(Untitled)

[hardonic]

[the video pops on with two light-haired siblings peering into the camera, one with her back straight and legs crossed and the other slouched back on the couch, hands behind his head.]

I'm tellin' you Rose, it's hells of obvious. We are basically in a massive MMO crossover the likes of FF.net have never seen.

[ she looks massively disinterested,

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[disillusionists]

[ that lineface stays as she brings her knees to her chest, curling up on the couch. STARING DOWN AT HER COMMUNICATOR WITH SO MUCH INTENSITY. ]

Doesn't that bother you? Knowing that we might be fictional.

[hardonic]

[shrug]

What? Just 'cause we're fictional doesn't mean the shit we do matters anyway. Props to the author for trying to make me as swag as I am, though. He's tryin'. He really is.

[disillusionists]

I don't think he's quite written you into the role of "Ultimate Swag Master" though.

[ shrugs back ]

I'd like to know what our creator was thinking.

[hardonic]

'Course not. Ultimate Swag Master's gotta write me, and that's me. So I'd have to write myself. Double Moebius reacharound all up in this fucker. Still, he can try.

[tilts his head to the side, cracking his neck.] Oh, come on. Since when have authors done anything that wasn't for shits and giggles? Just look at the Harry Potter books. Or whatever DC's up to these days.

[disillusionists]

[ she's just going to roll her eyes at the former comment, lowering her communicator ]

I doubt the Harry Potter series could be considered entirely "for shits and giggles". Nonetheless, I would prefer not to think that ruining our lives may just completely be for the "lulz".

[hardonic]

[he coughs. the cough sounds suspiciously like "wizard fetish".]

Then why make up shit about anything at all? Unless you wanna see Spot run, shit's gotta go down, hit the whirling blade device, or otherwise fly and fuck up the entire place like a terrorist attack on a sea of portapotties if you want people to read any of your shit. If stories are about anything, it's about how life wants to take your lemons and rub them in your eyes until everything you see is piss colored and smells like Minute Maid and also stings like all of the bees in the Wicker Man suddenly found speed.

[disillusionists]

[ SPEAKING OF LEMONS you are getting a very sour look. she heard that cough. ]

So instead of rose-coloured vision, it'd be piss. Dilapidation is certainly a way to handle literary fiction, but it shouldn't be the only rhetoric technique used.

[ leaning back against the couch yyyeep ]

Not that it matters, I suppose.

[hardonic]

So... What, you're a slice of life kind of chick? Big eyes small mouth no nose voice like a dog whistle kind of shit? Well, damn.

[disillusionists]

Personally, I prefer non-fiction. Slice-of-life just doesn't contain enough grace for my standards. Disappointing, I know.

[hardonic]

Why you gotta let me down like that? I'm running out of good material here. It's down to Jade's furry fetish and John's boner for Ghostbusters and that's about it.

[disillusionists]

You could always mention John's love for all that is Nic Cage-ly.

[hardonic]

I could, but that shit's getting easy. What I need is another sloppily crafted carefully shitty meme. Time to fire up the Photoshop pile, I think I'm gonna try to give the Nancho arc mouth-to-mouth.

[disillusionists]

I think I might start losing my equity over all these memes.

[hardonic]

Can you hold these memes? All of them?

[disillusionists]

Man, I'm most certainly tripping wicked globules.

[hardonic]

How high do you have to be to even do that?