Mr. Keller. Not right. Before I sat down," he gave the bar a once-over very openly, like checking the room as if expecting somebody new to crop up, "You were alone, were you not? I see little difference."

[ex_julianhe]

Okay, so that's maybe a good point. Julian frowned. He thought it was slightly more on the healthy side of unhealthy to be drinking in a bar full of people than by himself where no one could see, but maybe Kurt was right. Not that he was going to actually admit that openly.

"You saw me," he pointed out. "And anyone else could. Wouldn't be the case if I was doing this at home."

[in_likeflynn]

Kurt wasn't completely sure if Julian meant at home in the City or home home, but that was beside the point. "So you are counting on the happenstance of good company to insure that you are not alone. I see."

He took a moment to find a delicate way to label this as a cry for help. If Julian wanted to be left alone, he would have stayed alone. To Kurt, always looking to help people, this was wanted assistance without asking for it, maybe without even knowing it. No matter, and easily enough remedied.

"What is wrong, Julian?"

[ex_julianhe]

At this stage, Julian sort of meant both. The only difference with here was that he really did live alone, whereas in his real home he still lived with the X-Men. There, he had to go out if he wanted to drink, so maybe part of it was habit. The rest was what he’d said. It was better to have the buzz of people around even if they weren’t technically with him. If the aim was not thinking, which it generally was, being a solitary drinker wasn’t that helpful.

Not that any of that meant that this was a cry for help. He’d deny that all night long. At the question he defaulted to defensive. He leaned back in his seat and flattened his expression.

“Nothing,” he said, with a shrug. “I just got booted to another reality. Takes some getting used to. Things are different here.” That last part hit closest to the truth. But then he frowned. “I’m just dealing the way I know how. Do you want me to leave, Mr Wagner?”

[in_likeflynn]

Kurt was quiet for a moment, expression gentle as he listened and eyes moving about the room so as to not be too focused on poor Julian. The boy's answer was not much of answer at all and plainly irritated. After that pause, he shrugged. "Drinking, I do not mind. Most do not wait for twenty-one. It is the manner developed that concerns me. To me, it is all nostalgia or comeraderie, and most usually not a problem-solver. I even become concerned with myself when I try to use it as a method to soothe."

Anyway... "Something to consider, I suppose. Personally, I prefer to beat things up when I'm feeling blue. Or to find a pretty girl to talk to."

[ex_julianhe]

Julian didn’t say anything to the first part. Kurt was being very good with both words and with not getting angry, and the combination was making it difficult to be argumentative. It was making him quiet instead, wary and for some reason irritated with himself.

The suggestion of girls drew a wry smile and he raised his eyebrows.

“That was the plan,” he admitted. “Girls are their own trouble sometimes.” And it didn’t help that he kept thinking about Laura and Tom every time he tried. It’d be easier to clear his head if he didn’t keep imagining a pair of green eyes judging every move he made. “Gotta say I never thought I’d get permission to go beat something up.”

[in_likeflynn]

"I wouldn't have assumed you the sort to need permission, Julian. It is better than risking a fine to a perfectly respectable gentleman and drinking all by your lonesome, however."

He raised his eyebrows and flashed a quick smile, finishing off his beer. He pushed his chair back again, then, tone more conversational than chiding now. "Girl trouble then, hm? It happens. I could certainly testify to this." And boy, could he, but that wasn't the point. "This City is always busy. I'm sure we could find something useful to do that involves punching and kicking, if you'd like."

[ex_julianhe]

Julian just smiled at the first part and didn't answer. He was well aware of his reputation for troublemaking, he didn't need to actively confirm it. He'd already done all he could to earn it anyway.

At the second part, though, he studied Kurt's expression as if he were looking for some sort of trick there. Apparently he found none, because after a minute he nodded and left the beer where it was.

"Yeah, okay," he said. "I don't hate that plan."