first soul; video

[swordnotsouma]

[And he's yelling. At first, the communicator fails to pick up on the words - it's nothing more than a loud, staticy mess of screamed syllables. The video is no better - it's spinning around, blurred, catching nothing more than a spiral blur. If you listen carefully, you might be able to discern such words as 'fuck' 'technology' 'humans' and 'angel

Comments

[swordnotsouma]

What are you going on about?

[swordnotsouma]

Bullshit.

[Voice]

[fangsmile]

Ha. Maybe if you start walking down the street punching random people in the face, we'll believe you and send you back.

[Voice]

[swordnotsouma]

That's doable.

[audio-only, spoken japanese]

[gallitrap]

Not everyone who gets brought here is a "hero." The machine has really bad aim.

... Even if you go back to Japan from here, though, I don't think you'll find what you're used to.

[spoken japanese]

[swordnotsouma]

[A snort.] I'll say. Fuck it.

What do you mean?

[gallitrap]

This isn't the same Earth that you're used to, I don't think. I'm from Japan, too, but my hometown doesn't even exist here. From what I've heard, even if the town you're from is there, things won't be in the same place, and... well. Unless they were brought here by that machine, nobody you remember will be there, either.

[swordnotsouma]

That machine is the problem? Why doesn't someone just, I don't know, maybe smash it. That should fix everything.

[video]

[so_saturnalian]

Yo, fucking loudass - shit don't work like it should, pulls in fucking assholes as soon as it drags heroic pansy-asses by their ponytails. You can jump a jet over to the Land of Tentacle Porn as soon as you want, but I'd cool your fucking jets there. The city's full of supertwats and there ain't a better place to raise hell, which I'm getting the feeling you do pretty goddamn often.

[Why yes, he is feeling a kinship here.]

Question! You a vampire, werewolf, or any other assorted superfuck that preys on humanity?

[video]

[swordnotsouma]

Land of... [And his eyebrows are going up at that. The expression quickly goes from 'what the hell is this guy talking about' to 'i think i like this guy']

I'm the Great Devil Sword! Hell's most infamous fucking devil.

[video]

[so_saturnalian]

Jan Motherfucking Valentine, bloodsucking undead freak - for the plebe fucks, a vampire. It's a goddamn honor, Devil Sword. Never met a devil before, but fuck, you seem cool enough.

As you can see, you're in good goddamn company. This dump is called the City, mainly because some retarded cocksucker wasn't wearing his creative butterfly panties the day he named it. Place is filled with "heroes", but that's bullshit. I threatened to burn someone alive at the cross the other day and three assholes showed up. Just three! Don't listen to a goddamn word they have to say about being all virtuous and shit.

Other than that, they got a bunch of us psychotic fucks running around burnin' bitches. And some Nazis.

[video]

[swordnotsouma]

Glad to see someone here isn't a complete fuckup. Great to meet you, Jan.

You make it sound like people follow through with anything they try to do. Humans? Are all fucking stupid. And lazy. And they do the most pointless shit imaginable. Fuck knows why anyone would want to look out for them, their souls aren't worth much and they're way too easily swayed.

... What the hell is a Nazi.

[spitsonyou]

If I knew that, do you think I'd still be here?

[swordnotsouma]

Fuck if I know. This could be your kind of town.

[spitsonyou]

Well let me tell you: it's not! My town is way smarter than this place!

[swordnotsouma]

Smarter? Better get that checked out. It could be trying to kill you.