(no subject)
Fio says my net has gone psychotic ex-girlfriend on me. I find this amusingly apt. I seriously must've had a good hump with my modem at some point and then jilted it horribly, or maybe it's upset that I've literally allowed so many different men to screw it from behind without objection. Yeah, well, I'm about to send her bitch ass packing, so she'd better get it out of her system now. I don't think her a whore, just a BITCH. DX>
I feel hyper and full of energy, this morning. I'm not sure why. My mind is going a mile a minute, too. So many crazy thoughts in my head going full steam, like a hamster in a wheel... except the hamster's on speed, and the wheel's inside the hubcap of a car on a cross-country road trip. My hamster's heart is gonna explode pretty soon, and I'm not sure where THAT's gonna put me. x_X;;
I have a single story idea in my head that's been dominating my creative mindspace for about a month. I've had it for longer, but it's been about a month, now, that I've been stuck at that point where I can't even THINK of anything else creative until I do something with this idea. I remember Jamie saying something similar with reference to her sewing stuff once, relatively recently, and I think I laughed. I didn't mean her any offense, but rather, I think I'd actually forgotten what it feels like to be in that position. I'm not laughing, now. Not because it's a bad feeling, really, but because... wow. It's really hitting me like a ton of bricks. I think dropping this bullshit poetry class is gonna help, too. I know the fiction writing crew there is gonna miss me, but I have the numbers for 3 of them, so once I get my phone service back in a day or two, I'll make a point of calling them and insisting upon staying in touch, at LEAST for Scrabble night at Gecko's, if not for other stuff.
The story idea I have is really so cliche in its basis, much like most of the material I come up with. I just like to think that my execution of the material is fresh and interesting enough to make it fly right. I mean, jeezus, lookit 'The Stopwatch'. How much more cliche can you get than a guy with a pocketwatch that can stop time? Miss Stewart STILL pokes fun at me over that (good naturedly, of course. She's admitted to having been in the same position more times than one can count), swearing that a story is gonna lodge itself into my subconcious and I'm gonna start walking around shaking and smacking a stopwatch, screaming "WHY WON'T YOU WORK," or something of similar ilk. Honestly, I'm unstable enough at times that I wouldn't be surprised if that's how my madness finally manifests itself. x_x;;
I had sex, yesterday. Well, sorta. It FELT like I did. Long story short, I started my afternoon by trying to make myself some pasta. I forgot about it, and wound up burning the living shit out of it, and possibly ruining the only pot I have, as well. Fuck. After some thought, I finally decided to pack up my copy of Fallout 3 and take it down the street to Hastings. I traded it in for a reasonable amount of cash. I had planned on just sitting on the money, assuming they'd give me a decent amount, but walking back, I saw McD's across the street, and treated myself to a breakfast I couldn't even eat in one sitting. Holy shit. They should do studies on links between sensory stimulation and the way the body responds. I'm pretty sure I orgasmed after taking a bite of hotcakes and sausage. The taste was horribly artificial, somewhat stale, the purchase was terribly irresponsible, but holy shit. HOLY SHIT. It was HOT, it was DIFFERENT, it was ANYTHIING but rice. It was a MUCH needed reprieve. I can now totally go back to my poverty-stricken-asian-inspired diet for another couple of days. I think I just needed a reminder that hope existed. I mean, I know I did this before, living on rice and tea, back when I was living with Gwenevere, but I really couldn't stand another day of it without spoiling myself. Now I need to prepare myself a list of responsible menu items that I can cook easily and stretch out for a good long while. Beans, soups, spam, etc. I'm grateful for my familiarity with (and love for) Cuban food, as black beans are really good for you, and I love me some black beans. :d
I have another doc appointment today for the whole medical study thing. I really wish I'd thought to start up morning pages, again, a little sooner. I could've printed 'em up and taken them with me. I'm sure it would've been incredibly insightful for the doc. Figures; I think today's my last appointment. I'd be excited about another $30 check, but I really can't be when I'm overdrawn at the bank. Not by a huge amount, but it still pisses me off that the bank can overdraw your account by withdrawing service fees, and then expect you to pay the overdraft fee. How much fucking sense does that make? Assholes. Maybe I could just take my check to a check cashing place and get enough for a handful of grocery stuff, or maybe a long-overdue haircut. The white-boy, faux-fro cannot be described. It must be witnessed... and I ain't taking pictures. But I've not seen a pair of clippers near my dome since November. If I'd be willing to wait another 4 months, I might actually be able to see what I look like with long hair. I'm not willing to find out, tho. For one thing, I'm sure it's fucking horrible looking. For another, I'm sick of literally pulling my hair out of my ear canals. So help me gawd, it's trying to take root in there. I'm rethinking my love of long-haired women... they probably all have lots of emotional baggage from what they had to go thru to get their hair to grow out so long.
Okay, that's it for me. I'm gonna... um... hell, maybe write. It's been awhile, and I kinda WANT to... which is unusual, as of late.
Oh, god DAMNIT. I think I lost internet connection sometime while typing this all up. It won't post. Fuck me. Guess I'll just set it to hammer the server until I get a connection back for long enough to let the post go thru... or bork itself in trying. Whichever. -_-
I feel hyper and full of energy, this morning. I'm not sure why. My mind is going a mile a minute, too. So many crazy thoughts in my head going full steam, like a hamster in a wheel... except the hamster's on speed, and the wheel's inside the hubcap of a car on a cross-country road trip. My hamster's heart is gonna explode pretty soon, and I'm not sure where THAT's gonna put me. x_X;;
I have a single story idea in my head that's been dominating my creative mindspace for about a month. I've had it for longer, but it's been about a month, now, that I've been stuck at that point where I can't even THINK of anything else creative until I do something with this idea. I remember Jamie saying something similar with reference to her sewing stuff once, relatively recently, and I think I laughed. I didn't mean her any offense, but rather, I think I'd actually forgotten what it feels like to be in that position. I'm not laughing, now. Not because it's a bad feeling, really, but because... wow. It's really hitting me like a ton of bricks. I think dropping this bullshit poetry class is gonna help, too. I know the fiction writing crew there is gonna miss me, but I have the numbers for 3 of them, so once I get my phone service back in a day or two, I'll make a point of calling them and insisting upon staying in touch, at LEAST for Scrabble night at Gecko's, if not for other stuff.
The story idea I have is really so cliche in its basis, much like most of the material I come up with. I just like to think that my execution of the material is fresh and interesting enough to make it fly right. I mean, jeezus, lookit 'The Stopwatch'. How much more cliche can you get than a guy with a pocketwatch that can stop time? Miss Stewart STILL pokes fun at me over that (good naturedly, of course. She's admitted to having been in the same position more times than one can count), swearing that a story is gonna lodge itself into my subconcious and I'm gonna start walking around shaking and smacking a stopwatch, screaming "WHY WON'T YOU WORK," or something of similar ilk. Honestly, I'm unstable enough at times that I wouldn't be surprised if that's how my madness finally manifests itself. x_x;;
I had sex, yesterday. Well, sorta. It FELT like I did. Long story short, I started my afternoon by trying to make myself some pasta. I forgot about it, and wound up burning the living shit out of it, and possibly ruining the only pot I have, as well. Fuck. After some thought, I finally decided to pack up my copy of Fallout 3 and take it down the street to Hastings. I traded it in for a reasonable amount of cash. I had planned on just sitting on the money, assuming they'd give me a decent amount, but walking back, I saw McD's across the street, and treated myself to a breakfast I couldn't even eat in one sitting. Holy shit. They should do studies on links between sensory stimulation and the way the body responds. I'm pretty sure I orgasmed after taking a bite of hotcakes and sausage. The taste was horribly artificial, somewhat stale, the purchase was terribly irresponsible, but holy shit. HOLY SHIT. It was HOT, it was DIFFERENT, it was ANYTHIING but rice. It was a MUCH needed reprieve. I can now totally go back to my poverty-stricken-asian-inspired diet for another couple of days. I think I just needed a reminder that hope existed. I mean, I know I did this before, living on rice and tea, back when I was living with Gwenevere, but I really couldn't stand another day of it without spoiling myself. Now I need to prepare myself a list of responsible menu items that I can cook easily and stretch out for a good long while. Beans, soups, spam, etc. I'm grateful for my familiarity with (and love for) Cuban food, as black beans are really good for you, and I love me some black beans. :d
I have another doc appointment today for the whole medical study thing. I really wish I'd thought to start up morning pages, again, a little sooner. I could've printed 'em up and taken them with me. I'm sure it would've been incredibly insightful for the doc. Figures; I think today's my last appointment. I'd be excited about another $30 check, but I really can't be when I'm overdrawn at the bank. Not by a huge amount, but it still pisses me off that the bank can overdraw your account by withdrawing service fees, and then expect you to pay the overdraft fee. How much fucking sense does that make? Assholes. Maybe I could just take my check to a check cashing place and get enough for a handful of grocery stuff, or maybe a long-overdue haircut. The white-boy, faux-fro cannot be described. It must be witnessed... and I ain't taking pictures. But I've not seen a pair of clippers near my dome since November. If I'd be willing to wait another 4 months, I might actually be able to see what I look like with long hair. I'm not willing to find out, tho. For one thing, I'm sure it's fucking horrible looking. For another, I'm sick of literally pulling my hair out of my ear canals. So help me gawd, it's trying to take root in there. I'm rethinking my love of long-haired women... they probably all have lots of emotional baggage from what they had to go thru to get their hair to grow out so long.
Okay, that's it for me. I'm gonna... um... hell, maybe write. It's been awhile, and I kinda WANT to... which is unusual, as of late.
Oh, god DAMNIT. I think I lost internet connection sometime while typing this all up. It won't post. Fuck me. Guess I'll just set it to hammer the server until I get a connection back for long enough to let the post go thru... or bork itself in trying. Whichever. -_-