Name advice
Cut for length, to spare your friend page!
I am adopted. My mother (and father at the time) had 5 minutes to decide on a name for me during the paper-signing.
So they gave me my paternal aunt's name - all they could come up with so quickly - plus a middle name that would flow easily. When I got old enough to really understand adoption and where I came from, Mom told me that it is a tradition in some cultures (including French, which I am part of at least) to give a "milk name"; that is to say, a temporary name for the child until they grow older and a more suitable one is determined.
Since then I've been trying to figure out a name for myself that would suit me. All sorts of phases have come and gone: high-falutin' French names like Dominique; names of famous feminists; literature-related names, including but not restricted to Tolkien elves; and now attempting to find a less gender-identifying name.
I know my surname will be a pan-European choice: Martin. It appears everywhere from Ireland to France to Germany to Poland to Spain. While I can't do any genealogy for myself (not having any names of ancestors to go on), I think I can be fairly certain that Europe is my background.
First and middle names (however many that will be) have proved more difficult to choose.
I thought I had settled on Kieran at first, but it does come with the baggage that it's largely a male name in Ireland.
And then I found Kiran, which is currently in use primarily in India, or South Asian communities in North America. And it does not have a gender identifier, as it is used for boys and girls (http://www.mit.edu/~kedlaya/about-my-name.html). The meaning of it is lovely - ray of light, as is the sound of it (being just slightly different than my regular name). It contains three of the sounds I prefer in a name: hard K, R, and N.
But I worry that trying to take on a name from another country will be cultural appropriation. It may not be out-of-control orientalism, but it is taking a piece of that heritage or tradition for myself.
I have asked one of the women I know who has this name how she would feel about a pasty white girl using it too. She thanked me for even asking, but then said she personally wouldn't have trouble with it, as it had Persian origins anyway. So I thought, perhaps it's not completely terrible, if the roots are from our cradle of civilization. But I do still feel somewhat iffy about it. And I guess most people would say if you are feeling that way, it's because deep down you know it's not something you should do.
So, great internet people, what do you think? Since writing this up earlier today I did some more googling and managed to find instances of other names I could potentially use: Keina; Kiena; Kinna. Pronounced CANE-a, KEEa-na, and KIN-a, respectively. These are Welsh and German origin (although Keina also appears to be used in Japan?) as early as the 1100s. I don't love any of them, but I could probably live with them.
I am adopted. My mother (and father at the time) had 5 minutes to decide on a name for me during the paper-signing.
So they gave me my paternal aunt's name - all they could come up with so quickly - plus a middle name that would flow easily. When I got old enough to really understand adoption and where I came from, Mom told me that it is a tradition in some cultures (including French, which I am part of at least) to give a "milk name"; that is to say, a temporary name for the child until they grow older and a more suitable one is determined.
Since then I've been trying to figure out a name for myself that would suit me. All sorts of phases have come and gone: high-falutin' French names like Dominique; names of famous feminists; literature-related names, including but not restricted to Tolkien elves; and now attempting to find a less gender-identifying name.
I know my surname will be a pan-European choice: Martin. It appears everywhere from Ireland to France to Germany to Poland to Spain. While I can't do any genealogy for myself (not having any names of ancestors to go on), I think I can be fairly certain that Europe is my background.
First and middle names (however many that will be) have proved more difficult to choose.
I thought I had settled on Kieran at first, but it does come with the baggage that it's largely a male name in Ireland.
And then I found Kiran, which is currently in use primarily in India, or South Asian communities in North America. And it does not have a gender identifier, as it is used for boys and girls (http://www.mit.edu/~kedlaya/about-my-name.html). The meaning of it is lovely - ray of light, as is the sound of it (being just slightly different than my regular name). It contains three of the sounds I prefer in a name: hard K, R, and N.
But I worry that trying to take on a name from another country will be cultural appropriation. It may not be out-of-control orientalism, but it is taking a piece of that heritage or tradition for myself.
I have asked one of the women I know who has this name how she would feel about a pasty white girl using it too. She thanked me for even asking, but then said she personally wouldn't have trouble with it, as it had Persian origins anyway. So I thought, perhaps it's not completely terrible, if the roots are from our cradle of civilization. But I do still feel somewhat iffy about it. And I guess most people would say if you are feeling that way, it's because deep down you know it's not something you should do.
So, great internet people, what do you think? Since writing this up earlier today I did some more googling and managed to find instances of other names I could potentially use: Keina; Kiena; Kinna. Pronounced CANE-a, KEEa-na, and KIN-a, respectively. These are Welsh and German origin (although Keina also appears to be used in Japan?) as early as the 1100s. I don't love any of them, but I could probably live with them.