[voice]
[ooc: this is a voice post in the very literal sense! d/l it here :D!!]
So, okay, like, most people like easing into things? But whatever, life's totally made for jumping in, right? So here's my question: why don't more people like us? And by us, I mean, y'know, the superhero types. 'Cause, like, it used to be pretty cool, but then fucking Hodge came and then all of a sudden OH MY GOD IT'S A MUTANT GET IN THE CAR, and I mean, on one hand, you got the government who's all "JUST LET THEM DEAL", then you got Hodge, who's all "THEY'RE GONNA KILL USSS" and then you got us and we're just, y'know, sittin' back, chillaxin', savin' you from falling buildings... y'know, jumpin' around in spandex.
Yeah, okay, like... idk man, it's just... weird. Cause, put it this way: there's old people, crazy robot freaks and sex on legs.
Seriously, like, which one would you choose to back up?
Yeah, I thought so.
And dude, you know it's true. I mean, on the powers side even without me, like, we got, idk, She-Hulk... Catwoman... friggin' Emma Frost if you're into the whole lady bondage shit, right? And on the non powers side?
One word.
Octamom.
Oh yeah, I went there... But like, we're donkeys and people are horses and it's not like either one's better than the other, but like, donkeys? Totally better, dude. Like, it's Eeyore versus Mr. Ed and they're both, idk, sorta cool? But you know you like Eeyore better 'cause Winnie the Pooh fuckin' rocks out and Mr. Ed's, like, a talking horse and whateves, right? But for some reason people like horses more 'cause you can race 'em or whatever, which, like, totally isn't fair because, like, that's just 'cause they don't, like, have enough brains to kick you in the shins like a donkey does and ...
Oh my god
Oh. My. Fucking. God. Guthrie. Guthrie, you asshole, you just infected me with your farmingishness I think I might cry I need a minute guys
[A deep breath.]
[The comm clicks off and on.]
Okay.
Okay, I'm, like, totally better now.
Like, I totally went downstairs and got myself, like, a jar of peanut butter and a spoon, and, like, farm kids totes don't have peanut butter 'cause they don't have stores to buy the jars from so, like. It's all good now. City girl, back in business. It's. Great.
Okay, but, like, yeah, I was thinking? And I figured it out. Like the answer? Is totally Lady Gaga.
No, like, it's not her fault, but, like, we should totally be more like her!
Seriously, like, we got the hot bods, dudes. I mean, lookit these hips, these thighs, this ass, it's like a masterpiece, amirite? So, like, I dress it up like it should be dressed: in skinny jeans and leather. Only, like, not everyone does and YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. Baggy sweat pants... horrible shades of chartreuse and, like, ick. Eugh.
Which is where we come to the Lady Gaga, 'cause, like, dude, some of us are colourblind (coughCyclopscough) but, like, that doesn't mean we still can't rock out. I mean, just look at her. Look at that freakin' crazy woman. She can't sing worth a shit, and, like, she sounds like a man, and she wears shiny lightning bolts and bows made out of hair, but for some reason, everyone friggin' loves her! 'CAUSE SHE MAKES IT LOOK GOOD. Why? 'Cause she's a frikkin' freak and guess what. So are we.
Moral of the story? Rock out the freakness and wear more fuckin' pink!
So, okay, like, most people like easing into things? But whatever, life's totally made for jumping in, right? So here's my question: why don't more people like us? And by us, I mean, y'know, the superhero types. 'Cause, like, it used to be pretty cool, but then fucking Hodge came and then all of a sudden OH MY GOD IT'S A MUTANT GET IN THE CAR, and I mean, on one hand, you got the government who's all "JUST LET THEM DEAL", then you got Hodge, who's all "THEY'RE GONNA KILL USSS" and then you got us and we're just, y'know, sittin' back, chillaxin', savin' you from falling buildings... y'know, jumpin' around in spandex.
Yeah, okay, like... idk man, it's just... weird. Cause, put it this way: there's old people, crazy robot freaks and sex on legs.
Seriously, like, which one would you choose to back up?
Yeah, I thought so.
And dude, you know it's true. I mean, on the powers side even without me, like, we got, idk, She-Hulk... Catwoman... friggin' Emma Frost if you're into the whole lady bondage shit, right? And on the non powers side?
One word.
Octamom.
Oh yeah, I went there... But like, we're donkeys and people are horses and it's not like either one's better than the other, but like, donkeys? Totally better, dude. Like, it's Eeyore versus Mr. Ed and they're both, idk, sorta cool? But you know you like Eeyore better 'cause Winnie the Pooh fuckin' rocks out and Mr. Ed's, like, a talking horse and whateves, right? But for some reason people like horses more 'cause you can race 'em or whatever, which, like, totally isn't fair because, like, that's just 'cause they don't, like, have enough brains to kick you in the shins like a donkey does and ...
Oh my god
Oh. My. Fucking. God. Guthrie. Guthrie, you asshole, you just infected me with your farmingishness I think I might cry I need a minute guys
[A deep breath.]
[The comm clicks off and on.]
Okay.
Okay, I'm, like, totally better now.
Like, I totally went downstairs and got myself, like, a jar of peanut butter and a spoon, and, like, farm kids totes don't have peanut butter 'cause they don't have stores to buy the jars from so, like. It's all good now. City girl, back in business. It's. Great.
Okay, but, like, yeah, I was thinking? And I figured it out. Like the answer? Is totally Lady Gaga.
No, like, it's not her fault, but, like, we should totally be more like her!
Seriously, like, we got the hot bods, dudes. I mean, lookit these hips, these thighs, this ass, it's like a masterpiece, amirite? So, like, I dress it up like it should be dressed: in skinny jeans and leather. Only, like, not everyone does and YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. Baggy sweat pants... horrible shades of chartreuse and, like, ick. Eugh.
Which is where we come to the Lady Gaga, 'cause, like, dude, some of us are colourblind (coughCyclopscough) but, like, that doesn't mean we still can't rock out. I mean, just look at her. Look at that freakin' crazy woman. She can't sing worth a shit, and, like, she sounds like a man, and she wears shiny lightning bolts and bows made out of hair, but for some reason, everyone friggin' loves her! 'CAUSE SHE MAKES IT LOOK GOOD. Why? 'Cause she's a frikkin' freak and guess what. So are we.
Moral of the story? Rock out the freakness and wear more fuckin' pink!