Chapter Nine

[take_theride]

Good evening, city. I need you all to help explain something for me. I've acquired all of the information I can, and I've been rolling it over and over in my head since the weekend. It just doesn't make senseSo here we are in the "city". Many of us have been here for some time. Me, personally, about 5 months or so. I didn't really think it through

Comments

[shockheadedpete]

I don't know what the $@&* city you're livin' in, but I file reports, investigate, an' make arrests regardin' robberies among other $#*! every goddamn day. Those "good $@&*ing Samaritans", as you call 'em, have started riots at the drop of a hat in my recollection. Last month I arrested a guy was breakin' into old ladies' apartments dressin' as a mail man, how &@%**ed up is that? Well here's how %#&*ed up it is: that ain't even close to the most &#%*ed up thing I see in a &$*#ing week.

So here's a grand ol' idea, pal. You c'mon down to the station and you file my paper work.

WOULD THAT &$@*ING HELP YOU &$@*ING FIGGER OUT WHAT THE &$@* IS GOING ON???

You can &$@*ing suck my *#%&.

[take_theride]

Good job. I'm glad the people that are working for the police force are as pleasant and helpful as you are. At least you had the decency to censor yourself, although I'm not sure why you felt the need to. ...Other than the fact that you're either a pussy or just inable to come up with as colorful insults as I can. It doesn't matter though, because you've still embarrassed yourself.

Now, I've stayed relatively pleasant. If you'd like me to to snort some fucking coke and argue back with the same incoherency, continue to be a complete fucking tool about this.

[shockheadedpete]

I didn't censor nothin'.

You weren't pleasant one bit an' you know it.

[take_theride]

You didn't. Well excuse me then, I must be going senile.

You just haven't seen me being unpleasant. It doesn't matter, you'll still struggle to take up for yourself instead of taking it as constructive criticism and applying to to enhancing the police force.

[shockheadedpete]

And just what constructive didja think you said, buddy?

'cause what you said is $#*@ the police.

[take_theride]

Notice you couldn't put that in direct quotes.

Do me a favor, dickhole. Go up the station, sit down at your desk, put your paperwork to the side and print up a nice big fucking sign that says "Now Hiring". Then, get up from your desk and tape it to the front fucking window.

A notice about it on the network wouldn't hurt either.

Oh, and don't forget to pick up the tape from your drawer before you leave the desk.

Is it that sad that I have to walk you through it? Please don't make me help you go to the bathroom, as well.

[shockheadedpete]

[my iPhone can't copypaste, so please pretend here that Pete has copypasted your line about it being hard to complain about the force because they are not needed. Please forgive my technical difficulties. We now return you to your regularly scheduled redneck.]

Now you're just ignorin' stuff 'cause it's convenient. I've asked every vigilante on here why, if they wanna stop crime so bad, they don't join the force and nobody's got a good answer for me. Hell, the best I got was that people give the capes less $#*! than the cops.

Everybody knows we need cops.

We'd die for every one a you and not one a you gives a $&@*.

[take_theride]

Alright, it's still just an excuse. Humor me. Do it. I want to see it for myself. And then I can call each and every one of them a lousy fuck.

As for why the hell this place isn't in flames? I think you have some sort of competing force. I mean, unless this world is magically pleasant, and less than 1% of the people here feel the need to commit some kind of crime.

I'm serious. I'm being completely open and honest here. There's no explanation. I'm not saying there's no crime, man. I'm sure you've got plenty of work, but the city knows there aren't any cops, so why isn't this place fucking trashed?

Don't give me that same bullshit your co-worker pulled, about working 12+ hours a day. 15 cops against an entire city... the odds aren't in your favor. But that doesn't mean it's not going to hurt to try to hire more. We deal with weird shit all the time, you'll be thankful for the extra staff.

And if I didn't give a fuck I wouldn't have written any of this in the first fucking place.

[shockheadedpete]

I'll make a goddamn banner. Happy?

I hear what you're sayin', but you ain't seriously complainin' that folks ain't destroying the place are you?

[take_theride]

I am.

I'm not complaining. I'm saying it doesn't make sense.

[shockheadedpete]

Don't knock a gift horse in the mouth 'til you tried it.

[hisforonehour]

Language!

[shockheadedpete]

$^&@ off.

[hisforonehour]

M-make me!

[shockheadedpete]

Make yourself. Or do you just want somethin' else to complain about me not doin'?

[hisforonehour]

I'm not complaining.