He's a Rebel (and he'll never ever be any good!) - Video

[purmoncul]

[The feed comes on to show everyone's favorite no-longer-so-young wizard, lounging comfortably in the booth of a fifties-style burger joint. He's bathed, well-rested and smiling, and far too good-looking for anyone's good.]

Hello, everyone! Sirius Black here, not new but definitely improved, as you can see. [His smile does not actually go 'ding',

Comments

voice

[deadthenred]

There's no future in flying motorcycles. Zip, zilch, nada.

voice

[purmoncul]

Oh? And why's that?

voice

[deadthenred]

'Cause falling's the fun part.

[Also b/c he is jealous.]

Re: voice

[purmoncul]

And how are you going to go about falling unless you're flying in the first place? Hours of your life spent driving aimlessly around in search of a bridge.

WAIT I REMEMBER YOU. You're the bloke who abandons his motorcycles in the first place and asks odd questions about history. We'll start you off on flying roller skates until you've grown up enough to be given a real means of transportation.

voice

[deadthenred]

You don't need a bridge to jump a motorcycle. You can do it off of cars if you're quick enough, but the cars don't much like it. Cripes.

You, mister, need to learn to respect your elders.

Re: voice

[purmoncul]

Oh so you do like to go up, then? I see. The way you were talking, I thought it was just falling you were after. Figured it reminded you of all the dropping you on your head that your mum did when you were small.

I'm immune to elders, I'm afraid. Incurably, despite my own mum's best efforts. Lucky me, by the time she figured it out, I was too big to drop.

voice

[deadthenred]

Nah- here's the thing about falling. You only ever go up if you wanna come down, and coming down's only interesting if you ain't sure you're gonna make it. There's a lot more thrill in jumping outta planes than just landing 'em normal.

And you oughta refrain from insulting my dead mother. She didn't get much of a chance to drop me, however slow yours is.

voice

[purmoncul]

Hmmm.

[Sirius weighs this response.]

See, normally I would agree: thrills are more thrilling when there's a high risk of spilling. I tend not to agree with people that I don't think I like very much, though, so I'm left with a bit of a quandry, here. It's the lack of discernible sense of humor, I think.

Dead mothers are the best kind, where mine's concerned, but I've learned that she was just a special case. I'll leave yours out of it, though, and we can both get on with our lives.

voice

[deadthenred]

Well, you can't blame me where the sense of humor's concerned.

We haven't invented those yet, where I come from.

voice

[purmoncul]

Sense of humor, dignity, humility, the ability to pronounce aluminium and spell most words. Lucky for you, that strong American dollar will get you a good deal on these and many other European imports.

Oh, wait.

voice

[deadthenred]

Look, I lost a limb for your ridiculous tea-drinking country. Means I can spell a word any way I wanna, and it'll be right.

But if I'm gonna be stuck in a place where people talk funny, I'm taking France. Their girls're prettier and better at necking.

voice

[purmoncul]

If I find it, I'll be sure to include it in the package, free of charge.

No arguments there. Better weather, too.

voice

[deadthenred]

Start looking in the North Atlantic.

And they pronounce it aluminium, too. Which is strange 'cause they're usually hacking the syllables off everything.