Comments | capeandcowl: WHAT IS A HIATUS/TWIST AWAY THE GATES OF STEEL [Voice]

grenadeball in capeandcowl

WHAT IS A HIATUS/TWIST AWAY THE GATES OF STEEL [Voice]

Apr 16, 2009 23:29

...You sons of bitches.

We just got back from vacation. We were just fucking. Relaxing.

I worked hard to get that far, y'know? I was patient.

Do you have ANY IDEA how hard it is for ME to be patient.

You're all super deluxe chocolate sundae cocksuckers and pedophiles. Later, dipshits. I got shit to break.

† tank girl | n/a

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reactionary April 17 2009, 04:01:31 UTC

What did you do.

1/? grenadeball April 17 2009, 04:02:24 UTC

You.

Okay, faggot. Let me make this motherfucking crystal clear.

2/? grenadeball April 17 2009, 04:05:13 UTC

Let me start with this - I am a dangerous woman. I always have been. Now, you know this, but you only know this because you think I'm a terrible person. You don't fucking quite get it.

I am a fucking hard heavy metal nuclear bomb, shit head. I wreck people's shit like it was eating breakfast. I build rocket launchers for shits and giggles. I handmake blimps just so I can set them on fire and reenact the Hindenburg.

I took down a fucking bounty hunter convention that was after my ass while quoting movies in a drugged out haze.

I am not, as they, some one you wanna fuck with.

3/? grenadeball April 17 2009, 04:05:34 UTC

Now. Continuing.

4/? grenadeball April 17 2009, 04:08:14 UTC

There are very few people here who actually understand what I'm saying when I open my mouth. Among them is someone who's been a voice in my head, my childhood friends, and Lucifer himself.

Communication is important, you understand? It's seeing the subtleties in my words when most people wouldn't think there are any. All you hear is COCKEN SHITTEN MOUTHERSON RON PAUL FUCKING DOUCHEFAG AYN RAND DOGGIE BISCUIT, am I right?

Laurie understood what I'm actually saying. You get that? She got the words behind the words. She eventually started getting it without even thinking about it.

5/? grenadeball April 17 2009, 04:10:42 UTC

And now the number of people who understand what I'm really saying when I open my mouth just got knocked down a number. And it wasn't just anyone, it was the woman I was sleeping with. Yeah. Sleeping with. FUCKING. I put on an 8 inch strap on and fucked her pussy and it was GREAT for BOTH OF US. I made out with her on Brazil's beaches and we grabbed each other's tits like it ain't no thing.

She wasn't just tolerable. She understood the words. She was, for lack of a better phrase, my woman.

So. I want you to understand something.

6/? grenadeball April 17 2009, 04:20:47 UTC

I want you to understand that if you open your FUCKING RETARDED MOUTH...

That if you say WORD GODDAMN ONE about this, and I know the first words are gonna be accusing me of somehow making Laurie disappear.

I want you to know I will CASTRATE YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS. I will then REPLACE your nutsack with PLASTIC ORBS FILLED WITH POMEGRANATE JUICE. THE PART OF YOUR COCK WILL BE PLAYED BY A MINIATURE PEPSI CAN AFTER I RIP IT OFF, SALT IT, AND FEED IT TO DOGS.

I WILL OPEN YOUR HEAD UP WITH FIVE THOUSAND KNEES AIMED SQUARE BETWEEN YOUR INK BLOT MOM FUCKING OEDIPUS REX SUCKING EYES, AND AS YOU BLACK OUT INTO UNCONSCIOUSNESS, I'LL USE A GIGANTIC SHARPIE MARKER TO WRITE 'THE FREE MARKET AT WORK' ON YOUR ASS AS I RAPE IT WITH A PLASTIC COCK MODELED EXACTLY AFTER A HORSE'S DONG. IT EXISTS, I CAN HAVE IT SHIPPED OVERNIGHT, I DO NOT MIND IN THE LEAST PAYING THE EXTRA FEE.

Laurie isn't here now. If Laurie were here, then you might stand a chance of me not letting loose and putting a hole in your FACE the size of a CASABA MELON. And replacing ( ... )

7/DONE grenadeball April 17 2009, 04:21:22 UTC

SO LET ME ASK YOU.

DO YOU REALLY WANT TO FUCK WITH ME TODAY?

that was the most epic thing i've ever read on C&C. reactionary April 17 2009, 04:24:18 UTC

[ long pause, and then the transmission abruptly cuts ]

grenadeball April 17 2009, 04:26:18 UTC

YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT, COCKSUCKER.

gamera_sucks April 17 2009, 04:30:06 UTC

...Human girl much impress.

grenadeball April 17 2009, 05:55:42 UTC

[Huffs something under her breath, drinks eight beers]

hellcommander April 17 2009, 04:36:11 UTC

.... damn woman.

[recorded clapping]

grenadeball April 17 2009, 05:57:22 UTC

[Continued beer guzzling]

This post isn't here, but Rimmer is actually kinda turned on by this. ajrimmer_ssc April 17 2009, 04:47:18 UTC

fuckmodernism April 17 2009, 05:17:44 UTC

...

You are the most amazing woman on the planet. On any planet. If I could do anything other than text, this would be the sound of me clapping.

Just. Damn.

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