you're neither friend nor foe

[loveyourenemy]

WHO: Jonah Matsuka (loveyourenemy), Keith Anyan (prodigitalson), and Kurama (gardenerthief)
WHERE: Superjail
WHEN: Sunday
SUMMARY: Matsuka finally works up the nerve to see Keith, with some moral support from Kurama.
WARNINGS: Terrangst.
FORMAT: Para.

Comments

[prodigitalson]

As usual, Keith's behavior has been impeccable. He's done everything the wardens have asked of him without complaint. Actually, doing nothing but following orders was a little soothing at first--but now it's starting to wear on his nerves. Didn't he think he'd never have to follow orders again?

He brought this upon himself, though, so he doesn't resist.

Which is how he ends up in the open visitation room once more, this time with a chair. He hasn't been told who's coming to see him, but he finds himself hoping against hope that it's Matsuka. Unfair, he knows. And he's also a little afraid, because he doesn't know what he could possibly say to Matsuka. But he wants to see him.

Keith sits, his hands folded on his lap, his expression weary but composed, and he waits. He doesn't look like a threat. He looks tired and just a little hopeful.

Nor does he feel like a threat. His mental shields are still down, and uncertainty and loneliness seethe off him.

[gardenerthief]

...He had never met Keith Anyan as he had been.

Kurama had heard of Keith Anyan. Had seen the mark of his hand on Matsuka. Had seen his shadow in the eyes of Soldier Blue, and his wreckage in Leo's still-healing form. Kurama did not like what he had seen.

He did, however, like Matsuka, and it was for Matsuka that he was here. He was calm. His mind was carefully free of anything other than simple observation of their setting, and confidence in his friend.

[loveyourenemy]

Matsuka senses Keith's mind long before he's reached the visitation room, and he falters halfway down the hallway, unconsciously pressing a closed hand against his chest. It's unexpected - not that he can sense Keith, but that Keith's mind is so open to him, when it was always so closed off before.

For a moment he feels like he's having trouble breathing.

"I'm sorry," he says, shakily, to Shuichi, taking a few moments to steady himself and to find some reassuring in the calm clarity of the other's mind. "I just--"

He braces himself visibly before he makes himself cross the remaining distance and step into the room where Keith is waiting.

[prodigitalson]

Keith looks up.

Matsuka.

The name vibrates off his mind like a sprung trap, snapping with pain, regret, and longing. But nothing closes in his mind after that cry. It's still open.

Keith stands, his expression unreadable--for once not by design, but simply because he can't imagine how to express everything he's feeling. Dissonance radiates off him as he finds himself looking down at Matsuka instead of up. It doesn't seem right. Matsuka is above him, beckoning him onwards. That's how Keith remembers him now.

He should say something. What should he say?

"I'm glad you came." His voice is gentle but firm, not quite hesitant, because he puts so much thought into deciding his words before he speaks. "You weren't under any obligation to."