[news report]

[itsatrapped]

[It's the morning news, and a sandy haired, square jawed newsanchor is babbling about unusual happenings in a certain City district. "Maybe we should call the usual happenings," he jokes, in his chipper newsanchor way. He directs the camera to Trish, their on-site reporter.]

As you can see, Ted-

[And you can see. The reporter is wearing a

Comments

voice;

[nottheanswers]

Well, this is curious.

video;

[incywincyhero]

Calling it now -- it's a Nefarious Plot. [ Yes, you can hear the capitals. ] There's mind control drugs in the candy, or it'll turn you into a small and vaguely unpleasant sort of beastie, or -- ! Maybe whoever did this wants everyone to be too fat to fight back.

Stay strong! The sugar is not to be trusted!

But damn, now I want a cupcake.

voice;

[unastregadoro]

[Oh, well. This is interesting! Beatrice is tittering madly. Were this video, her shoulders would be shown shaking in her mirth. She's curious, though---who might've done this? This was, undoubtedly, the work of magic...]

My, my! What an enchanting use of candy! It almost makes me feel like a child again just looking at this new spectacle!

voice;

[unastregadoro]

It does, doesn't it? But...considering the nature of this place, it is perhaps too good to be true, nevermind done out of goodwill.

Voice

[more_surreal]

[Gasp]

Oh my gosh EVERYTHING IS MADE OF CANDY!

[There no further coherent words, just a KAP-WING! as Calvin takes flight he can't let those kindergartners get it all.]

Voice

[microwavemutant]

[And this is the sound of mom gasping in horror.]

Calvin! Wait! Be careful!

Voice

[more_surreal]

[This is the sound of wind roaring as Calvin zooms away regardless]

Don't worry, I'll make sure to bring lots back!

[Mainly for himself]

voice;

[thisstraydog]

What the fuck is that?