ATTENTION SPIDERESIDENTS, THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING.
I invited a new guy to crash. His name's Sirius Black. Which, yeah, this is basically me requesting that you don't mess with him, because he's a little freaked out by having been brought here from the seventies or whatever and dumped into . . . this. Whatever this is that's going on here. So be nice. Seriously. He seems cool.
And yeah, Mama, this is your chance to yell at me.
Private :: Gert
Um, how are you doing? 'Cause I haven't heard from you in a while and I was just wondering and all.