Node to a Memento: The second year in the gymnasium
The second year in the gymnasium started off quite badly. I had ended my relation-ship with the girl I was in love with the first year, my computer was all trashy, the area called friends underwent some turmoil and schoolwork started to load up because it would be the hardest year ever when it came to homework.
One of the problems with this year is that it didn't happen as many things as it did the year before. What had the biggest effect was the move to a new school, some new people to talk to, and what not. I think it was more that I did change more personally than everything changed around me, somehow. However, I was depressed again. More or less I continued this kind of yo-yo mano-depressive kind of way I have had in the first year (though I am unsure it was mano-depression).
THe most important thing to me by this time was my studio. It was a dream in 9th grade and now (since the year before) a bit of a in-progress thing. As soon as my computer was fixed I started to link everything together and started with the musicmaking. I was eager to make an album. So, during a period of less than one or two months I recorded and worked on a bunch of songs that would become "Do You Mindfuck?". Why that name? I saw it a bit as a wordplay. Either "Do you mind?" or "Do you fuck?" or "Do you mindfuck?". Take it a bit as a "Do you mind fucking?" or "Do you fuck your mind?". When I listen to that album at times just for fun I realise that the title works with the music. Teehee.
Oh, when it comes to the crayon, this was the year that I started to get into vegetarianism for real. Reading Erich Schlosser's Fast Food Nation I started to reconsider alot. Also, my ex-girlfriend had been an vegetarian. But when I once asked my mother if it was okay that I would become a vegetarian she said that it wasn't and we came into arguments. Fine, I would start eating vegetarian food at school, but at home I ate like if I was still into meat. I often lied and said the meatarians menu in order to not make my mother question her occasional: "Why?", because I think it is always discomforting to hear a simple "Why?". Over time I started to grow out from meat since I had some really bad accidents with meat in general, and seeing how disgusting the meat was in school made things no better.
As you know, I got to know several new people this year which started to exchange the occasional unstimulating boredom with older some friends for more fast paced and different friends. I have lost contact with some of those I got to know this year (but more on that in the next entry), it was sure interesting times.
But, what the heck, I dunno why I can't remember anything certain from this year. It must've been dull, and yes, as I think of it that year was very dull. If it hadn't been for me having my own little personal space with the studio and all the things going on at LJ that year would've sucked even more. All those new people I met too, they saved me from actually being completely isolated from the outer world and completely miserable. Now, it was mainly the lack of a major event that makes me puzzled about this year. A lot of things happend
but not in chunks. This was like a nice asparagus soup, with a bit of bitter veggies added in it. And some sweet stuff too. Ah, well.
One of the problems with this year is that it didn't happen as many things as it did the year before. What had the biggest effect was the move to a new school, some new people to talk to, and what not. I think it was more that I did change more personally than everything changed around me, somehow. However, I was depressed again. More or less I continued this kind of yo-yo mano-depressive kind of way I have had in the first year (though I am unsure it was mano-depression).
THe most important thing to me by this time was my studio. It was a dream in 9th grade and now (since the year before) a bit of a in-progress thing. As soon as my computer was fixed I started to link everything together and started with the musicmaking. I was eager to make an album. So, during a period of less than one or two months I recorded and worked on a bunch of songs that would become "Do You Mindfuck?". Why that name? I saw it a bit as a wordplay. Either "Do you mind?" or "Do you fuck?" or "Do you mindfuck?". Take it a bit as a "Do you mind fucking?" or "Do you fuck your mind?". When I listen to that album at times just for fun I realise that the title works with the music. Teehee.
Oh, when it comes to the crayon, this was the year that I started to get into vegetarianism for real. Reading Erich Schlosser's Fast Food Nation I started to reconsider alot. Also, my ex-girlfriend had been an vegetarian. But when I once asked my mother if it was okay that I would become a vegetarian she said that it wasn't and we came into arguments. Fine, I would start eating vegetarian food at school, but at home I ate like if I was still into meat. I often lied and said the meatarians menu in order to not make my mother question her occasional: "Why?", because I think it is always discomforting to hear a simple "Why?". Over time I started to grow out from meat since I had some really bad accidents with meat in general, and seeing how disgusting the meat was in school made things no better.
As you know, I got to know several new people this year which started to exchange the occasional unstimulating boredom with older some friends for more fast paced and different friends. I have lost contact with some of those I got to know this year (but more on that in the next entry), it was sure interesting times.
But, what the heck, I dunno why I can't remember anything certain from this year. It must've been dull, and yes, as I think of it that year was very dull. If it hadn't been for me having my own little personal space with the studio and all the things going on at LJ that year would've sucked even more. All those new people I met too, they saved me from actually being completely isolated from the outer world and completely miserable. Now, it was mainly the lack of a major event that makes me puzzled about this year. A lot of things happend
but not in chunks. This was like a nice asparagus soup, with a bit of bitter veggies added in it. And some sweet stuff too. Ah, well.