Okay, let's hypothetically hypothesize that somebody is currently embroiled up to their fuckin' nook in a contentious goddamn present purchasin' one-upsmanship. You know, for Earth Jegusmas or whatewer
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I mean, bein' his moirail and all a course I know what he'd generally like, but he's a fuckin... you know, shady sort. Got all his feelins all hid up and whatnot from me half a the time. Nobody can blame me for cartilage nubbin' out a little help in times a dire need like this.
My point, dear child, is that Edward is a man who appreciates the finest in life. Intellectual pursuits, but if you're going for irony, why not make it something he could easily figure out? Not that he would precisely appreciate it.
No, that's not gonna work - it's fuckin' the most obwious insult you could come up with, it's childish. Wiggler's play.
[irritated! man, he's really straining here.]
It's gotta be somethin' both challengin' and insultin' in said challenge simultaneously, I think - somethin' he's goin' to hate, but somethin' he can't outright fuckin' dismiss as bein' beneath him. Somethin' that makes him want to win, both 'cos he likes winnin' and just to fuckin' spite me for ewen tryin'.
Somethin' that outright dismissal would indicate he just doesn't fuckin' know.
[pause.]
Or maybe I just gotta get Fel somethin' better than whatewer the fuck he digs up for her.
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I mean, bein' his moirail and all a course I know what he'd generally like, but he's a fuckin... you know, shady sort. Got all his feelins all hid up and whatnot from me half a the time. Nobody can blame me for cartilage nubbin' out a little help in times a dire need like this.
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[pause. leaving it at this awkward point is tempting, but... HHH.]
Basically he keeps me from doin' stupid shit I might otherwise be so inclined towards doin'.
And he newer told me about you.
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I'm Oswald Cobblepot, at your service. I would suggest something that caters to his intelligence, if you will.
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Why not both? Don't you think he would appreciate some kind of puzzle? Especially if the reward at the end was a gift?
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I was thinkin' more somethin' that'd top a kitten in irony.
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[irritated! man, he's really straining here.]
It's gotta be somethin' both challengin' and insultin' in said challenge simultaneously, I think - somethin' he's goin' to hate, but somethin' he can't outright fuckin' dismiss as bein' beneath him. Somethin' that makes him want to win, both 'cos he likes winnin' and just to fuckin' spite me for ewen tryin'.
Somethin' that outright dismissal would indicate he just doesn't fuckin' know.
[pause.]
Or maybe I just gotta get Fel somethin' better than whatewer the fuck he digs up for her.
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You obviously know what he'd like, but have you thought about what he doesn't like? Or rather, what he refuses to like?
Not that I would ever suggest doing something for Eddie, unless you want him angry with you. Which seems to be the point, yes?
[ A pause ]
How much does he like spending quality time with you?
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Why?
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