(got one shot left) video;

[dickgunshoe]

[There's a man in front of the camera, sitting at a metal table, hands folded on it's surface. Looking professional. An air of superiority hovers around him as he offers the camera a cold smile. He shifts in his chair, leans towards the camera a bit, and begins.]

Let me tell you a story.

[His voice is low and deep as he talks. It would almost be

Comments

voice

[readingink]

O-oh... there... are many... new people here... today...

You will fix it? Here? Ah... that would be... nice.

[dickgunshoe]

Of course it would be fucking nice. Who the hell wants to live in an unorganized shithole like this?

[readingink]

Uhm... My... home was... not as nice... as... this...

[dickgunshoe]

Well, that's a downright shame, isn't it?

[littleprovolone]

I'm awfully sorry, Officer. There's really not much any of us can do about the Porter technology. There are lots and lots of us here who also were taken from our homes, and it seems that the only way to go back is at the whim of the Porter. Lots of people are trying to figure it out, but no one has yet.

In the meantime, I think you should talk to Commissioner Prime, Chief McClane or Chief Maza. They're the ones leading the police force here. We need all the help we can get!

video;

[dickgunshoe]

[A cold smile]

... Thank you, ma'am. I'll be sure to contact them.

[yippiekiyay]

We can use every good cop we can get, pal. Don't get me started on the crazy bullshit in this place.

I'm Chief McClane. What's your name?

[dickgunshoe]

Detective Tupolski.

You in charge?

[yippiekiyay]

When I'm not suspended.

We've got only a handful of cops to police the whole city. We've got batshit insane assholes dressing up like clowns playing thrillkiller. We've got psychotic mad scientist bitches who dissect kids and turn them into monsters. We've got little cults of cape-wearing rainbow-flag vigilantes trying to be celebrities funded by asshole tycoons who can buy and sell public fucking opinion. We've got billionaires buying asylum inmates and jamming them chock full of fuckin' tiny robots to control their brains. We've got a bitch who can hypnotize people with her fucking voice to kidnap kids.

This job is the fucking worst. Welcome to the team.

[dickgunshoe]

Sounds like a normal fucking day back home.

voice

[istwostepsahead]

[Have the voice of a just-as-superior-sounding 14-year-old]

A wonderful conclusion. I'm sure your chief of police back home would be very proud.

Also, it doesn't matter how "good" a cop you are. I was good at what I did too. I'm here.

voice

[dickgunshoe]

Mm. Except you sound like you're still a fucking kid. You're not able to prevent anything. You're just there to get fucked-up.

Voice

[istwostepsahead]

Oh, I've prevented more than you can imagine.

I appreciate the overwhelming sense of literacy in your speech, by the way.

Voice

[dickgunshoe]

I'm not here for purple prose. I'm here to stop your father from touching you at night.

permatext

[stealthvirus]

How long did it take you to rehearse that

voice;

[dickgunshoe]

About as long as it took for you learn to talk.

[stealthvirus]

Huh

Well

Good luck with the change