3rd Scam [video]
["Sanjay" is in a well-lit, clean store, humming to himself and doing what appears to be sticking a rather large gun into his suit coat. Oddly enough, there is no evidence that this huge honking uzi is IN there, once he buttons his jacket back up. He turns around, huge purple sunglasses still on, and begins to straighten a few things up, singing quietly to himself]
Give 'em the old razzle dazzle
Razzle Dazzle 'em
Give 'em an act with lots of flash in it
And the reaction will be passionate
Give 'em the old hocus pocus
Bead and feather 'em
How can they see with sequins in their eyes?
What if your hinges all are rusting?
What if, in fact, you're just disgusting?
Razzle dazzle 'em
And they'll never catch wise!
[he then turns to face the camera, best slimy smile plastered on]
Hi there, everyone! I'm coming to you today with great news! If you'll just follow me outside...
[he picks up the camera, and goes outside, pointing it at a rather shiny sign]
Announcing the upcoming grand opening of the Stop N' Spend!
Tired of heading down to your local corner mart, only to find that there's nothing but cheap cigarettes, cheap alcohol and junk food that isn't palatable on a good day? Sick of having to travel across town just to buy essentials? Disgusted with stores that are so sprawlingly huge that it takes you ten minutes just to find a tube of toothpaste?
Well, your days of trouble are over! The Stop N' Spend is here to put the convenience back in convenience store. More than just your average gas station dive, the Stop N' Spend is stocking everything you could possibly want on a moment's notice. Got the midnight munchies? We've got an array of tasty and nutritious snacks for you to choose from in addition to the usual lard-laden deliciousness! Liquor store closed? No worries, come down to the Stop N' Spend and find the good stuff right next to the cheap stuff! Want to buy your smokes AND save on those last-minute copies you gotta get done before Monday morning? We've got it all.
Now naturally, I need some employees to help me run the joint. Pay and benefits are competitive. Get on this boat before it leaves port!
I'm looking forward to your patronage.
Give 'em the old razzle dazzle
Razzle Dazzle 'em
Give 'em an act with lots of flash in it
And the reaction will be passionate
Give 'em the old hocus pocus
Bead and feather 'em
How can they see with sequins in their eyes?
What if your hinges all are rusting?
What if, in fact, you're just disgusting?
Razzle dazzle 'em
And they'll never catch wise!
[he then turns to face the camera, best slimy smile plastered on]
Hi there, everyone! I'm coming to you today with great news! If you'll just follow me outside...
[he picks up the camera, and goes outside, pointing it at a rather shiny sign]
Announcing the upcoming grand opening of the Stop N' Spend!
Tired of heading down to your local corner mart, only to find that there's nothing but cheap cigarettes, cheap alcohol and junk food that isn't palatable on a good day? Sick of having to travel across town just to buy essentials? Disgusted with stores that are so sprawlingly huge that it takes you ten minutes just to find a tube of toothpaste?
Well, your days of trouble are over! The Stop N' Spend is here to put the convenience back in convenience store. More than just your average gas station dive, the Stop N' Spend is stocking everything you could possibly want on a moment's notice. Got the midnight munchies? We've got an array of tasty and nutritious snacks for you to choose from in addition to the usual lard-laden deliciousness! Liquor store closed? No worries, come down to the Stop N' Spend and find the good stuff right next to the cheap stuff! Want to buy your smokes AND save on those last-minute copies you gotta get done before Monday morning? We've got it all.
Now naturally, I need some employees to help me run the joint. Pay and benefits are competitive. Get on this boat before it leaves port!
I'm looking forward to your patronage.