[voice]
Like I said when I first, or maybe second, got dragged here, I haven't gotten it sorted yet, I've been writing down the story of my brief but brilliant life. For posterity, I s'pose. but mostly so I can sell it to the highest bidder. So I'm gonna read you a section from my Chapter Four, called, "The Mysteries of Subby, Panty Wearing Prince of Atlantis."
[He assumes a tone of mock-authority.]
The first great mystery of Subby was the tiny wings on his feet. Not how such miniscule things managed to lift him up in the air, though that was passing peculiar. No: why does a man who lives under water need wings in the first place? But then, Subby always was awfully contrary.
One time Hitler got it into his head to steal Subby's unmentionables for his own scientific experiments. They hadn't invented pants in Atlantis, yet, and so Subby was forced to fly around on his tiny foot wings wearing green underpants and nothing but. One might think he would catch cold, but such things are as nothing to the Atlantean Royal House. Apparently these underpants of his had mystical properties, and so Hitler sent his spies to steal them. They succeeded, for a time, but I could never get Subby to reveal to me the details. His eyebrows would start buzzing when I asked him about it, and it was best not to pry at such moments.
The whole incident- Subby's underwear, and Hitler filching it, makes my patriotic heart swell with pride. It's one of the great gifts of democracy that the future of America will never rest on a pair of panties.
[He assumes a tone of mock-authority.]
The first great mystery of Subby was the tiny wings on his feet. Not how such miniscule things managed to lift him up in the air, though that was passing peculiar. No: why does a man who lives under water need wings in the first place? But then, Subby always was awfully contrary.
One time Hitler got it into his head to steal Subby's unmentionables for his own scientific experiments. They hadn't invented pants in Atlantis, yet, and so Subby was forced to fly around on his tiny foot wings wearing green underpants and nothing but. One might think he would catch cold, but such things are as nothing to the Atlantean Royal House. Apparently these underpants of his had mystical properties, and so Hitler sent his spies to steal them. They succeeded, for a time, but I could never get Subby to reveal to me the details. His eyebrows would start buzzing when I asked him about it, and it was best not to pry at such moments.
The whole incident- Subby's underwear, and Hitler filching it, makes my patriotic heart swell with pride. It's one of the great gifts of democracy that the future of America will never rest on a pair of panties.