shadows flicker palely, then stand;
WHO: Terra
WHERE: The Porter, elsewhere
WHEN: Earlier this same evening!
WARNINGS:
WHAT: Magic-chan makes her triumphant return -- without magic.
WORDS: So many of them!!
There was sound. Before her eyes opened, or before her body could register the cold of the floor beneath her or the heat of the air around her, there was sound in her ears. Many of them, even in a room as empty as this one. Far above her was the flickering sputtering voice of fluorescent lights, a discordant mess of death throes. Towering above her still, but further out, were the large machines that occupied this place; she could hear the bass hum of power and feel the minute vibrations they carved into the floor. Greater distance away was the low percussion of quiet fans pushing air through the cavern of a room. The warmth of it tickled the short hairs of her bare shoulders. There was the sound of her own heavy pulse, the throb of blood in her neck and skull, twitching through her hands and pushing through her body, the same as the fans circulating heat through the body of the building with hidden vents and valves. Her fingers twitched, catching against the smooth floor, straightening until the heels pressed down, warm with sweat. Her arms shook and her chest trembled, but she pushed down against the floor. It felt more like she was trying to move the earth than her own body; slowly she rose, and warm air wrapped around her in welcome against skin and fabric chilled by the ground.
Her eyes took no time adjusting to the bright, yellowing light, and took less to recognize her surroundings. "The Porter...?" she asked quietly, but there was no one to answer her. It wasn't necessary, for Terra needed no answer. There was the teleportation device itself, that large platform where she had found herself deposited so many seasons ago, and there the terminal where she had once received her communicator and, more importantly, the keys to her apartment. Her legs were weak beneath her, but Terra was not distressed. Like a newborn foal she clambered to her feet, her muscles clenched tight to keep her steady on her high heels. Her arms were raised for stability, but even they relaxed as her balance and strength returned to her.
And there came greeting from the familiar voice. Welcome to the city, it called from the terminal. Hero, it beckoned. Her steps were slow as she crossed the room, thoughts moving only a step or two faster. To be in this building again... Briefly, she wondered if she had simply dreamed it all. That she had arrived here in this room, and perhaps fainted, and the months that followed had been nothing more than her imagination. Everything she had done... everyone she had met... For some reason, that idea left her feeling uneasy, as though there were a heavy ball of iron sinking in her stomach.
Terra came to a halt before she reached the terminal, and her eyes were downcast. She didn't like the idea that so much could have been false... Before her thoughts caught up with her actions, Terra's hands were digging past scarves to her hidden belts and pouches tied neatly around her hips. She had grown so accustomed to carrying all her belongings with her since setting out from Narshe, it seemed only natural that she keep her most important possessions on her person no matter what. She pulled out a great number of small items, and with each that weight of emotion in her chest lightened, loosened, and dissipated. Here was the chain with her name shallowly engraved into a small metal plate; here were the vials that served as ether and tonic in this world; the tight roll of stiff-fabric slips that served as currency. These were things that did not exist this way in her home world; if she had them on her now, that meant that she must have acquired them here -- that her memories were true.
She had already suffered from losing a past; Terra didn't want to know what she would have done if the one she remembered now was false. Putting her belongings back, Terra finally moved to the terminal, quickly collecting a spare communicator and set of door tags. If both remained active, she'd be able to collect twice as much money as she had before. True, she didn't spend it on much, but it was a nice assurance to have. Who knew the next time she would need to purchase an emergency plane ticket on short notice?
It may seem strange, but the obvious wrongness of Terra's situation did not strike her until she entered the elevator with the mirror-shine polished doors and walls. She didn't even notice the first time she saw herself in the closing doors; only when the car began sinking did her gaze focus on her reflection. She almost didn't recognize herself. "My..."
Slim, pale fingers reached up to the knot of ribbons in her hair, tugging at this hoop and that. Her hair came down like a curtain, creased and curled, brushing over her shoulders and against her cheeks. A shiver ran up Terra's spine; as she combed fingers into her hair she watched her reflection do the same, and as she pulled a tangle of locks forward, she was surprised that she matched the reflection. She had good reason; Terra's hair was an unusual shade of green, a hue that belonged better in a forest than an elevator. Or rather, it had been that color; now each and every strand was a pale yellow, like sun-bleached straw. It was, to say the least, unusual. She knew it was possible for people to change the color of their hair in this world, but it wasn't something she'd ever done herself -- in fact, Terra hadn't once considered it. Had someone done this to her? Who? Why? All she could remember was that fight with Lina--
The elevator swung to a halt, and the doors split from one another in layers, releasing Terra to the tower's lobby. Perturbed, her steps were slow, the click of her heels quiet on the polished floor. True, it was a superficial change, but... the more Terra thought, the more she felt... wrong. In her clutched left hand was the knot of ribbons from her hair, a few stray strands threading through them. Considering how she had arrived here, Terra was a little hesitant to use magic, but... worry settled on her shoulders like a cloak. She wouldn't be destroying property, after all, and she could always get new ribbons... it would prove she was just imagining things. Just because she'd been killed didn't mean...
There was no warm glow to her hands as she tried drawing from her inner power, and even when she spoke Fire, no heat danced across her fingertips, and certainly the ribbons were no worse for wear. No worse for anything: there hadn't been a spark, a flickering ember of flame at her command. Ice and Blizzard, Bolt and Thunder, Poison and Cure and Float and Break -- no matter what spell Terra tried, the result was the same.
"Nothing's happening..."
Her back was to a wall then, and her legs no longer supporting her weight. Terra slid down with heels screeching across polished flooring, her hands shaking as they burrowed into blond waves of hair, fingernails digging against her scalp. No, this wasn't possible, was it? It wasn't a matter of being exhausted, she was sure, for the more she focused inward, the greater the void she felt. All her power... even her other form, stronger and fierce, that monstrous cross between woman and beast-- it was gone. It was all gone. "Why?" she asked the silent floor. "How?"
Had her death--her death, in that other form, had it only truly affected that other side of her? She was alive now, though incomplete. If Lina had killed only the Esper in her, taking away Terra's magic and the rest with it, did that mean...
"Am I... human?"
This was a terrifying thought. Terra, in the infancy of her independence, had not known she was different from other humans. But slowly, as her journey went on with Edgar and the others, the more Terra felt distant from them, and more fearful of herself. She was born with a terrible power that had nearly wiped humans out millennia before, and even then was pushing all people to the brink of war once again. When the frozen Esper had awoken her fully, how terrible was her strength then, how frightened she had been, how horrible in strength and appearance, how frightening. She had wanted to use that power to do what was good, what was right... but what good had opening the sealed gate done? What good would going to Crescent Island do? What good was she, a being incapable of understanding her own emotions, let alone those of others? And coming here, what good had she brought? How many people had she trusted, only for them to use her? Hurt her? And the few who hadn't, how much had she made them suffer on her behalf?
Her magic was gone... her Esper form vanquished... did this truly make her human? Or was some part of her still a monster? Terra shook her head suddenly, combing tangles out of her hair as she considered this. "No. That isn't me anymore... I'm not a weapon. I'm not a machine. And I'm not a monster. I..."
The words did little to fill the wide open lobby, oppressive in its size, and sitting here with her thoughts would do little good. It would be better to keep moving. Slowly Terra pushed her way back to her feet, and with greater strength she finally strode from the building, the sound of the doors shutting behind her transforming her back to gooseflesh. She didn't know exactly where she was going--though she recognized these streets, the path before her was not aimed to any familiar destination. As she walked, she spoke to herself. "I'm not any of those things anymore." Goosebumps prickled her skin in the cold weather. "I'm human now. I'm still me. Even if I don't have my powers anymore... even if there's so many things I don't understand..."
Winter-bundled bodies bumped against her, soft padded down bubbles of people covered in harsh material, but Terra paid other people little mind. She heeded crosswalks, and avoided cars and bicycles, but as far as her mind was concerned, there were no other people around her. They took little care to notice her, either; everyone moved to their individual destinations. "And if people hate me for what I was... it doesn't matter. Does it?" Some part of her was sure that it didn't, but the rest of her wasn't entirely convinced. "Even if I'm powerless now, I can find my way... Can't I?"
The brightness of the display was what caught Terra's eye mid-stride, and she nearly twisted on her ankle for the quick change in direction. A few bodies had to be pushed through, a loud "hey!" following after her, but Terra was captivated. Some of the ones on display were much too large for her, too much here and too little there, but there were a great many more beyond that, and something about the sight of them on those mannequins struck Terra as familiar. The cut or the color, or maybe the adornment... against the glass she could see her reflection, blond hair still falling loose in messy waves against her neck and shoulders. The mannequins were set higher than she, and they were not perfect mirrors of one another; Terra's reflection on the glass cast the red of her dress against white. On the other side of the glass, It looked as though a woman had been wounded, stabbed or speared, blood spilling across her in a torrent. A strangled gasp pushed through her and she stepped back, her almost-shaking hands laying upon her breast and stomach. Such a powerful hue... but all she could see it as here was the heat of fire and the splash of injury. Red was a good color to wear for combat; the stains of blood could easily be ignored as the battle went on. But... was fighting really what she wanted to do? With a power such as hers, and from a world such as hers, it only made sense to fight... but was it necessary here? All her troubles had stemmed from fighting, and violence... so maybe...
Terra stepped closer to the window, fingertips pressing against the cold glass, and her eyes sought the empty face of the mannequin.
It was completely blank.
Her fingers trailed along the glass as she walked, slow steps from one edge of the window to the other, eventually reaching the partition to an unlocked door. With a steadying breath she laid her palm on the L-shaped handle and pushed, easing inside to the chime of a bell. If she really were human now, she thought, then her death at Lina's hands was more of a blessing than a tragedy. She had a new chance. She would have to make her own decisions from now on, like she'd always been told... now, somehow, it felt more real..
But for right now, she just had to find something she liked.
WHERE: The Porter, elsewhere
WHEN: Earlier this same evening!
WARNINGS:
WHAT: Magic-chan makes her triumphant return -- without magic.
WORDS: So many of them!!
There was sound. Before her eyes opened, or before her body could register the cold of the floor beneath her or the heat of the air around her, there was sound in her ears. Many of them, even in a room as empty as this one. Far above her was the flickering sputtering voice of fluorescent lights, a discordant mess of death throes. Towering above her still, but further out, were the large machines that occupied this place; she could hear the bass hum of power and feel the minute vibrations they carved into the floor. Greater distance away was the low percussion of quiet fans pushing air through the cavern of a room. The warmth of it tickled the short hairs of her bare shoulders. There was the sound of her own heavy pulse, the throb of blood in her neck and skull, twitching through her hands and pushing through her body, the same as the fans circulating heat through the body of the building with hidden vents and valves. Her fingers twitched, catching against the smooth floor, straightening until the heels pressed down, warm with sweat. Her arms shook and her chest trembled, but she pushed down against the floor. It felt more like she was trying to move the earth than her own body; slowly she rose, and warm air wrapped around her in welcome against skin and fabric chilled by the ground.
Her eyes took no time adjusting to the bright, yellowing light, and took less to recognize her surroundings. "The Porter...?" she asked quietly, but there was no one to answer her. It wasn't necessary, for Terra needed no answer. There was the teleportation device itself, that large platform where she had found herself deposited so many seasons ago, and there the terminal where she had once received her communicator and, more importantly, the keys to her apartment. Her legs were weak beneath her, but Terra was not distressed. Like a newborn foal she clambered to her feet, her muscles clenched tight to keep her steady on her high heels. Her arms were raised for stability, but even they relaxed as her balance and strength returned to her.
And there came greeting from the familiar voice. Welcome to the city, it called from the terminal. Hero, it beckoned. Her steps were slow as she crossed the room, thoughts moving only a step or two faster. To be in this building again... Briefly, she wondered if she had simply dreamed it all. That she had arrived here in this room, and perhaps fainted, and the months that followed had been nothing more than her imagination. Everything she had done... everyone she had met... For some reason, that idea left her feeling uneasy, as though there were a heavy ball of iron sinking in her stomach.
Terra came to a halt before she reached the terminal, and her eyes were downcast. She didn't like the idea that so much could have been false... Before her thoughts caught up with her actions, Terra's hands were digging past scarves to her hidden belts and pouches tied neatly around her hips. She had grown so accustomed to carrying all her belongings with her since setting out from Narshe, it seemed only natural that she keep her most important possessions on her person no matter what. She pulled out a great number of small items, and with each that weight of emotion in her chest lightened, loosened, and dissipated. Here was the chain with her name shallowly engraved into a small metal plate; here were the vials that served as ether and tonic in this world; the tight roll of stiff-fabric slips that served as currency. These were things that did not exist this way in her home world; if she had them on her now, that meant that she must have acquired them here -- that her memories were true.
She had already suffered from losing a past; Terra didn't want to know what she would have done if the one she remembered now was false. Putting her belongings back, Terra finally moved to the terminal, quickly collecting a spare communicator and set of door tags. If both remained active, she'd be able to collect twice as much money as she had before. True, she didn't spend it on much, but it was a nice assurance to have. Who knew the next time she would need to purchase an emergency plane ticket on short notice?
It may seem strange, but the obvious wrongness of Terra's situation did not strike her until she entered the elevator with the mirror-shine polished doors and walls. She didn't even notice the first time she saw herself in the closing doors; only when the car began sinking did her gaze focus on her reflection. She almost didn't recognize herself. "My..."
Slim, pale fingers reached up to the knot of ribbons in her hair, tugging at this hoop and that. Her hair came down like a curtain, creased and curled, brushing over her shoulders and against her cheeks. A shiver ran up Terra's spine; as she combed fingers into her hair she watched her reflection do the same, and as she pulled a tangle of locks forward, she was surprised that she matched the reflection. She had good reason; Terra's hair was an unusual shade of green, a hue that belonged better in a forest than an elevator. Or rather, it had been that color; now each and every strand was a pale yellow, like sun-bleached straw. It was, to say the least, unusual. She knew it was possible for people to change the color of their hair in this world, but it wasn't something she'd ever done herself -- in fact, Terra hadn't once considered it. Had someone done this to her? Who? Why? All she could remember was that fight with Lina--
The elevator swung to a halt, and the doors split from one another in layers, releasing Terra to the tower's lobby. Perturbed, her steps were slow, the click of her heels quiet on the polished floor. True, it was a superficial change, but... the more Terra thought, the more she felt... wrong. In her clutched left hand was the knot of ribbons from her hair, a few stray strands threading through them. Considering how she had arrived here, Terra was a little hesitant to use magic, but... worry settled on her shoulders like a cloak. She wouldn't be destroying property, after all, and she could always get new ribbons... it would prove she was just imagining things. Just because she'd been killed didn't mean...
There was no warm glow to her hands as she tried drawing from her inner power, and even when she spoke Fire, no heat danced across her fingertips, and certainly the ribbons were no worse for wear. No worse for anything: there hadn't been a spark, a flickering ember of flame at her command. Ice and Blizzard, Bolt and Thunder, Poison and Cure and Float and Break -- no matter what spell Terra tried, the result was the same.
"Nothing's happening..."
Her back was to a wall then, and her legs no longer supporting her weight. Terra slid down with heels screeching across polished flooring, her hands shaking as they burrowed into blond waves of hair, fingernails digging against her scalp. No, this wasn't possible, was it? It wasn't a matter of being exhausted, she was sure, for the more she focused inward, the greater the void she felt. All her power... even her other form, stronger and fierce, that monstrous cross between woman and beast-- it was gone. It was all gone. "Why?" she asked the silent floor. "How?"
Had her death--her death, in that other form, had it only truly affected that other side of her? She was alive now, though incomplete. If Lina had killed only the Esper in her, taking away Terra's magic and the rest with it, did that mean...
"Am I... human?"
This was a terrifying thought. Terra, in the infancy of her independence, had not known she was different from other humans. But slowly, as her journey went on with Edgar and the others, the more Terra felt distant from them, and more fearful of herself. She was born with a terrible power that had nearly wiped humans out millennia before, and even then was pushing all people to the brink of war once again. When the frozen Esper had awoken her fully, how terrible was her strength then, how frightened she had been, how horrible in strength and appearance, how frightening. She had wanted to use that power to do what was good, what was right... but what good had opening the sealed gate done? What good would going to Crescent Island do? What good was she, a being incapable of understanding her own emotions, let alone those of others? And coming here, what good had she brought? How many people had she trusted, only for them to use her? Hurt her? And the few who hadn't, how much had she made them suffer on her behalf?
Her magic was gone... her Esper form vanquished... did this truly make her human? Or was some part of her still a monster? Terra shook her head suddenly, combing tangles out of her hair as she considered this. "No. That isn't me anymore... I'm not a weapon. I'm not a machine. And I'm not a monster. I..."
The words did little to fill the wide open lobby, oppressive in its size, and sitting here with her thoughts would do little good. It would be better to keep moving. Slowly Terra pushed her way back to her feet, and with greater strength she finally strode from the building, the sound of the doors shutting behind her transforming her back to gooseflesh. She didn't know exactly where she was going--though she recognized these streets, the path before her was not aimed to any familiar destination. As she walked, she spoke to herself. "I'm not any of those things anymore." Goosebumps prickled her skin in the cold weather. "I'm human now. I'm still me. Even if I don't have my powers anymore... even if there's so many things I don't understand..."
Winter-bundled bodies bumped against her, soft padded down bubbles of people covered in harsh material, but Terra paid other people little mind. She heeded crosswalks, and avoided cars and bicycles, but as far as her mind was concerned, there were no other people around her. They took little care to notice her, either; everyone moved to their individual destinations. "And if people hate me for what I was... it doesn't matter. Does it?" Some part of her was sure that it didn't, but the rest of her wasn't entirely convinced. "Even if I'm powerless now, I can find my way... Can't I?"
The brightness of the display was what caught Terra's eye mid-stride, and she nearly twisted on her ankle for the quick change in direction. A few bodies had to be pushed through, a loud "hey!" following after her, but Terra was captivated. Some of the ones on display were much too large for her, too much here and too little there, but there were a great many more beyond that, and something about the sight of them on those mannequins struck Terra as familiar. The cut or the color, or maybe the adornment... against the glass she could see her reflection, blond hair still falling loose in messy waves against her neck and shoulders. The mannequins were set higher than she, and they were not perfect mirrors of one another; Terra's reflection on the glass cast the red of her dress against white. On the other side of the glass, It looked as though a woman had been wounded, stabbed or speared, blood spilling across her in a torrent. A strangled gasp pushed through her and she stepped back, her almost-shaking hands laying upon her breast and stomach. Such a powerful hue... but all she could see it as here was the heat of fire and the splash of injury. Red was a good color to wear for combat; the stains of blood could easily be ignored as the battle went on. But... was fighting really what she wanted to do? With a power such as hers, and from a world such as hers, it only made sense to fight... but was it necessary here? All her troubles had stemmed from fighting, and violence... so maybe...
Terra stepped closer to the window, fingertips pressing against the cold glass, and her eyes sought the empty face of the mannequin.
It was completely blank.
Her fingers trailed along the glass as she walked, slow steps from one edge of the window to the other, eventually reaching the partition to an unlocked door. With a steadying breath she laid her palm on the L-shaped handle and pushed, easing inside to the chime of a bell. If she really were human now, she thought, then her death at Lina's hands was more of a blessing than a tragedy. She had a new chance. She would have to make her own decisions from now on, like she'd always been told... now, somehow, it felt more real..
But for right now, she just had to find something she liked.