Apathy
Posting from school. Not sure why that matters, but...
I seem to have developed a general sense of apathy towards the majority of events, even major ones, which transpire in the world at any given time, as well as towards the human race, nearly as a whole. You'd have an extremely difficult time getting me to give even half a shit about the ppl I used to care a great deal about.
I kinda felt the onset of all this some months back, but over the course of the last month or two, it's really begun to accelerate. Extremely rapidly, at that. It's gotten to the point that the only things in life I truly care about at this point are school, my mother, a VERY SMALL selection of people whom I hold close, and (to an certain extent,) myself.
I feel like my life is undergoing a major overhaul, even tho there's no clear and obvious reason for it, or event to cause it, aside from school, perhaps, which I do not view as all that epic. There's something else. Something that seems internal. Something I can't quite put a finger on.
I know that others, especially those closest to me, have noticed, or even sensed that something is going on with me. Joy, for sure. Probably Fio. Possibly Bill. I think my mom suspects. Aside from that, anyone else is likely oblivious. I know there are others that care, but just aren't aware of things with me right now. Many others aren't assed to let themselves be affected one way or another, I'm sure.
Fio recently mentioned feeling a similar sort of internal reorganization to go along with major current events in her life. As tough as this sort of thing is, I sort of envy her. At least she has a relatively clear reason for her frustration, her confusion, her apathy. As for mine, I'm groping around in the dark. The only thing I know for certain that I feel is that... well... I've come to the firm conclusion that I do not and cannot understand people anymore, and that they do not understand me. There are a few that I jive strongly with, but aside from the rare few that TOTALLY get me and whom I also fully understand, I feel at a near total loss around. I can't speak, I can't interact, I can't share space. I just want to hole myself up somewhere and maybe, possibly, let those whom I jive with visit once in awhile. A hermetic life is sounding better and better by the day.
I don't know why I bothered to type all this up. I was crossing the halls at school and it occurred to me to use LJ to vent. So I did. So I am.
In other random news, my old iPod Nano has spontaneously decided to work after about a month of being connected to my computer. I was convinced the battery was stone dead, as no charge would revive it. Maybe this had something to do with that time it went thru the washer and dryer in my pants pocket. It survived that, tho, so who knows. Maybe good ol' Nanatsu-Yoru still has some kick left in it.
I seem to have developed a general sense of apathy towards the majority of events, even major ones, which transpire in the world at any given time, as well as towards the human race, nearly as a whole. You'd have an extremely difficult time getting me to give even half a shit about the ppl I used to care a great deal about.
I kinda felt the onset of all this some months back, but over the course of the last month or two, it's really begun to accelerate. Extremely rapidly, at that. It's gotten to the point that the only things in life I truly care about at this point are school, my mother, a VERY SMALL selection of people whom I hold close, and (to an certain extent,) myself.
I feel like my life is undergoing a major overhaul, even tho there's no clear and obvious reason for it, or event to cause it, aside from school, perhaps, which I do not view as all that epic. There's something else. Something that seems internal. Something I can't quite put a finger on.
I know that others, especially those closest to me, have noticed, or even sensed that something is going on with me. Joy, for sure. Probably Fio. Possibly Bill. I think my mom suspects. Aside from that, anyone else is likely oblivious. I know there are others that care, but just aren't aware of things with me right now. Many others aren't assed to let themselves be affected one way or another, I'm sure.
Fio recently mentioned feeling a similar sort of internal reorganization to go along with major current events in her life. As tough as this sort of thing is, I sort of envy her. At least she has a relatively clear reason for her frustration, her confusion, her apathy. As for mine, I'm groping around in the dark. The only thing I know for certain that I feel is that... well... I've come to the firm conclusion that I do not and cannot understand people anymore, and that they do not understand me. There are a few that I jive strongly with, but aside from the rare few that TOTALLY get me and whom I also fully understand, I feel at a near total loss around. I can't speak, I can't interact, I can't share space. I just want to hole myself up somewhere and maybe, possibly, let those whom I jive with visit once in awhile. A hermetic life is sounding better and better by the day.
I don't know why I bothered to type all this up. I was crossing the halls at school and it occurred to me to use LJ to vent. So I did. So I am.
In other random news, my old iPod Nano has spontaneously decided to work after about a month of being connected to my computer. I was convinced the battery was stone dead, as no charge would revive it. Maybe this had something to do with that time it went thru the washer and dryer in my pants pocket. It survived that, tho, so who knows. Maybe good ol' Nanatsu-Yoru still has some kick left in it.